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To think my 'friend' has a hidden agenda?

(16 Posts)
Wonderingsouls Sat 18-Jul-15 14:23:55

First I just want to say I am the most paranoid person so that's why I'm asking advice here.
I had a 'friend' a few years ago who became obsessed with me and when I cut her off she broke into my house with a male and beat me up and robbed my phone/purse so that's why im so paranoid over new people.

The friend im questioning I have known for a year. I do think she's a bit of a user as she use to expect me to drop her home from work for free and it was out of my way.
I still talk to her but have been trying to distance my self as I do feel she is a bit obsessive.

A few days ago when I didn't answer the phone to her calling me several times in a row she texted me 'you're lucky I don't know where you live'
(I just moved about two months ago)

I spoke to her yesterday and she said slight digs like "well you are being secretive with where you live"

She also makes jokes that she will just turn up at my house if I don't answer the phone.
I'm not at all being secretive. I haven't told her she cannot come round.
I just moved, I'm decorating and my father just passed away. She knows all this. There is no secret so I don't understand the obsession but since the conversation yesterday it's now making me question her attentions.
She also said in this conversation "just text me your address and I will come around"

I feel she is a bit obsessed with knowing where I live. Why does she keep asking? She seems so eager.

Like I said im a very paranoid person and look for questions everywhere so I may be unreasonable but thank you for your opinions.

fattymcfatfat Sat 18-Jul-15 14:27:32

If you don't want to tell her, don't tell her. None of her business. If someone behaved like this to me I would feel awkward around them. and probably tell them to go fuck a duck

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 18-Jul-15 14:28:27

Your previous experience has understandably caused you to be cautious around people.

The constant calling then texting would annoy me so I too would distance myself from her.

Is she aware of what happened to you?

SquinkiesRule Sat 18-Jul-15 14:28:58

So sorry to hear about your father.
She sounds obsessed. Don't text her your address.
Text that your busy and will talk next time you see her. I think you need some distance from her. I might even block her number depending on how she responds to that.

Ashwinder Sat 18-Jul-15 14:29:23

She doesn't sound like much of a friend to be honest. I'd distance myself pronto.

MarinaCoyle Sat 18-Jul-15 14:30:48

Yup, bail out of this situation OP. She doesn't sound right.

Wonderingsouls Sat 18-Jul-15 14:31:54

Yes she knows what happened to me.

Optimist1 Sat 18-Jul-15 14:32:02

I think she's found your secretiveness odd and is just using this to tease you with. If you want her to be your friend you need to make her understand that your secretiveness is rooted in the horrible previous experience and that you can't always pick up her calls as you've got such a lot going on in your life at the moment. She might take offence and end the friendship; she might not.

whothehellknows Sat 18-Jul-15 14:32:18

That sounds weird. Thinking about it, I have quite a few mates who I'll meet up with but don't know where they live.

Ringing you several times and then texting you that is obnoxious! Clearly if you don't pick up the phone, you are busy and she needs to leave a message and wait until you have a minute.

I'd be pretty open and tell her she's being weird about it and that you don't like people just turning up, so you'll tell her if and when she needs to know.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 18-Jul-15 14:32:44

she texted me 'you're lucky I don't know where you live'

for that ^ alone give her a wide berth.

BabyFeets Sat 18-Jul-15 16:30:44


breadstixandhommus Sat 18-Jul-15 17:27:29

This sounds familiar, have you written about this before?

SurlyCue Sat 18-Jul-15 17:32:16

I think you need to work on your friend selecting skills. It isnt normal to have two people, unknown to each other, to behave in such a creepy way.

bigbumtheory Sat 18-Jul-15 17:35:51

She sounds too intense and a bit creepy with the lucky comment. If she's a user and obsessive I'd steer well clear. I doubt she has an agenda but if she's so clingy and obsessive it's likely you are her new infatuation.

Hissy Sat 18-Jul-15 17:44:56

You posted about her a couple of weeks back, right?

Just block her, she sounds awful!

Atenco Sun 19-Jul-15 03:07:51

I would block her too, OP. She does sound creepy or just nasty texting you like that when she knows what happened to you.

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