Should I call the police?

[Nofuck1983]

I think this is it. I bought some crisps today. DP opened them and ate one without asking. AIBU to file for divorce? Should I call the pilice? Are all men evil? Hold hand please.

[FunnyNameHere]

LTB

[Nofuck1983]

*police... think I an still in shock. Sorry

[Iloveonionchutney]

I'm leaning towards LTB but What flavour and type were they?

[Wolfiefan]

Have you murdered him? Is that why you need the police?
Does he still have all his limbs and appendages?
He opened them? In this house he'd get GBH for touching the packet or looking at them!

[RealHuman]

I would call the blade runners myself. One crisp? clearly not human.

[elephantoverthehill]

Defo. I bought a bag of 30 from Lidl on Friday and only 5 left. That's all my DCs banged to rights. I felt so awful that I had let it get to this stage I didn't even mention to the DV squad about the ice lollies and nectarines.

[AgentProvocateur]

Call 101

[Lurkedforever1]

Yabu he may have hidden sn/ medical cause. Yabu to jump to conclusions he doesn't and was just being cheeky

[Lurkedforever1]

Or mh

[Soundofsettling]

I also need specifics, flavour, size of bag and type are all relevent here.

[Salmotrutta]

We're they Worcester Sauce?

If so - kill him. Never mind the Police.

[Salmotrutta]

We're not "we're"

[Salmotrutta]

Were!!!

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Definate grounds for divorce.
He should be jailed for the forseeable future. A life sentence if they were Prawn cocktail flavour

[susielovessocks]

Crush some crisps and scatter in his side of the bed. That'll teach the filthy bastard.

[Gruntfuttock]

It's a trick, he's hoping you'll spank him for being a very naughty boy. Call his bluff and give him the rest of your crisps. That'll teach him.

[Nofuck1983]

Mature cheddar. To be honest he has not been his usual self lately. I should have seen this coming Maybe it is my falt. Where did it all go wrong? I mean I knew things were bad. But I never imagined things were this bad... I dont want to live a lie. It cannnot be good for DC. They will catch on. They will end up thinking this is the norm

[cocobean2805]

Definitely LTB. Unacceptable and ridiculous behaviour.

[coffeeisnectar]

Call 111, 112 and 999 just to cover all bases.

Then a good divorce lawyer.

Unreasonable behaviour.

What a bastard!

[elephantoverthehill]

Didn't the OP say one crisp? If so was his crime really not to make the bag airtight again to prevent the rest of the crisps going stale? I find a simple clothes peg is ideal if you dont have any of those Ikea bag sealers or may be he could have dispensed them into a washed out chinese take away tupperware box. So much more environmentally friendly than buying actual tupperware boxes.

[Melonfool]

He's probably depressed, has any other behaviour changed recently?

Or he might be having an affair. Most of them seem to be.

[Nofuck1983]

Melonfool.... yes now you mention.... I have questioned the lack of melon action lately. Maybe I should talk to him. I mean you only live once.

[Wolfiefan]

Jeez next you will be telling me they were posh crisps.
Bastard. Clearly an unhealthy relationship.

[TryToEngageBrainFirst]

You need to think about the role model you are setting your DC. Do you want your DSs to be crisp stealers? Is it ok with you that your DDs are in relationships with people who steal their crisps.

FOR GOD'S SAKE... WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!

[LadyCuntingtonThe3rd]

That's abuse. You need to get out.