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To feel broken by my relationship

(4 Posts)
Sussexbelle73 Wed 22-Jul-15 06:34:11

Been with DH 15 years, 2 dc of 8 & 4. DH is 13 yrs older than me so in mid 50's. The last couple of years have been really stressful as DH gor a new managerial role that was very stressful and has taken a lot of his stress out on me & the kids- shouting, impatience etc.
I recently found out that he has managed to get a default on a credit file from an old bank account which has also wrecked my credit rating- I am currently sorting it out.
Latest thing is that he is on a disciplinary in work with 2 other people. Its really serious & he could lose his job.
I feel broken by it all- I have started having anxiety attacks, not sleeping etc.
We are sleeping in seperate rooms but DH also falls asleep a lot on the sofa & then wakes us up crashing about going to bed at all hours.
My salary isnt enough to cover our expenses at the moment either so DH is putting me under pressure to move somewhere cheaper.
I have tried to be as supportive as possible but (and I feel terrible for saying this) I feel like its a constant battle living with my DH. Its constant stress & worry and I never have any time to rest mentally.
Aibu to feel a bit like its all getting to me? I am trying to be strong but after 2 years of this, I am not sure how much I can take.

JontyDoggle37 Wed 22-Jul-15 06:39:39

First of all, flowers for you, this sounds horrible. Secondly, I think you need to call 'all stop'. You need to sit your DH down, tell him what you've told us, and tell him what you want to change. Because it doesn't sound like your relationship is the thing breaking you, per se, but rather your DH being too wrapped up in himself and expecting you to toe the line and sort out his mistakes. This is only going to get better if you can. Calmly lay out the issues and what you want to happen differently. How he reacts to that will determine what your steps are after that...

midnightvelvetPart2 Wed 22-Jul-15 07:36:45

Is it just work that he's stressed about or could the money situation be worse than you think & he's panicking badly?

Think about what you want to do, has it come to the point where you want to go? Or are you still wanting to stay? If you want to stay then you need to have an honest conversation with him as he's too absorbed in his own stuff to realise that you might be unhappy.

bobthetomato Wed 22-Jul-15 11:43:22

This is terrible. flowers What is his reaction like when you try to speak about the situation with him?

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