to be uncomfortable with this - teenage boyfriend/girlfriend

[froggyjump]

the parents of my DS1's 14 year old girlfriend have invited him to stay with them for 3 days during the holidays. DS is 16, and the two of them met online (a shared interest site, not any kind of dating thing). They have met once in RL, for a few hours at a shopping centre. The family live 2 hours away from us, and her parents have offered to come and get DS, and bring him back later.

I'm really not happy with this, and have said no. My DH is non committal and DS is obviously not happy with me.

What do you all think?

[JaneFonda]

YANBU.

I think it's good that you're protecting your DS - going from meeting someone for a couple of hours to staying with them for 3 days is a big leap, plus the fact that your DS is legal and his girlfriend is not could cause a big issue.

Your DH should be backing you up on this really!

[Misslgl88]

I haven't got teens yet but this would be a no from me sorry

Obviously if you aren't feeling comfortable with it then go with your gut. I will be observing the no partners staying over thing, once they pay their own rent in their own house they can have who they like staying over. This is just my opinion though

[TinyManticore]

I would feel very unsure about this too, seeing as they've only met properly once. It's a big step to go from meeting up once to staying over at someone's house. Also the age difference is a worry, it might only two years but when one is over age and one is under, it could lead to problems.

[TheHouseOnBellSt]

No. You don't know the parents at all and DS is only 16...it's still young.

[Shannaratiger]

Agree with you. 3 nights, 2 hours drive away, he's only met her for 2 hours and you don't know the parents! No Way

[TheMoonOnAStick15]

I would say no too. They've only met once! It all sounds too intense and he doesn't know them. Can't he just go for the day?

[expatinscotland]

It would be a no from me.

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

I agree with you. If you feel ok about it, can you have her over to yours for a couple of nights, and meet the parents? Let things progress at a more sensible place? Just thinking you couldn't be accused of thwarting teenage love that way :)

[AuntyMag10]

Yanbu, he is too young. And wtf is wrong with her parents encouraging all this for their 14yo daughter. She's still a child.

[Yarp]

Nope

[Finola1step]

It would be a "no" from me too. It just sounds a bit odd. My dn is 12, I cant imagine my BIL and SIL, in 2 years time, inviting a 16 year old lad on holiday with them. A lad who met dn online and dn has only seen once before. Very odd.

[DonkeyOaty]

A no from me, too

[Gruach]

I'm struggling to see how what you've described constitutes a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship.

[mewkins]

Hmm I guess they feel like as their dd is younger they would prefer your ds to go to them.... I think I would perhaps say one night overnight and perhaps you drop him there so that you can properly meet the parents and see where he is staying? Before this I would have various skype sessions with them! Eek I am some way off this but in fact in my youth I met various people through online shared interest sites (music- which I am guessing this may be the way your ds has met his girlfriend ) and lots of us would meet up for gigs, etc. Nothing too dodgy happened (except for the usual staying out til all hours and stalking bands etc!)

[defineme]

I suppose he is 16 and lots of teens are off to festivals for 3 nights doing god knows what. If he is a sensible mature type, i would have a chat about the law re underage sex and wave him off. It's her parent's choice to decide what they supervise in their house.

[angstybaby]

too far, too long, too young - no, from me too

[RealityCheque]

Wow. I have a 14 year old, VERY sensible daughter. Who the fuck makes that invite?

I'm thinking parents are away and an older friend made the car and will pick up?

[froggyjump]

reality that is even scarier!

i did meet the parents briefly when they met at the shopping centre - they seemed ok, but were really happy that she had a boyfriend. I think that is the thing that concerns me most, that they are ok with their 14 yr old DD doing this.

gruach it is how DS describes it.

I've been offering suggestions of places in between we can meet for a day so they can get to know each other more and I can meet the parents (and try to understand why they think this is a good idea!)

[MadamArcatiAgain]

Of course not!

[eyebags63]

I don't think they are inviting him up so they can have 3 nights of underage shagging. It sounds to me like they are offering to have him over so that they can be in control of the situation and monitor what is going on.

3 nights is too long. Can they not meet halfway for the day out or something.

[VelmaD]

In 1996 I had a male friend who I had met three years previously on holiday and had a pen friend relationship with

He lived right up north, me down south

He got the train down at 15/16 and came to stay at my mums house. I was 14. Twas all very innocent. (Though I very much wasn't in all truth atthe time this very much was as I respected my mum)

So I'm on the fence!

[Dumdedumdedum]

I don't think they are inviting him up so they can have 3 nights of underage shagging. It sounds to me like they are offering to have him over so that they can be in control of the situation and monitor what is going on.
^
This.

[MamaLazarou]

I'd let him. It's cute!

[defineme]

My friend's ds has just stayed the night at his girlfriends because her mum was taking them on a trip the next day that had a very early start. They are both 13. They slept a floor apart, girlfriend shares with her little sister, they had clear rules about being dressed to go to loo etc. It can be done in a civilised fashion.
otoh my best friend when I was 14, also 14, broke her bunk beds shagging her 17 yrold boyfriend, not much supervision in her house!