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To think you can just reinvent yourself if you so wish?

(57 Posts)
milkandmarmite Sun 19-Jul-15 23:11:39

Just like that - overnight? I'm fed up with what I've got, so thinking of waking up tomorrow and starting a 'reinventing' process.

My diet, my body, my clothes, my hair, my confidence, my social life..i could go on...It all needs a thorough overhaul.

AIBU to think you can just wake up one morning and start afresh? Anyone done it?

FarFromAnyRoad Sun 19-Jul-15 23:12:56

Not in reality, no grin but I will watch with interest.

Toughasoldboots Sun 19-Jul-15 23:14:40

I have over the last two years tried this.
I had my scars filled, lost four stone, had my hair sorted out and spent time on me.
I lost my way with three young dc and hated myself for letting it all go.
I feel much better now.
What do you want to change?

JointheJoyride Sun 19-Jul-15 23:16:48

No, in reality you can't. If you're rich you can.

Mintyy Sun 19-Jul-15 23:21:13

It's very unrealistic to think you can do this.

What about all the people who know you as you are now?

You can make small steps towards self improvement - of course you can if you are bothered - but that is not reinventing yourself overnight.

Milllii Sun 19-Jul-15 23:26:42

Yes you can if you want to. You can make yourself a better version of you.
Why would you not. If you are not happy and you don't bother trying then you will be saying the same thing in another years time. Small steps but you can begin tomorrow.

SwissArmy Sun 19-Jul-15 23:27:38

You sound primarily as if you just want to look different, and be more confident as a result, rather than a self-reinvention, eg. completely new career path, move to another country etc etc ...?

What you propose isn't so radical. There's no reason why you shouldn't become healthier, change your hair and boost your social life and confidence!
The only slight snag in your plan is other people, who generally seem to have a marked preference for the status quo, or their version of it, at least. My sisters were horrified when I lost a lot of weight and looked more conventionally attractive.

milkandmarmite Sun 19-Jul-15 23:28:12

Tough you sound as though you've done amazingly well!

I know a lot of things take time, but it's more the mindset. If you decide you're going to change and reinvent yourself, i wonder whether you can do it.

I am feeling at a low ebb - single mum to a toddler DS. No/very few friends. No social life at all whatsoever. No hobbies. No book reading anymore, diet horrendous, body a disaster zone. Used to have a lovely figure - exercised regularly. Nothing now. Quiet, timid person. This is not how i want my life to be. I want to do something different!

Milllii Sun 19-Jul-15 23:30:11

You wont know if you don't try milk. Whats to lose.

queeneileen Sun 19-Jul-15 23:33:07

Change your hair (easiest thing to do. I went from bobbins brown to shocking red, and the amount of folk who said it was more me was unbelievable!), then change your diet, then your clothes, then your house, then your space, then your life, then everything.

It takes a small step........

Tequilashotfor1 Sun 19-Jul-15 23:33:44

Yes you can do.

I did it when I left my ex. I needed to really think about what direction I wanted to go in and to totally change my friendship circle. I did it, the new friend group took a while but it's doable

Toughasoldboots Sun 19-Jul-15 23:33:53

I found it very hard at first, it's not been trouble free and I can be a bit self destructive when I get fed up.
You can do it, once you feel better about weight/hair whatever, you will want to go out more.

You owe it to yourself, you deserve looking after.

milkandmarmite Sun 19-Jul-15 23:38:42

Thank you for your replies. It means a lot. I think i didn't realise how bad i have been feeling. But now I am going to have a go at the reinvention. Little things first. Tackling the diet, the exercise, getting a book, hair appointment, arranging to go out for a cup of tea perhaps.

littleducks Sun 19-Jul-15 23:39:41

A school run mum lost a ton of weight, went from quite large and frumpy to half her body size and training to run a marathon. She gained huge amounts of confidence too. I expect the initial weight loss was gradual and we didn't notice then she had a bit of a make over and it was suddenly shockingly obvious. She then continued to slim down and tone up.

