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Children should have a say whether they are sent to boarding school

(102 Posts)
Hannahouse Sat 18-Jul-15 23:12:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Sat 18-Jul-15 23:15:17

I'm not sure what you're asking?

Do you know children who didn't get a say in this?

TheTroubleWithAngels Sat 18-Jul-15 23:16:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OwlinaTree Sat 18-Jul-15 23:17:43

Well presumably there will be a reason. Maybe the parents move around a lot with their jobs or work away from home a lot. Whether or not the children want to go would be a bit irrelavent then. I was never asked if I wanted to do lots of things when I was a child, my parents made choices for me. OK, this is a major choice but it's still a parent's choice if they think it's necessary.

DonkeyOaty Sat 18-Jul-15 23:23:15

?

VoyageOfDad Sat 18-Jul-15 23:26:59

I can't believe any child of 7 would want to be moved away from their parents to board at a school.

Personally i think its child abuse.

hibbledibble Sat 18-Jul-15 23:29:54

Lots of children want to board.

Mallory towers and harry potter make it slu d great fun!

OwlinaTree Sat 18-Jul-15 23:29:55

Well it's not what I would choose to do but I wouldn't call it abuse. However, of I was a single parent in the forces of something like that I might feel it was the best choice for my child. Who knows.

SchwarzwalderKirschtorte Sat 18-Jul-15 23:32:53

Is this a DM article?

Need photos of sad faced children?

Andro Sat 18-Jul-15 23:42:58

I was sent to boarding school because my mother couldn't cope with me and the twins (she just didn't want me there but she couldn't say that).

Right or wrong? Right...probably. I doubt I'd have survived my teenage years if I hadn't been away. That said, boarding school can and does break some children. Not everyone can cope with it even with support and excellent pastoral care. If you knowingly force your child into a situation they can't cope with, they loath and is discructive to their mental health then yes, it does become abusive.

Murfles Sat 18-Jul-15 23:46:59

All of our children boarded. I put them kicking and screaming into the back of my car and threw their luggage in after them. I left them with awful people and never spoke to them until they came home at the end of term. Yup they are completely institutionalised confused.

BlueBlueSea Sat 18-Jul-15 23:51:03

I boarded and loved it, much happier at school than at home. I got to hang out with my friends all the time. Hated going home in the holidays.

I asked to go, did think it would be a bit more like St Trinians than it was though.

ChopinLiszt Sat 18-Jul-15 23:52:21

Child abuse?! That made me inhale my wine. Boarding isn't for every child - one of mine has flexi-boarded since she was six and is now about to become a weekly boarder at 13. Definitely the right thing for her. I also have a younger daughter who flexi-boards sometimes but she doesn't really enjoy it so she won't go on to boarding school. Horses for courses.

madwomanbackintheattic Sun 19-Jul-15 00:04:05

Absolutely incoherent op. I hope you are a better journo than that crap suggests.
It's funny how the word 'institution' can be used either with venom, as in your op, but also to refer to a British Stalwart, isn't it? Hm. <ponders>

It could equally be said that the local primary won't suit all children, if we're being picky. Or the local Montessori. Or Waldorf. Or that Home Education won't suit all children. Or unschooling.

Goodness, all this horses for courses stuff is exhausting isn't it? It's a good job that parents familiar with their children are making the decision as to what is best for them, hm?

If my 6 yo really felt that eating ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day was best for him, I'd still say no. And when he needs prescribed medication, but refuses to take it, I do make him.

But if you want to get all philosophical and discuss children having agency over their own lives, that's another matter. I suspect you're just after a boarding school bash though. Yawn.

thehumanjam Sun 19-Jul-15 00:11:54

How many children actually go to boarding school in this country? Not many I should imagine.

gointothewoods Sun 19-Jul-15 00:12:13

WTF is the question?
I went to boarding school at the age of 12. Personally I think sending a child away any younger is not appropriate.
However I adored my boarding school years, made friends for life, did very well academically, didn't really experience homesickness.
Many of my peers struggled, hated their time in boarding school, were lonely and ignored by family, were not equipped for living as you do in a environment like that.
So the same as a non boarding school really.

theblairbitchproject Sun 19-Jul-15 01:18:25

Im sorry but why have children if your going to pack them off aged six. I dont understand. At all.

AmazonsForEver Sun 19-Jul-15 01:24:00

Aren't 40% of children in British boarding schools from overseas? Perhaps you should be posting in a non UK-based forum?

larant Sun 19-Jul-15 01:24:14

Not all children have good family backgrounds. For some boarding school at 6 is much better than being at home.

madwomanbackintheattic Sun 19-Jul-15 01:27:04

Oh well done blair. Five minutes of fame? Froth on this topic, go?

manicinsomniac Sun 19-Jul-15 01:29:04

I work in a boarding prep school.

We don't get many 7 year old boarders. The ones we do have are either from military/foreign service families or have a specific reason why it's difficult for them to be at home.

I don't think many (if any) children under 11 would choose boarding over being at home. But that doesn't mean that they don't enjoy it and aren't happy. To call a modern boarding school education abuse is ridiculous.

And they do get a certain amount of a say in that the parents of a consistently unhappy child who does not settle after a given length of time would be told that their child would have to stop boarding.

missingmumxox Sun 19-Jul-15 01:31:16

Good luck with your article, xx

Maryz Sun 19-Jul-15 01:32:19

I agree with TheTroubleWithAngels.

Journalists should really be able to write English fluently.

BadLad Sun 19-Jul-15 02:02:53

I went from six. There weren't any good schools where my father was posted to in the early 80s, so it was boarding in England. If I had been unhappy and wanted out, my parents would have made other arrangements. They were forever asking me if I was sure I wasn't miserable there, but it was fine, and I got used to it in no time.

Supersoft Sun 19-Jul-15 07:23:38

I was always desperate to board, especially in that one that does lots of horse riding in Yorkshire, Queens or something. I imagine for a lot of children boarding provides them with the stability that they wouldn't get at home due to their parents work, or other factors like parents health etc.

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