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To wonder if you'd have given her money?

(136 Posts)
pickingstrawberries Sat 25-Jul-15 15:33:51

I just had to get some bleach and other cleaning materials as we had ran out and went to wilkinsons, which isn't in a very nice part of town here.

As I was getting out of the car a woman came up to me and said 'excuse me, I'm not going to threaten you or anything, don't look so terrified!' I was hmm as I didn't look terrified, just a bit puzzled, and then she came up with this long story about how she was lost and stranded and needed 90p.

I didn't have any change on me anyway, and I didn't want to get my purse out or start faffing around (also had baby DD with me) and she just went away. She looked really scruffy and unkempt.

I feel as if I should have given her money - was I wrong?

woowoo22 Sat 25-Jul-15 15:35:00

Probably not. Depends really.

BlueStarsAtNight Sat 25-Jul-15 15:35:24

If is had some spare change in my pocket, then probably yes. But if I'd had to get my purse out then no!

Lagoonablue Sat 25-Jul-15 15:37:21

I wouldn't have given her money. The story about bus fare is a common one used regularly by heroin dependent persons around our train station and in the city centre. They get a few people to cough up and hey they have enough for a bag.

RedButtonhole Sat 25-Jul-15 15:39:10

I wouldn't have got my purse out but if I had spare change in my pocket I'd have given her a couple of pounds.

I always think that if someone has to ask strangers in the street for money, whatever their circumstances are they must be pretty desparate and if a quid helps them I wont miss it that much.

Millipedewithherfeetup Sat 25-Jul-15 15:39:46

No, she asked for money you said no, don't spend anymore time thinking about it.

confusedalways Sat 25-Jul-15 15:41:53

We had the bus pass money thing once when out, handed over a buss pass. Cheeky fucker just asked someone else for money, clearly after something other than bus fair home!

Emochild Sat 25-Jul-15 15:43:16

No, there is regularly a woman in our town saying she's lost her day ticket, can't get home etc etc

I wouldn't give it another thought

AgentProvocateur Sat 25-Jul-15 15:45:08

It doesn't really matter what she needed money for if she was desperate enough to ask a stranger. I would have given her a couple of pounds or bought her a coffee.

Lagoonablue Sat 25-Jul-15 15:47:47

I'd have no probs buying a coffee but she didn't ask for that did She?

amicissimma Sat 25-Jul-15 15:50:36

I was stopped by a guy carrying a motorcycle helmet, who asked me for the petrol money to get home to a town he named. I worked out roughly how much that would be, added a little, and offered him that. He said it wasn't enough. I noticed a packet of cigarettes in his pocket, so I offered him the extra in return for his cigarettes. He declined (not politely!). I guess that showed how desperate he was for the petrol money.

Needless to say I went on my way without giving him anything.

It's up to you. I've been in the position of having to ask strangers for my fare home, but I asked for the exact amount, asked politely, was polite if they refused and gushed gratitude when they helped. I certainly don't resent people who didn't want to give money to a total stranger.

contractor6 Sat 25-Jul-15 15:51:30

I'd by bus ticket or coffee etc, but not give money. Yanbu

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sat 25-Jul-15 15:53:03

No I wouldn't, I've heard it all before.

Rosieliveson Sat 25-Jul-15 15:55:41

I always feel uncomfortable in these situations. I don't take out my purse or open my bag.
I don't blame you for not doing so. Call me cynical but I find it hard to believe the stories I am told by people asking for money.

2rebecca Sat 25-Jul-15 15:55:52

No, it's a common begging technique. It doesn't mean she's desperate and many beggers are addicts and want money not cups of coffee or bus tickets. We have a social security system.

pickingstrawberries Sat 25-Jul-15 16:01:19

It did make me feel uncomfortable to be honest.

Why coffee? She wasn't thirsty!

jokinnear Sat 25-Jul-15 16:02:35

what bleach did you get ? Zoflora is the best, no question. Linen Fresh is so good I could wash in it

SylvanianCaliphate Sat 25-Jul-15 16:04:35

We have a regular called Gemma who does a tour around our city, depending where her asbo covers.

She's has been around that long, with many variations on her story that most people have had experience of her.

She's mellowed over the years and an offer of lunch will occasionally be accepted now.

scarlets Sat 25-Jul-15 16:06:49

I give money to rough sleepers (I know it's not recommended, but I reckon that someone sitting under a grotty blanket on a city centre pavement needs that £2 coin more than I do, whatever his/her background story) but I won't give money to people who ask for it because they're often chancers. I knew of a kid at uni who loitered outside the railway station on a Friday afternoon telling travellers that he was 80p short for getting home to his parents' for the weekend. Most people just gave him a quid. He made about £30 every time (that paid for two nights out in those days). He only did it every now and then, to avoid raising suspicions of regular commuters and rail staff. He'd often go straight from the railway station to the pub. I had to work a 7 hour shift in my summer job to get that much pocket money back then!

SistersofPercy Sat 25-Jul-15 16:11:43

We have one who's wife is in labour in x town and he needs bus /taxi fare. She's been in labour for about four years now hmm

catkind Sat 25-Jul-15 16:19:40

'excuse me, I'm not going to threaten you or anything, don't look so terrified!'

That's a line. You're supposed to be all oh no of course I'm not scared and give them some money to prove it. Sorry, but no, don't believe a word of whatever story followed that - you did the right thing.

Coffeemarkone Sat 25-Jul-15 16:20:22

she was probably a junkie.
In answer to your question, no probably not.
I do give money to beggars but hate that fake story thing.

pickingstrawberries Sat 25-Jul-15 16:21:01

I'd have been more likely to give her some money if she'd just asked for any spare change, to be honest. 90p was such an obscure amount!

GraysAnalogy Sat 25-Jul-15 16:21:28

You did the right thing to be honest.

Theres regularly a woman in town near the bus station who comes out with some spiel about how her boyfriend has hit her and stolen her purse and how she needs to get the bus home to her baby.

I was dubious the first time but gave her some, she walked off in the opposite way from the bus station. A week later I saw her doing the same thing.

Dowser Sat 25-Jul-15 16:22:05

Flash with bleach is the queen of all bleaches.

I'd ran out of it recently but then OH showed up with two!

I was in bleach heaven. I stormed into our bathroom, one in each hand, both guns blazing! Germs annihilated on the spot!

I now have a new nick name. Flash Harry!

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