I'm confused by the story about the Ashley Madison website being hacked. I had no bloody idea websites like this existed.
My understanding of an affair is that one gets caught up in a whirlwind of sexy excitement; one can't help oneself; one relishes the unexpected promise of an illicit break from the monotony of married life; one can't resist the flattery of a bit of unexpected attention from a friend or a colleague.
The old adage 'one thing lead to another' rings true.
With this in mind, who the actual fuck is on a website arranging an affair like it's travel insurance? Who the fuck selects exactly what type of human they'd like to have an affair with, when and on what terms. Surely, the unexpectedness of an affair is part of the deal. Surely it completely undermines the excitement and spontaneity of an illicit encounter if you sit trawling the internet thinking 'Who would I like to have an affair with?'
I speak as someone who has been an OW, who has been cheated on and who has cheated on a partner.
AIBU?
to think you don't arrange an affair like travel insurance?
Ouchmybloodythumb · 21/07/2015 09:49
so your OK with cheating its just the internet part you don't like ?
Apparently one million users in GB
Those sites are usually free for women but men have to pay so it will just be men who've had to sign up using their credit card details.
So actually 8 million men and zero women ?will be really upset
there's another thread in relationships at the moment where people talk about polyamourous (sp?) relationships where they have a desire to connect with other people, for sex, emotional attraction or both but while still remaining in their primary relationship. And obviously their primary partner is fully aware of this fact. I imagine that AM might be the type of site one would visit if one was inclined to go down the open relationship route?
Or perhaps someone who is in a sexless marriage might go down that route rather than resorting to use prostitutes (neither of which I think are great tbh but perhaps they see the former as better than the latter).
Fwiw not justifying at all bbut not everyone just falls into an affair, some people actively seek them, and I suppose that sometimes they may feel justified in doing so, e.g. if a partner can no longer be sexually active due to severe illness or disability for instance, and going to a website seems better and more up front (to the person they're cheating with at least) than potentially falling into an emotional and then physical affair.
It does seem seedy though, and I am more at the idea that someone thought of it in the first place.
And people aren't necessarily looking for what YOU think an affair is - they're just looking for sex.
I do think an affair is just sex.
Spartans Yes, exactly.
As someone upthread said -
do you really believe that everyone on POF and similar dating and 'hook up' sites are really free and single?
Not in a million years are they!
This Ashley Madison site (and there are a few others apparently) is simply upfront about the nature of it. I cannot believe you're genuinely surprised that people actively go looking outside their relationship.
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OP - did you just want to make a funny comparison with travel insurance? I reckon that's it. 
I am just having a chuckle at the whole thing TBH. Ooh the panic! 
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