Back story is I split with ex ils son 7 years ago due to high levels of dv. Ex has been arrested, charged and prosecuted on several occasions. The last prosecution was 3 and a half years ago for making death threats
I ended up moving 450 miles away that same year and got my kids (2 girls, youngest now 9 is his) settled in good schools and into activities. For the first year I drove them back several times for contact with ex and his family but then, to my horror, ex moved three miles away from us.
He initially had contact eow on either Saturday or Sunday but started asking for overnight. I let them go a few times but teen was sleeping on the floor and youngest sharing a bed with him and he was letting them stay up most of the night. I started getting called on Sunday mornings because they were playing up and he couldn't cope so I needed to come and get them. So I put a halt to overnights. Then he started delaying bringing them back, often until gone 10 pm if he thought it would affect plans I had with them such as movie night or going to see fireworks. He was also late picking up every single time and when dropping them off would stand in my garden dragging out goodbye for up to an hour.
He started with the controlling behaviour again insisting that when I sell my place in old area that money gets split between kids or he will take me to court (flat is mine) and saying I'm not allowed to take them on holiday. He then started telling youngest he was going to kill me and dp if I or dp ever had a car accident while kids were in the car, telling youngest she should go and live with him. Teen told me that his room reeks of cannabis and she needs to open windows. I've had to call the police after he tried to hit me in my garden (in front of kids and do)
So I got a non molestation order in December which states no direct or indirect contact naming me and the kids. In court he was offered contact via a contact centre but he declined.
The issue is his parents, mainly fil who keep trying to give me messages from him. Fil seems to think this is fine although I've patiently explained on several occasions that it's breaking the order. He keeps asking me if ex can see the kids. I can't through to and tonight I lost it. He rang to say ex has money for teen which she can have when she sees him and asked me to pass a message to kids from ex that he loves them. Told him yet again I don'twant to know and he said he thinks I need to get some perspective!!! I lost it then, shouted at him and told him that I was sick of his son, that I've had years of grief off him and if he tries to pass on anything else I'd be reporting both of them. He wasn't happy (not sure he's forgiven me for him losing his shotgun licence because they were lying out when they went to arrest ex once) but I'm fuming. He didn't want to know any details of his sons behaviour and has suggested it's "in the past".
What do I do now?
Sorry for v long post. Don't want to drip feed.
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AIBU?
to have got a bit shouty with ex fil?
22 replies
coffeeisnectar · 16/07/2015 21:10
OP posts:
AlpacaMyBags ·
19/07/2015 11:54
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