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Thinking DM should not pay for her niece to go on Holiday with her

(90 Posts)
samsswampy Tue 21-Jul-15 17:39:02

DM and DF want to go on holiday next year and usually go with me and DCs next year I can't go because I am going with DH instead, so DM has asked her niece and husband if they want to go. I thought they would pay half each but DM has told me she is paying for her niece because the holiday was her idea! Shouldn't niece pay for herself?

Gatehouse77 Tue 21-Jul-15 17:42:17

It's between your mum and niece. In a nice way, butt out!

Hulababy Tue 21-Jul-15 17:44:16

It's between themselves. If your mum wants to pay then that's up to her. Niece may well have offered and had it declined.

turningvioletviolet Tue 21-Jul-15 17:44:26

I'm not even going to be nice about it - it's none of your business.

Anon4Now2015 Tue 21-Jul-15 17:44:34

Oh this has the beginnings of "Major Family Argument" written all over it!

It's absolutely none of your business. If your DM wants to treat her niece then that's her choice and nothing at all to do with you.

samsswampy Tue 21-Jul-15 17:45:25

I feel DM is being taken advantage of, niece is 63 years old and quite well off!

Patchworkpatty Tue 21-Jul-15 17:46:25

Unless she's asking you to pay for the niece I would keep quiet. There maybe a reason you don't know about - perhaps Niece and partner can't afford a holiday and your dm wants to treat them. xx

FenellaFellorick Tue 21-Jul-15 17:47:19

Isn't that up to your mum?
It's not like you can say mum, people on the internet have decided you should not pay and so I forbid it.
It is what it is. She's paying. That's kind of her. It's her money. Unless you think she is being coerced then really what she should do is what she wants to do.

Wombat22 Tue 21-Jul-15 17:47:24

Why are you so bothered? I think it's your DM's decision.

Wombat22 Tue 21-Jul-15 17:48:05

x post

LaLyra Tue 21-Jul-15 17:48:22

It's really not your business and if your DM invited niece and offered to pay then how can she be taken advantage of?

fredfredgeorgejnr Tue 21-Jul-15 17:48:44

If you'd like company on a holiday, paying for the others is quite normal and reasonable. YABU

Tequilashotfor1 Tue 21-Jul-15 17:48:51

Bit of the green eyed monster ?

It's nothing to do with you. My DGM took and paid for me and my cousin to go all over the world with her. We all had a blast !

Floralnomad Tue 21-Jul-15 17:49:05

Mind your own business .

swallowed Tue 21-Jul-15 17:49:56

Do you usually pay for yourself, or split it when you go with your parents?

LIZS Tue 21-Jul-15 17:50:13

Doesn't really matter, the arrangement is between themselves. Do you normally pay your way? Would you have gone had it been offered as a freebie?

samsswampy Tue 21-Jul-15 17:50:49

Im bothered because DM and DF live with me and are always saying they dont know how they can pay their share of the bills or their holidays!

londonrach Tue 21-Jul-15 17:51:01

Up to dm not you.

Birdsgottafly Tue 21-Jul-15 17:52:48

Do you run your finances past your Mum and would you accept her telling you what you should and shouldn't be spending money on?

I frequently have to ask my adult DDs this, when they forget I've been here longer than they have and helped them into adulthood.

Wantsunshine Tue 21-Jul-15 17:52:58

Guessing your mum didn't pay for you last year. Maybe she likes her nieces company and wants to ensure she goes

Birdsgottafly Tue 21-Jul-15 17:54:27

""Im bothered because DM and DF live with me and are always saying they dont know how they can pay their share of the bills or their holidays!""

Older people like to find something to complain about.

FenellaFellorick Tue 21-Jul-15 17:56:53

Well then it's reasonable to say youre concerned and are they ok.
But you can't tell them how to spend their money and if they choose to do this, you have to respect it.
What can you do? Forbid them? Phone your cousin and demand she pays? Take away their bank card?
Unless they are vulnerable adults and it's a matter of financial abuse, what is it that you think you have the power to do?
That's not having a go, it's just the reality of it - people have the right to decide what to do with their own money and you don't get a say in it.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Tue 21-Jul-15 17:57:53

Her business. Not yours.

Why did you say no to a holiday "because you are going away with DH"? If you wanted to go, couldnt you and DH go?

Spartans Tue 21-Jul-15 18:08:13

Huge drip feed there OP.

Do they actually pay their share of the bills? If so Yabu. As long as they are paying what they agreed they would then what they do with the rest is none of you business

LIZS Tue 21-Jul-15 18:11:40

Agree birds, just because they moan doesn't mean they can't/won't pay. Or don't they? In which case the holiday itself us questionable, not who they invite along.

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