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To not want to get in car with my friend who recently passed her driving-test? How do I avoid offending her?

(12 Posts)
SummerOfLadybirds Thu 16-Jul-15 15:00:29

I'm heavily pregnant and terrified of having a car accident. I have no problem getting in car with DH or friends who are good drivers (though TBH I'm on edge of my seat as feel very protective of baby). Normally I'm not a nervous passenger at all. Due to medication i'm unable to drive myself at the moment.

My friend passed her test a few months ago after multiple failed attempts. She's already had a couple of minor accidents. She is naturally scatty and easily distracted, and recently reversed into someone's car in a car-park because she 'forgot it was in reverse'.

She is coming to visit for a few days when DH is away. I'm tempted to insist we take taxis everywhere (this will be expensive but I'm happy to pay for them and would feel much safer). How can I insist on this without upsetting her? I thought of saying it's difficult to park at the places we're going, but it's not and she'll realise.

Or AIBU to feel so worried?

RevoltingPeasant Thu 16-Jul-15 15:03:34

Why can you not drive?

Or, just say you get carsick in pregnancy and don't want to be in cars.

If you need to go places that require driving and you don't want to drive yourself, then yes, she'll probably realise.

FenellaFellorick Thu 16-Jul-15 15:03:46

You probably can't insist on it without upsetting her.
You probably have to choose between lying to her - maybe saying you are feeling really fed up and sore and don't want to go anywhere. Or telling her you are anxious about driving with her and accepting this means she may be upset.

contractor6 Thu 16-Jul-15 15:06:12

If you weren't pregnant id say yabu, but first and foremost you have to put bump first, you anxiety will be raised and that's not good. I was in a car accident at 6 weeks and still worried about other cars on the road. Explain you are being pfb and would prefer being with a more experienced driver, don't mention accidents.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 16-Jul-15 15:07:54

If you can't drive yourself then you have to realise this is your (irrational) problem.

Which I totally understand as my kid is about to pass and I don't trust her to load the dishwasher properly grin

Malenky Thu 16-Jul-15 15:08:15

You're going to upset her by saying it but hopefully she will understand and get over it quickly as if she is a reasonable person she will know that you have to put your baby first. There's not really a plausible lie you can tell in this case.

museumum Thu 16-Jul-15 15:11:02

Depending where you live can you avoid using any cars? Just say you find them too uncomfortable with the seatbelt etc.

Rainicorn Thu 16-Jul-15 15:14:29

Does she have a small car? Can you not just say you can't manoeuvre your nearly die bump into it and say you'll get taxis as they're more spacious?

NataliaBaker Thu 16-Jul-15 15:17:13

I'd just be honest with her but word it more about you than her crap driving. Like you're anxious, you know you're being silly blah blah.

Saying that though, you can easily get crap driving taxi drivers too. I was an anxious car sitter inner when pregnant and some of them drove me to tears with how they drove or behaved. Pot luck. Might be better the devil you know!

UrethraFranklin1 Thu 16-Jul-15 15:19:57

You'll have to tell her the truth or stay at home.
But why would random taxi drivers be any safer anyway? You sound very anxious anyway, are you dealing with that?

SummerOfLadybirds Thu 16-Jul-15 15:30:11

Thanks for responses...

Reason I can't drive at mo is i'm taking codeine for SPD, which makes me feel drowsy and unfocused, GP advised not driving on it.

We're in a city so it's easy to take taxis and the taxi-drivers are used to the city roads so I feel more relaxed (my friend lives in country and has never driven in a city though I got impression she's looking forward to practicing with me as she mentioned on phone how she feels more confident with someone next to her!) All the trips we've planned are within the city (no more than 10mins drive each way).

It's only in the later stages of pregnancy I've started getting anxious in cars. Even when DH drives I'm very alert to hazards and feel very protective of bump.

I guess I just have to tell her the truth blush Unless anyone can think of a good excuse for why using taxis is better than driving?

SummerOfLadybirds Thu 16-Jul-15 15:32:02

Rainicorn that's a good idea, thanks. Yes she does have a small car.

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