I'm still fatty and frumpy wink but in last 5 years have got more educated and qualified for a new job, have friends and the beginnings of a social life (studying slowed progress on that front down).

It definately is possible but maybe not all at once. The mindset is key so good luck!

tanukiton Sun 19-Jul-15 23:39:57

YES you can ! Start on the physical but also the mental add a bit of yoga and meditation. Find something you want to learn and meet some new people. Wear your new clothes every day!!!

The self help books always say it takes 21 days to make something habit.. Cut your hair first as that is an easy fix.
Week 1 buy a pair of shoes that you can wear every day but make you feel great. i cant wear heels but have lovely sandels.
Week 2 buy 1 new outfit. Dont leave it until you have all lost weight.
Plan a treat each week and join one of the exercise threads to get your mojo on..... I am going to start a 30 day change today for me it is exercise and cut the booze. i would cut the coffee as well but baby steps!

Tequilashotfor1 Sun 19-Jul-15 23:43:49

Plus look at madonna and kylie M they reinvent themselves selfs every five years!

PurpleSwift Sun 19-Jul-15 23:49:50

You can't change over night no. But get an idea of who you want to be and aim towards that. Maybe do a college course, change your hair/wardrobe, exercise and eat healthy and try and get out of your comfort zone.

SabrinnaOfDystopia Mon 20-Jul-15 00:35:05

Yes, you can. I reinvented myself when I went to Uni at 18 - no longer the mousey quiet girl. I left that girl behind in my home town.

It helps if you can change location and do it suddenly - you can be who you want in a new place, with no previous history holding you back - but I've known people do it over time anyway, maybe it takes a bit of time.

I think it's why I get 'itchy feet' so often - an urge to reinvent myself every so often. Unfortunately I've got dc in school now, so it's harder.

TryToEngageBrainFirst Mon 20-Jul-15 00:37:23

Be the first to meet my new user name!

Good luck with what you're trying to do.

SabrinnaOfDystopia Mon 20-Jul-15 00:42:56

BTW - I do know (not that well) someone who's done this at my ds's school. When I first met her, about 4yrs ago, she was a bit overweight, hair a bit of a mess, etc. I suddenly realised when I saw her at parents eve the other week, that she has lost a ton of weight, her hair was looking fab, and she had very nice clothes and make up on.

It can be done!

MissDuke Mon 20-Jul-15 09:33:29

I used to be very obese (size 24), very antisocial and in a very unhappy job. I lost weight (got down to a 10-12), took a part time college course and am now at university studying for my dream career. I didn't have the confidence to change careers until I lost the weight. I made more effort to meet up with friends, got regular eyebrow waxes, hair cuts etc and made an effort with clothing. I admit it has slipped a little now, I have been very stressed with essays and exams over the last 6 months and am now a size 14. I know I will never go back to the way I was though. I believe it can be done, but it takes time and lots of motivation. Good luck!

milkandmarmite Mon 20-Jul-15 09:43:42

Well, some positive stories here! I am going to give it a go. What's to loose? I certainly can't feel any worse about myself than I already do.

This morning I am starting with a bit of a house turn out. Followed by some pro active appointment making!

AccordingToOurRecords Mon 20-Jul-15 09:50:50

You already have done OP just by thinking differently. Positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes IME.��

meglet Mon 20-Jul-15 09:53:31

if you've got time and money it's possible.

The rest of us have to make do.

EponasWildDaughter Mon 20-Jul-15 09:59:05

Yes you can, yes you CAN! (maybe not actually overnight however wink) but you definitely can.

I've done it. Twice actually. It's very very liberating.

Lots of good advice given already on hair, figure, clothes.

One word of caution - and this is not to put you off, it's hopefully to stop you being put off if it happens to you:

Some people out there (and it could be one you would least expect) will see you changing and be cross about it for reasons of their own and be rather negative and unpleasant in some way. Don't let them get you down or put you off.

good luck flowers

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