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Those of you with teens at home...what do they do to help around the house?

(74 Posts)
Happyringo Fri 17-Jul-15 07:23:41

DD is 15. Does nothing, literally nothing, other than tidy her room (under duress). I have definitely been at fault for allowing this situation to develop and I just wonder how much do other people's teenagers do?

This kind of came to a head yesterday when I asked her to play with her little sister for half an hour while I cooked dinner and she made out I was asking something outrageous.

(For info, the house consists of me, DH (not 15yr old DD father) DD age 15 and our 3 yr old DD. 15yr old DD stays at her father's alternate weekends).

LineRunner Fri 17-Jul-15 07:26:16

Sounds like my DD at 16.

Now, however, at 19, she can cook, wash up, do her own laundry ... tis a miracle.

LindyHemming Fri 17-Jul-15 07:32:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HagOtheNorth Fri 17-Jul-15 07:32:15

At 15?
Hoover, wash up, cut the lawn, occasional cooking for others, putting a load in the machine, popping out to the shops...There's probably lots of other things but it's hard to think of them because we live in a shared family house and everyone pitches in.
Mine are adults now, still at home.
I'm not including all the things I expected them to do for themselves when they were younger, like changing their bed linen, cleaning the bath or shower after they've used it, clothes in laundry basket and clean clothes put away, keeping communal areas tidy.

iwantgin Fri 17-Jul-15 07:32:35

Hmmm.. I have DS aged 17. He does very little actually. Makes his own bed and food.

His only job is to deal with the bins. I.e. empty when full/smelly - and once per week take the wheelie bin to the front of the house.

I will enforce this in the holidays as he will have plenty of free times to fulfil his duties.

HagOtheNorth Fri 17-Jul-15 07:33:54

See? I forgot pets and the bins. Oh, and unloading and putting away all the family shopping when I come back with a bootfull.

ChampagneAndCrisps Fri 17-Jul-15 07:37:43

Mine don't do a lot, but lately I've been making a point of asking them/ telling them chores to do. I'm overwhelmed with housework and its only right that they learn to do some. They're pretty rubbish at it - but they need to practise.

Thinking of using the old fashioned money incentive as have just opened current accounts for them and I'm blowed if DD (15)is getting money for nothing.

DS (17) is better at helping out and will cut the grass etc.

Kim82 Fri 17-Jul-15 07:41:42

Ds ages 13 (14 next week) will wash the dishes, wipe down kitchen worktops, empty bins, Hoover upstairs, pop to the shops for bread/milk etc, keep his room tidy, put his clean clothes away, bring his washing down and entertain his 12 month old sister if I'm busy.

Most of these things I have to tell him to do, he wouldn't do it off his own back but once started he makes a good job of it.

Oh, he will also make himself something to eat - toasties, pizza, beans on toast - that sort of thing.

ConfusedInBath Fri 17-Jul-15 07:50:14

DS is 15 and does a lot of extra curricular music stuff - sometimes all weekend and often during the week, so is pretty tired. But he does his room every Saturday and will walk the dogs and put bins out/mow lawn if asked.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Fri 17-Jul-15 07:50:18

We have a rota, kids are 16,14,13,12,8 and 2, they all do things like dishwasher, feed pets, clean bathroom etc big ones clear dog poo. They also all see to their own rooms, muck in with setting table and clearing, washing clothes and putting away and everyweek we have a blast of downstairs for a couple of hours. Generally help with everything as we all live here.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Fri 17-Jul-15 07:51:18

Oh and bins, recycling and hedge trimming.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Fri 17-Jul-15 07:53:44

And popping to shops etc, these aren't seen as chores though just part of living in a house!

Happyringo Fri 17-Jul-15 07:53:54

I clearly need to introduce some kind of routine for her doing some jobs.

She has no extra curricular school activities, unless socialising counts!

ThatIsNachoCheese Fri 17-Jul-15 07:55:17

My DH will be reading this to get tips on how to get our moody dd to help!

