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to be uncomfortable with this - teenage boyfriend/girlfriend

(51 Posts)
froggyjump Fri 24-Jul-15 17:24:33

the parents of my DS1's 14 year old girlfriend have invited him to stay with them for 3 days during the holidays. DS is 16, and the two of them met online (a shared interest site, not any kind of dating thing). They have met once in RL, for a few hours at a shopping centre. The family live 2 hours away from us, and her parents have offered to come and get DS, and bring him back later.

I'm really not happy with this, and have said no. My DH is non committal and DS is obviously not happy with me.

What do you all think?

JaneFonda Fri 24-Jul-15 17:27:23


I think it's good that you're protecting your DS - going from meeting someone for a couple of hours to staying with them for 3 days is a big leap, plus the fact that your DS is legal and his girlfriend is not could cause a big issue.

Your DH should be backing you up on this really!

Misslgl88 Fri 24-Jul-15 17:27:40

I haven't got teens yet but this would be a no from me sorry

Obviously if you aren't feeling comfortable with it then go with your gut. I will be observing the no partners staying over thing, once they pay their own rent in their own house they can have who they like staying over. This is just my opinion though

TinyManticore Fri 24-Jul-15 17:29:03

I would feel very unsure about this too, seeing as they've only met properly once. It's a big step to go from meeting up once to staying over at someone's house. Also the age difference is a worry, it might only two years but when one is over age and one is under, it could lead to problems.

TheHouseOnBellSt Fri 24-Jul-15 17:30:32

No. You don't know the parents at all and DS is only's still young.

Shannaratiger Fri 24-Jul-15 17:31:40

Agree with you. 3 nights, 2 hours drive away, he's only met her for 2 hours and you don't know the parents! No Way

jellyhead Fri 24-Jul-15 17:33:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMoonOnAStick15 Fri 24-Jul-15 17:34:37

I would say no too. They've only met once! It all sounds too intense and he doesn't know them. Can't he just go for the day?

expatinscotland Fri 24-Jul-15 17:35:56

It would be a no from me.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Fri 24-Jul-15 17:36:17

I agree with you. If you feel ok about it, can you have her over to yours for a couple of nights, and meet the parents? Let things progress at a more sensible place? Just thinking you couldn't be accused of thwarting teenage love that way smile

AuntyMag10 Fri 24-Jul-15 17:36:46

Yanbu, he is too young. And wtf is wrong with her parents encouraging all this for their 14yo daughter. She's still a child.

Yarp Fri 24-Jul-15 17:36:47


Finola1step Fri 24-Jul-15 17:40:20

It would be a "no" from me too. It just sounds a bit odd. My dn is 12, I cant imagine my BIL and SIL, in 2 years time, inviting a 16 year old lad on holiday with them. A lad who met dn online and dn has only seen once before. Very odd.

DonkeyOaty Fri 24-Jul-15 17:44:31

A no from me, too

Gruach Fri 24-Jul-15 17:47:42

I'm struggling to see how what you've described constitutes a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. confused

mewkins Fri 24-Jul-15 17:49:09

Hmm I guess they feel like as their dd is younger they would prefer your ds to go to them.... I think I would perhaps say one night overnight and perhaps you drop him there so that you can properly meet the parents and see where he is staying? Before this I would have various skype sessions with them! Eek I am some way off this but in fact in my youth I met various people through online shared interest sites (music- which I am guessing this may be the way your ds has met his girlfriend ) and lots of us would meet up for gigs, etc. Nothing too dodgy happened (except for the usual staying out til all hours and stalking bands etc!)

defineme Fri 24-Jul-15 17:55:52

I suppose he is 16 and lots of teens are off to festivals for 3 nights doing god knows what. If he is a sensible mature type, i would have a chat about the law re underage sex and wave him off. It's her parent's choice to decide what they supervise in their house.

angstybaby Fri 24-Jul-15 17:56:48

too far, too long, too young - no, from me too

RealityCheque Fri 24-Jul-15 18:00:34

Wow. I have a 14 year old, VERY sensible daughter. Who the fuck makes that invite?

I'm thinking parents are away and an older friend made the car and will pick up?

froggyjump Fri 24-Jul-15 18:24:42

reality that is even scarier!

i did meet the parents briefly when they met at the shopping centre - they seemed ok, but were really happy that she had a boyfriend. I think that is the thing that concerns me most, that they are ok with their 14 yr old DD doing this.

gruach it is how DS describes it.

I've been offering suggestions of places in between we can meet for a day so they can get to know each other more and I can meet the parents (and try to understand why they think this is a good idea!)

MadamArcatiAgain Fri 24-Jul-15 18:57:43

Of course not!

eyebags63 Fri 24-Jul-15 18:59:06

I don't think they are inviting him up so they can have 3 nights of underage shagging. It sounds to me like they are offering to have him over so that they can be in control of the situation and monitor what is going on.

3 nights is too long. Can they not meet halfway for the day out or something.

VelmaD Fri 24-Jul-15 19:04:28

In 1996 I had a male friend who I had met three years previously on holiday and had a pen friend relationship with

He lived right up north, me down south

He got the train down at 15/16 and came to stay at my mums house. I was 14. Twas all very innocent. (Though I very much wasn't in all truth atthe time this very much was as I respected my mum)

So I'm on the fence!

Dumdedumdedum Fri 24-Jul-15 19:09:45

I don't think they are inviting him up so they can have 3 nights of underage shagging. It sounds to me like they are offering to have him over so that they can be in control of the situation and monitor what is going on.

MamaLazarou Fri 24-Jul-15 19:20:05

I'd let him. It's cute!

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