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to move away?

(9 Posts)
beanabonce Fri 24-Jul-15 21:20:03

We're moving 89 miles away from current address for work lifestyle change and smaller schools for dcs (coastal village vs busy midlands town) . My xp used to have my Ds once a week. We're offering one full weekend day a week alternate days sat one weekend sun the next and after school Skype's (he will be starting yr 1 and wants to do after school clubs) thinking of stopping the CSA claim so he has more money to travel with and to not have to pay at all one weekend a month as we will drive down anyway visit dm ans df and friends? Does this make me sound like an arse? Want advice before I taken the plunge ta!

beanabonce Fri 24-Jul-15 21:22:14

Wow my phone makes me sound like an illiterate arse!

Purplepoodle Fri 24-Jul-15 21:26:02

What has your ex partner said about you moving and access?

combatbarbie Fri 24-Jul-15 21:26:06

Is there any reason why it can't be full EOW access? One weekend day with the traveling isn't really fair on DS or ExP.

I wouldn't stop CSA but as your the one moving away it be fair that you do half the traveling.

beanabonce Fri 24-Jul-15 21:49:35

He stopped travelling when he found out he was expecting a new DC. The time spent with ds would be longer say 9-5 vs 11-4 he was going for driving lessons then didn't provide me with a new address with his dp. We had to call the police as he was banging on our door for access on an unrelated day and my ds asked what his plan was and wanted to avoid him. I'm trying to go through mediation to make a ground for our solicitors to sign. Waiting on him to respond just wanted a heads up

beanabonce Fri 24-Jul-15 21:51:55

Just to add he didn't want to know which primary school my ds went too even though he access the day we found out and wasn't interested. My D's was bullied and he suggested he went to the school he was bullied at

DontDrinkAndFacebook Fri 24-Jul-15 21:52:22

EOW for the whole weekend would be kinder, fairer, less hassle and less expense. It's always a bit shit for the non resident parent when the RP chooses to move a long way and there's nothing they can do about it. I think you should offer to meet him halfway on the drop off and pick up, or drop DS off and let him bring him home, or vica versa. I don't think it's fair to move away and expect it to be all your ex's responsibility to deal with the longer journey.

beanabonce Fri 24-Jul-15 22:23:06

That is fair, we were considering pick up and drop of for the closest city. It's a few miles from the new house but an easier commute for xp. The train links are more convenient also. Thanks for reading. Its a very hectic part of life and I want every aspect to be as painless as possible.(for everyone)

beanabonce Fri 24-Jul-15 22:25:23

My xp hasn't had my ds for an overnight stay since he was 2. He is now 5/12 and cries at the prospect of spending a night away for a prospective school trip or away from his sister. I don't think it's on the cards

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