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Poem to read at bed-time - worth some illustrations?

(9 Posts)
Lottiey19 Thu 16-Jul-15 21:20:41

The Last Bear

Many years from now,
in a time yet to be,
in world still to come,
long after me.
A tiny old lady,
will get out of bed
and reaching high on a shelf,
she will pull down her ted.

Hugging him close
and smelling his fur,
will bring back the memories,
so precious to her.
For this is the last bear,
the last of his kind:
Toys fell to television,
books to online,
and before children remembered
what they didn’t know,
there were no bears to be found,
nor tin men to show.
no child played with dollies,
not one knew a truck,
no rascals came through the doors
covered in muck.

Sitting in bed,
the woman will sigh:
“I wish they remembered,
as clearly as I,
what it is to be young
to be free,
to have fun,
to laugh and imagine,
a world as you run,
that doesn’t exist
(just in your head).
Do you remember those times,
my ted?”

The teddy will look,
her square in the eye,
and reflected in his,
her mother she’ll spy.
That mother that gave her
a bear so smart,
an imagination so great
and a beating heart
that glows with love,
for youth and for fun.
Because although memories fade,
it only takes one
little old lady
to get out of bed,
to reach to her shelf
and pull down her ted,
to call down to her Grandson
and hold out her toy:
“The bear is now yours,
my beautiful boy.
So go into the garden:
take my old ted,
build a den with the willow
and stake out the shed,
forage for pig-nuts
and bake fifteen mud pies,
build a world of laughter,
under the skies”.

Many years from now,
in a time yet to be,
in world still to come,
long after me.
You’ll look to the teddy
lying beside you tonight,
and see youth and fun,
in a different light.
The light of memory,
sometimes disarms,
but fun and happiness
shelters and calms.

So sleep my lovely,
cuddling your ted,
you are safe in your dreams,
you are safe in your bed.
And I’ll give you laughter,
but when I am gone,
remember the fun
and please pass it on.

freezation Thu 16-Jul-15 21:22:07

What's your AIBU?

dementedma Thu 16-Jul-15 21:23:48

Erm,rubbish poem imo

Wideopenspace Thu 16-Jul-15 21:36:43

The rhythm is all out in several places.

I don't understand the question?

WannabeLaraCroft Thu 16-Jul-15 21:48:34

I like it! smile

But where's the unreasonable bit?

Comfortzone Sun 09-Aug-15 20:28:49

Nice poem/story OP. Did you mean you need illustrations for this?

tigermoll Sun 09-Aug-15 20:37:06

Umm, I don't mean to be harsh, but I work in children's publishing, and it is SO MUCH MORE competitive than people think. You need to think hard about who this is aimed at and why they would buy it -- I'm afraid this reads to me like something an adult would think a child would like, rather than something that would engage a child. Also, most illustrators are booked up years in advance and can really pick and choose their assignments -- illustrations are such an integral part of picture books that the good ones are highly sought after. it's not that easy to just get someone to draw the pictures for a few quid.

tigermoll Sun 09-Aug-15 20:39:46

Also, it's quite sentimental, and doesn't really have any characters or anything really happening in it. I find it hard to imagine what the child would get from it, apart from a vague anxiety about the future.

MrsToddsShortcut Sun 09-Aug-15 21:02:24

I know you probably posted in AIBU for traffic, but I honestly think you'll get a better, more helpful response if you repost in Creative Writing.

The posters there are invested in writing and can offer you advice/constructive criticism (if that's what you want) from a writers PoV.

AIBU is a bit of a bear pit at times and while you may get honest responses, you may not necessarily find them helpful! Good Luck smile

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