Overcrowded with autistic child

[Lindseyepps28]

Could anyone offer any advice or information on how to improve my chances of a move.

Myself, partner and 2 children (girl 11 and boy 9 whom has autism and receive dla mid rate care and low mobility) we live in a first floor 2 bed flat rented from a housing associations. I have been trying to get a bigger place to reduce the strain on all the family. We have been waiting for 9 year on housing list but they won't accept that the house is unsuitable for our family. They have asked me to write a letter explaining our issues. But can't think what to include!!
Any advice would be welcomed

Thanks

Lindsey

[mintpoppet]

Well why is it unsuitable? How would we know?

[Sirzy]

If it is on medical grounds can your Gp/peadiatrician do a supporting letter?

[cuntycowfacemonkey]

Hi, I would repost in the Special Needs Children or SN chat section. You will get much more knowledgeable replies in there. AIBU tends to attract the more aggressive/unhelpful posters!

Have you tried CAB for advice?

[cuntycowfacemonkey]

Ha ha thanks mintpoppet for proving my point so early on

[tubbytimmy]

Have you thought about mutual exchange.

[Lindseyepps28]

Sorry new to this site thank for info about sn chat

[gamerchick]

Report and move your post OP. I'm here you'll just get be thankful for your free house and why did you have more kids than room etc etc.

Your kids won't be able to share a room for much longer under their rules I don't think so keep plodding.

In the meantime maybe give the bedrooms to the kids and get a good sofabed for the living room for in the meantime?

[SisterMoonshine]

Even regardless of ASD, I didn't think an 11 yr old girl was expected to share with a brother

[gamerchick]

*in here

[Lindseyepps28]

Unfortunately my area has a bit of a nasty rep so no one has been intrested been on homeswapper for 9 years

[brownpaperbag2]

How about you and your partner sleep on a sofa bed and your children have a room each

[cuntycowfacemonkey]

That's OK Lindseyepps28 I would hate you to be put off this forum by some of the replies you might get in this topic. Generally there is lots of really helpful and supportive posters on mumsnet you just won't find many of them in this topic or if you do they will be outnumbered my muppets just looking to give as snarky a response as possible!

[mintpoppet]

Cunty. I wasn't trying to be unhelpful. I don't think the OP gave enough info, that's all.

[cuntycowfacemonkey]

Well maybe ask specifically for the type of info you need to give a helpful response then mint?

[MarwoodsTrenchcoat]

Opposite sex children coming up to puberty should be able to have separate bedrooms anyway. Your daughter probably could do with privacy for that reason alone (e.g. so she can get dressed and undressed in private).
Is someone sleeping in the living room so that the children and you+partner all have a bedroom?
Does your son need a low stimulation environment to calm down in? (ie his own room) What difficulties does the absence of this have on the rest of the family? Is his behaviour worse? If so how? How does it stress the rest of you out? Does it affect your daughter's school work? You and your partner's sleep, work and stress levels? (And by implication, ability to support your kids to the best of your ability?)
Do you have any specialist equipment for your son that needs adequate room?
Does a lack of personal space cause him distress?
If you are using the living room as a bedroom, does the lack of defined common living space affect your time and relaxation and cohesiveness as a family?
If you are using the living room as one and also as a bedroom, is it difficult co-ordinating bedtimes if everyone needs to be out of the living room by a certain time? Probably more so than with two neurotypical children. Is it difficult for you to sleep because your son doesn't realise he needs to be out of there at certain times

Are there any other problems with the property you could note? eg damp, noisy neighbours who freak your son out?

From another angle. Think about having the extra room. What are all the things that would be easier and less stressful with it?

[Waffles80]

It sounds unsuitable because it only has two bedrooms.

[Lindseyepps28]

Sorry gamerchick I should have mentioned that before my son was diagnosed I was in a well paid job, saving for our own house but due to his medical problems I have has to reduce my hour and therefore do not earn enough to get a mortgage, no one plans to have a child with medical issues

[WineIsTheAnswer]

I don't know about boy/girl sharing a room but ASD on mid rate presumably hasn't significant night time needs (If he has then your on the wrong rate) so I'm not sure you would get very far with that alone. Many on High rate are having to pay bedroom tax still so I'm not sure if theirs much room to argue on this point.
I would check out the rules on the Boy/girl sharing as that may hold more weight.

[Lindseyepps28]

Thank you MarwoodsTrenchcoat your reply is really helpful,

[mintpoppet]

Aren't you a sweetie cunty.

[gamerchick]

i hear you OP.

I agree it probably would be better going on the sibling sharing thing as the eldest is getting to that age and go from there.

[vaticancameos]

Wow I'm impressed your council would allocate a three bed for children so young. According to my LA you would be entitled to three bedrooms according to your circumstances. However, they would expect you to use a living area as a bedroom where needed. The boy and girl sharing at that age is the main issue here. They are too old and you should be offered a larger property on that criteria alone.

[Bailey101]

Years ago, I used to process council and HA applications - things might have changed but I doubt that much. We could only award medical points if your current housing adversely affected the medical condition, so focus your letter on how the shortage of bedrooms makes your son's symptoms worse. You won't get points purely for your son having autism, but you'll get points if, for example, the sleeping arrangements are causing your son to have behavioural issues that could be lessened if he had more private space.

[Babyroobs]

I would second the idea of a sofa bed in the lounge, it's not ideal but do-able . Friends of mine trapped in a tiny 2 bed starter home ( privately owned)with 3 kids in a bedroom not much bigger than a box room did this in order for their teenage daughter to have her own space. they lived like this for years. Otherwise have you spoken to Shelter for advise?