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To think parents need to start parenting?!

(290 Posts)
grumpasaur Fri 17-Jul-15 19:25:55

Dear Parents,

I understand that you love your children. I do. More often than not, I love your children too, and am happy to play with them and indulge their childish whims and imaginative fancies.

However, I do not understand why more and more, you are seemingly immune to the noise and disruption your children cause when you allow them to run rampant in predominantly adult spaces.

Kids make noise. I get that. Some kids make noise no matter how much you try to quiet them. However, you will get a significantly increased amount of support and understanding from me if I see you at least TRYING to keeping them quiet- again, in predominantly adult spaces.

When I see you calmly eating your sandwhich whilst your two twins run around the small café, talking loudly on the phone, screaming at each other, stomping their new shoes to show them off, and indeed even BEATING EACH OTHER UP, and I see you do nothing...well, I want to take your children, discipline them for you, and give you a proper telling off for being a shit-fuck of a parent. I want to give you a spanking and tell you to smarten the fuck up.

Parenting is hard. So I hear anyway. I chose not to have children because I do not wish, yet, to have to disrupt my life with the responsibilities of parenting.

May I calmly suggest that you respect my decision not to have kids just as I respect your decision to have yours. I'll help you as much as you need...really, I will, just ask my friends with children.

But seriously. This lazy parenting which impacts not only the way that your children are treated but also the way parents in general are perceived has got to stop. It's ridiculous, indulgent, irresponsible, and annoying as fuck.

Seriously. STOP IT.

Or go to soft play, where your kids can scream all they like and I am sip my coffee in peace, far far away.

zeezeek Fri 17-Jul-15 19:29:30

YANBU. Thought I'd get that in before the flaming starts. grin

DonkeyOaty Fri 17-Jul-15 19:29:39


caravanista13 Fri 17-Jul-15 19:31:03

I can't see this ending well!

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter Fri 17-Jul-15 19:31:48

<grabs popcorn>

Tell us more, OP.

ThisFenceIsComfy Fri 17-Jul-15 19:32:48

Haha oh dear.

EatDessertFirst Fri 17-Jul-15 19:33:23

I don't think you are BU. But a lot of people on here and in RL believe their special snowflakes should be able to do as they please. 'They are just expressing themselves! AWW!'.

More like AARRGH!

thatwhichwecallarose Fri 17-Jul-15 19:34:10

I with you!! Drives me potty.

PerspicaciaTick Fri 17-Jul-15 19:34:13

My children are a delight. The OP, less so.

BlueBananas Fri 17-Jul-15 19:34:14

Oh yes I got here early grin
cake anyone?

Wideopenspace Fri 17-Jul-15 19:34:32

I have a toddler. He is a joyful, assertive bundle of fun. His idea of quiet is not the same as most adults. He wriggles, he asks constant questions at the only volume he seems to have. When he is tired or hungry, he is grumpy. I love him.

I entirely think no one apart from me should be forced to put up with him.


Trunkisareshite Fri 17-Jul-15 19:35:09

Possibly the cringiest thing I've ever read on here. Spanking? Bluurgh!

However YANBU to want some people to parent better. YABU to think you have a clue how hard it is because you 'help' your friends (who I suspect find you massively annoying and a bit of a 'know nothing know it all').

toomuchtooold Fri 17-Jul-15 19:36:10

I want to take your children, discipline them for you, and give you a proper telling off for being a shit-fuck of a parent.

I dare you to try. Touch my kids, friend, and you'll find yourself leaving that cafe before you feet can touch the floor.

FWIW, I have twins, they are young, sometimes we are in public places when they are tired or bored or ill, and I make efforts to calm them and entertain them, efforts which might not look like much to people like you but increasingly I couldn't care less because for certain people, simply taking a young child out in public is enough to warrant criticism and stupid passive-aggressive behaviour. We can hear them sighing and tutting when we get on the bus. Our kids don't like it when people reach over the buggy to reach something in the supermarket as if they weren't there, rather than waiting their turn, and when people kick or push the buggy out of the way, yes, we're not blind, we can see that happening. Sometimes my kids will ask "why is that angry man looking at us?" when we're on the tram and they're just sitting there chatting to me, not bothering anyone... and I have to say, it's just some miserable person who forgot what it's like to be a child. Just ignore them.

Just ask my friends with children.

What, you don't have children of your own? Well, I never would have guessed.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 17-Jul-15 19:36:18

I don't think people necessarily need support and understanding from you OP.
Maybe when you have your own dc you will understand.

Ghirly Fri 17-Jul-15 19:37:20


BlueBananas Fri 17-Jul-15 19:37:21

Trunkisareshite shock we love our trunki's! If they did adult ones I think I'd have the bumblebee smile

CraftyCrafterson Fri 17-Jul-15 19:38:14

Well I fucking hate soft play so im not going there.
I do actually go to * shock horror * 'grown up' cafe's with my two.
I'm afraid I'm not going to stop that anytime soon. Yes, they can be loud and people look but they don't run around and I need to leave the house sometimes or I'd go bonkers

Justmuddlingalong Fri 17-Jul-15 19:39:25

So, you've decided not to have kids. Probably for the best, given your shitty attitude.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Fri 17-Jul-15 19:39:38

I would not let my kids behave in that manner, its gives parents a bad name. Im sure there are lots of kids you dont notice as they behave well.

WorraLiberty Fri 17-Jul-15 19:40:20

Welcome to MN Jo Frost

I agree it's unasseptable...

honeycrest Fri 17-Jul-15 19:40:38

While I don't think kids should be allowed to run riot, I don't think a cafe is a 'predominately adult space'. Children are a part of society and are just as entitled to be there as you. Get over yourself ffs

ChwatFeechers Fri 17-Jul-15 19:41:51

Tell us more indeed!

Andrewofgg Fri 17-Jul-15 19:44:46

Well, toomuchtooold - you mention public places where the OP mentions predominantly adult spaces and there's a distinction.

But yes, it's bloody rude to act as you describe in the supermarket and as for public transport obviously you have to accept that children will chat at their own volume.

Where I sympathise with OP is where parents put the headphones in and leave their little darlings to it . . . we've all seen that and it's lazy.

Andrewofgg Fri 17-Jul-15 19:46:17

Justmuddlingalong the OP sayd

I chose not to have children because I do not wish, yet, to have to disrupt my life with the responsibilities of parenting.

Observe the yet and worry.

MammaTJ Fri 17-Jul-15 19:46:51

Ah well! I suffer 'damned if I do and damned if I don't'. DD is a little handful at 9 years old and takes a lot of telling before she actually sits down and behaves. I get glared at for speaking to her as firmly and sometimes loudly as I do, but you can bet your life if I let go a little I would be glared at by the OP and the like for not controlling her!

I am selective about where I take her though, so probably would not have the 'pleasure' of meeting the child rearing expert that the OP is.

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