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Would you be annoyed if you knew your partner was probably tinkering in stocks and shares without telling you

(33 Posts)
sharedealing Thu 23-Jul-15 18:01:06

I know h is probably doing this but when I find the odd letter (unopened but the envelope I mean) from companies like Odey Wealth Management (does anybody know anything about what they do?) I feel a wave of anxiety and also angry.

Cornettoninja Thu 23-Jul-15 18:03:29

Depends. What are the family finances like?

If it's his own 'spends', for want of a better word, then he could do what he wanted. If it started impacting or risking the wider families quality of life or security then it's an issue.

The5DayChicken Thu 23-Jul-15 18:14:28

If unmarried, no kids, without joint finances, it wouldn't bother me because it'd be none of my business. If any of those 3 factors were different, I'd be quite annoyed.

firesidechat Thu 23-Jul-15 18:16:39

Yes because that should be a joint decision. Having said that I wouldn't have a problem with him doing it, although it is massively unlikely, so I can rest easy.

NerrSnerr Thu 23-Jul-15 18:19:35

Have you asked him? Is he your husband or partner? Are your finances joint? If it was shared money i would be annoyed.

Bubblesinthesummer Thu 23-Jul-15 18:21:28

If it was 'his spending money' IYSWM then no I wouldn't mind.

Salmotrutta Thu 23-Jul-15 18:24:43

Yes, it depends.

Is it all joint money? Or do you have separate accounts?

ilovechristmas1 Thu 23-Jul-15 18:25:08

yes i would mind whether it was "his spends" or not

why be so secretive,on line gambling in my eyes is similar,all kept secret till a big loss and then all hell breaks loose

60sname Thu 23-Jul-15 18:25:39

As the name suggests, Odey are a wealth manager - ie you pay them for their expertise in tinkering with stocks.

However, as I understand it you need more money to use a wealth manager than just investing in funds off your own bat - so the suns may be significant. But this is not my area so may be off base here.

Spartans Thu 23-Jul-15 18:26:07

I know h is probably doing this

Is it your h as in husband? Or is it a typo and meant to say 'he'.

Because my answer would be dependent on your situation

ilovechristmas1 Thu 23-Jul-15 18:26:39

in my deffence i was married to an ex gambler so im ultra ott about things like that

Bubblesinthesummer Thu 23-Jul-15 18:27:03

Is he actually keeping it secret though? Do you tell him everything you spend your money on?

jay55 Thu 23-Jul-15 18:29:41

You can use a wealth management firm to handle your isa if you have a stock rather than cash one. Or your pension if you're self managing.

Icelandicsuperyoghurt Thu 23-Jul-15 18:31:54

My exH 'tinkered' with everything financial without telling me and keeping things from me. Ended up homeless, divorced and he went to jail! So I would be ultra insistent in hindsight, knowing exactly what was going on.

peltata Thu 23-Jul-15 18:40:03

I made a small investment (less than 10,000) in a venture capital trust and got letters from Odey seeing if I needed their advice on other investments I may have. They might have got your details like this?

Shares aren't for everyone but as long as you are both open about it - but that could be the issue. If you are concerned enough to post then maybe you think it could be a gambling problem?

Hannahouse Thu 23-Jul-15 20:06:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HirplesWithHaggis Thu 23-Jul-15 20:20:34

My late uncle "tinkered in stocks and shares" and left an estate of about £300k. It's not necessarily a bad thing.

RambleOn Thu 23-Jul-15 20:52:45

Why don't you ask him about it?

Some odd responses on this thread. Share dealing can make you very wealthy, y'know, as a family.

sharedealing Thu 23-Jul-15 20:54:12

Thank you.

We are married, have 3 dc but separate finances.

A long time ago he did a lot of share dealing quite openly and lost quite a lot of money. He then apparently recouped some of that money when selling property that he had (investing in property is partly what he does).

Two or three years ago I realised that he was interested in getting involved in the whole thing again (or maybe at that point he was already involved) and said how much I didn't think this was a good idea. He just scowled. I then realised he must have gone back into it (to a degree - it would be one of the things he does to try to make ends meet) when I saw the nasdaq index on his phone and because of some of the post which he receives. I guess he knows I kind of disapprove which is probably why he wouldn't say anything.

Yes I guess the letter from the wealth management company could relate to any number of things.

FuckingLiability Thu 23-Jul-15 21:05:22

Hmm. It depends. While people can make a bit of cash on it, you have to know what you're doing, follow the markets and financial news pretty closely to make any kind of decent money. Otherwise it's just a few quid here and there. It's not something I would want to do.

sharedealing Thu 23-Jul-15 21:08:45

Yes I assume this is the level he is doing it at but who knows confused.

sharedealing Thu 23-Jul-15 21:09:27

(A few quid here and there I mean).

Gruntfuttock Thu 23-Jul-15 21:13:32

My husband has done this, with zero discussion with me about it, and it's absolutely fine. I trust my husband to manage his finances. He's never given me any reason not to and I've been with him for 38 years.

gwenneh Thu 23-Jul-15 21:33:07

My husband does, and it's not something he discusses with me. What he does with his income beyond the household finances is his choice -- he's 41, not a child.

sharedealing Thu 23-Jul-15 21:42:43

I trust my husband to manage his finances. He's never given me any reason not to

I guess this is where the issue is for me as h made a loss of 60K all those years ago. Who's to say it's not going to happen again?

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