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Media using children's Instagram pouts when they die

(97 Posts)
FlorenceMattell Thu 23-Jul-15 14:34:37

Tragically a little girl has died while on holiday with the school. The first picture the papers ( daily M)publish is one of her pouting - I'm guessing they have obtained from her Instagram or Facebook page.
AIBU to think this is not on?
I have a daughter the same age and she has some photos like this as do all her friends.
They don't represent them, I prefer the sporting picture, the family pictures etc.
I would be very upset as a parent if my daughter died and the picture to represent her was from her Instagram account.
I think the papers should agree to stop this practice with regards to children.

TruJay Thu 23-Jul-15 14:42:03

Yanbu I don't like this either. Wait for her family to release a picture they feel represent their beautiful daughter or better yet don't bloody steal photos from a very recently deceased little girl's facebook page.

I nearly cried when I heard the story on the radio and just thought, my god what must her parents be feeling. I know that I would spend many nights going back and forth considering whether to let my child go on a trip far away like that as I don't think its an easy decision. Her parents decided she would go and yes she would have an amazing time and then a bloody tragic accident, no one should ever have to go through that.

I just cannot imagine loosing my children, there are no words/actions to make that better.
Her teachers/friends, so many people affected, it must be unbearable.
My thoughts were truly with them when I heard that story.

Diryan Thu 23-Jul-15 14:42:23

I do get where you're coming from, but tbh I think the last thing on her poor parents' mind is what photo the media used first.

TruJay Thu 23-Jul-15 14:42:50


Celerie Thu 23-Jul-15 14:51:30

It is a disgraceful practice and actually whilst it might not be on their minds now, it is one of those things that grows in importance as time passes and you start to re-engage with the world.

It is actually contravening the copyright, that of the next of kin, FB or any of the social media platforms the image is taken from. Like a lot of social media, the law and its execution is at a muddy, ill actioned and neophyte stage.

FlorenceMattell Thu 23-Jul-15 14:52:36

Diryan yes you are right, I just think if I was the parent ,it would be an added hurt & could easily be avoided.

DoJo Thu 23-Jul-15 15:01:40

I'm guessing they have obtained from her Instagram or Facebook page.

So you don't know that this image has come from social media as opposed to the parents?

FlorenceMattell Thu 23-Jul-15 15:19:59

You are correct I am guessing.
Today there are lovely pictures of their beautiful daughter, not just a black and white pulling a face picture.
I apologise if I have offended anyone ;I just know as a parent what type of picture I would prefer published.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 23-Jul-15 15:27:27

It would ALL be avoided if people would stop buying and clicking the gutter presses. Why do they do that? How can you complain about the deplorable behaviour of pseudo-journalists when you (general) prop them up by paying them?

Poor family.

TheHouseOnBellSt Thu 23-Jul-15 15:28:58

Actually it could be avoided if parents didn't allow their children...because that's what a 12, 13 or 15 year old girl share those images.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 23-Jul-15 15:30:50

... and absolutely NOTHING would induce me to give a photo to any journalist for any reason.

I'm truly astonished OP that you'd be pondering 'what type of picture' you'd prefer published? shock

SrAssumpta Thu 23-Jul-15 15:31:08


TheHouseOnBellSt Thu 23-Jul-15 15:38:28

Witch I don't see why you're astonished. There were many comments about that poor little girl who got killed...Becky Watts...on mumsnet about the papers using that pouty shot of her during the search. It wasn;t a true representation of her.

sanfairyanne Thu 23-Jul-15 15:48:23

the grieving family are not currently going to be taking any interest but that is not to say it is ok. i agree with you op. it is the rush to have the first pictures that propels this. an agreement amongst papers would be no bad thing

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 23-Jul-15 15:53:38

I'm astonished at all of it, TheHouse... by the fact that the 'media' is permitted to take and use photos, that people buy this rubbishy 'news' and that any parent should feel obliged to provide any kind of comment or picture at all. A report of the bald facts is surely enough without ecoutrements.

The 'rush for first picture' is squarely at the feet of the public who clamour for this. It's a horrible indictment of the UK's culture now.

Yarp Thu 23-Jul-15 15:54:36

It's a bloody shame girls feel the need to pose it that ridiculous way.

<beside the point>

maddening Thu 23-Jul-15 15:57:12

Lying witch - I saw it on the bbc news report not on a gutter press webpage.

Celerie Thu 23-Jul-15 15:59:12

The images aren't always given straight 'to' journalists. What often happens is the family supply an image to the police who use it in their press releases to local and national media.

I have to write up police press releases and the general convention regionally is that you don't change one word, especially if there are outstanding legal, judicial factors.

Also, there is a growing convention for families to supply the media with a tribute to their deceased family member via the police. We receive these too, along with a photo.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 23-Jul-15 16:07:21

maddening, I went by the OP who mentions the DMail as the source.

Regarding the news reports, we didn't have these photos on screen in the good old days, it was just a "Sadly we report xyz has happened in abc place", just factual. It was better, much, much better then.

I don't understand the 'tributes' either; of course the family is going to feel the loss very sadly and pay tribute to their child forevermore, it just seems a bit crass to do it in a 'news' segment. If I lost a child I wouldn't give anything, not a comment, not a photo, nothing. News reporters can report the bare facts without input from me.

Celerie Thu 23-Jul-15 16:19:16

Those photos were supplied to print organisations before digital too. of course it is personal choice as to whether a family pays tribute via the police or not but it is certainly of huge comfort to many and therefore as valuable a choice as not choosing to do it. smile

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 23-Jul-15 16:27:58

Well by that token, what about parents who lose their children in hospital or in events that don't hit the national press. Where do they get to pay public tribute?

Celerie Thu 23-Jul-15 16:33:50

I'm not saying its perfect. I m saying that when the police are involved, this is one of the ways by which they offer support to the family. It helps mitigate intrusive requests, helps eliminate sources of stress and additional distress.

The fact that not all deaths involve the police is a matter of comfort to some I would assume bearing in mind that police involvement usually indicates foul play, accident, misadventure. What parent would envy that? If this means they don't get the 'privilege' of having police issue their tribute, then I would imagine that is probably far from their minds at the time.

Bettyboophead Thu 23-Jul-15 16:40:55

YANBU dreadful, inappropriate, disrespectful and lazy journalism. Particularly by the Daily Mail.

FlorenceMattell Thu 23-Jul-15 17:33:10

Think I must amend this as the picture is not pouting but one which girls do for Instagram sort of posing. Sorry not describing well. But not representative of a beautiful girl IMO only.
And yes it also went out on the news too. All my daughters friends have these type of photos on their accounts; boys and girls. They are of the moment in my opinion and most children only have their peer group as friends not public.

AyeAmarok Thu 23-Jul-15 18:08:44

I completely agree with you OP, i hate how these pouty Facebook /instagram photos are lifted by the media and played all over the TV and Internet.

If it was my daughter, that's not the sort of photo I would want distributed.

They did the same with the poor girls who were seriously injured in Alton Towers, plastered photos of them half naked everywhere. Completely inappropriate..

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