LavenderLeigh Fri 17-Jul-15 07:56:23

At 15 she was responsible for own room, including changing bed. Had to bring down own laundry for washing, do dishwasher and bins, make her own lunch during the holidays, help with dog walking.

1Morewineplease Fri 17-Jul-15 07:58:14

DD 20 will do washing and ironing, clean kitchen and bathroom, put shopping away, clean out fridge , help with cooking, tidy up, load / unload dishwasher.
DS 17 does vacuuming, front and back lawns , washing and will do most of the above when DD is at uni.

Actually they're pretty amazing and I don't have to do anywhere near as much as I used to when they were small.

HOWEVER!!!!!! Their bedrooms !!!!! sad(

Sparklingbrook Fri 17-Jul-15 07:59:08

Not much. I didn't do anything as a teen either, and I am now very very picky and houseproud.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 17-Jul-15 07:59:45

Very little. I wasn't expected to do much at home as a teenager, so have just followed on from that with my own teens.

LineRunner Fri 17-Jul-15 07:59:58

DS is 16 and is actually a lot more useful than his sister was at that age. He'll unload shopping, empty the big kitchen bin, feed the cats, bring his laundry down, etc, without being asked. He also talks to me!

Mama1980 Fri 17-Jul-15 08:01:56

My dd 17 does pretty much everything, washing up, hoovering, rooms, gardening, washing....whatever needs doing really. I'm a single mum and she has 3 younger siblings so we tend to pull together with the house. She has her own sitting room/den and bedroom for when her boyfriend and friends stay, it is cleaner than the main house smile

gymboywalton Fri 17-Jul-15 08:02:05

they wash or dry dishes-pretty bregualrly
help cook
dust and hoover
empty bins

tidy their rooms=whatever they are asked to do really

castlesintheair Fri 17-Jul-15 08:02:54

DS (13) does the bin. Doesn't sound much but we are rural and road is a long way from house. He mows lawn with tractor. Grass currently dead so he hasn't had to do it for weeks. Loads / unloads dishwasher. Tidies room if nagged. Looks after younger DC. Does other ad hoc jobs like lifting heavy stuff for me, raking leaves, dealing with large - ahem- insects.

MissMogwi Fri 17-Jul-15 08:03:21

DD1 (13) has to keep her room tidy, wash up occasionally, Hoover and clean the bathroom. She also babysits her sister for a couple of hours a week. I do pay her for babysitting but the other chores are expected as she lives here too.

DD2 (11) same as above. Shes often more helpful as she still likes me. She is the babysittee, so her role there is not too annoy DD1 too much.

I have always expected them to help a little bit, as I work full time and its not a hotel tbh.

wilbur Fri 17-Jul-15 08:11:14

My kids are 14, 12 and 9 - they do the washing up and drying up together for weekend lunches, empty the dishwasher, keep their rooms tidy and hoover. They also take it in turns to do a basic clean of the bathroom once a week (it's not great, but it's a start and I can finish off). They don't help with laundry at all apart from putting away their clean clothes - which for ds2 means putting it on the floor of his room, sigh. Ds1 and dd can then also do some basic meals (mostly involving things on toast or pasta), make a salad, that kind of thing. Ds1 has just recently started mowing the lawn and they all help with various job in the garden (sweeping leaves, picking up windfalls). None of these jobs are done to any high standard, but they're improving. We are not a naturally tidy family so all these skills needs to be learned. I think sometimes, because when kids do chores they are quite rubbish to start with, a lot of parents just think they'll do it because they are quicker and do a better job and so the kids never learn. If you're going to get them to do household chores or cooking, then you have to be prepared to be thrilled and encouraging even when the kitchen surfaces are wiped with a filthy cloth or you've got massively overboiled pasta for dinner. grin

Happyringo Fri 17-Jul-15 08:14:53

I probably went too far with not asking her to do things. My mum died when I was 12 and it was just me and my dad at home, by 15 I was doing all the cooking and cleaning every day after school and making sure dad's dinner was on the table after work. I didn't mind, I'm not moaning about that, but equally didn't want my kids to have to do it. But I think I need to strike a balance!

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