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To feel that nursery have washed their hands of ds?

(21 Posts)
Chipshopninja Thu 16-Jul-15 08:54:08

I'm a bit pissed off with ds' nursery.

He's 3, will turn 4 in August and so will start school in September. As both me and OH work he will still be going to nursery 3 days a week right up until the week he starts school.

A couple of things have happened recently which make me think theyve just lost interest in him/his development

The nursery had a photo day, proofs came back last week (I know because my SIL was given them for my niece last Wednesday) for parents to look at and decide if they wanted to buy any

Despite ds being there on Monday, I was handed the envelope when I dropped him off on my way to work yesterday afternoon an was told by the manager that if we wanted to order any we would have to let them know that day, as the photographer was coming to collect orders first thing this morning. Didn't give me any time to check with parents/in laws and let them choose one and me and oh had to decide and fill in the form/get the cash together and I drove up at 10pm last night and dropped the envelope through the letter box.
They didn't apologise for the short notice or give a reason for it. Just sort of shrugged!

A couple of weeks ago I picked him up and he was soaking wet. He very rarely has accidents now so I was surprised and annoyed they hadn't changed him into spare clothes we have always provided. No idea how long he'd been like that.

Also, when OH picked him up last night they gave him Ds' development folder to bring home and keep. So that's it then?! Another 8 weeks there and no more development, no need to fill in his folder?!

They've been great with him and us until the last few weeks, it's like they've just lost interest and I'm tempted to say something

AIBU?

Thatsafunnyface Thu 16-Jul-15 09:16:05

That's rubbish! Eight weeks is a long time for a little kid. Take the folder back and say it must have been given to your DH by mistake. Don't worry about hurting the staffs feelings, your son comes first. You'd think after him being there for years they'd genuinely care about him sad

Ahemily Thu 16-Jul-15 09:21:43

Awful that you picked him up wet, poor little thing. I'd be complaining!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Thu 16-Jul-15 09:48:13

Please arrange an appointment to go and talk to the manager.
A child being left uncomfortable in wet clothes is not good enough.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Thu 16-Jul-15 10:07:39

Has anything else changed?
Is there a new staff member?
Does another child have a similar name to ds?
Could there be a misunderstanding?

If no to,all of the above, then something is wrong.
Lots of kids stay in nursery over the summer, so they should be used to that.
I would have a quiet word with the room leader, followed by the manager.
Yanbu.

Wolfiefan Thu 16-Jul-15 10:11:24

I wouldn't say the photographs were relevant.
The folder? I expect other children who are starting school in September have left and they just handed them all to parents at the same time.
Being wet? It could have just happened. You should have queried it at the time. Have a word with key worker.

stressedoutnan Thu 16-Jul-15 10:13:44

I think these situations could all have perfectly valid reasons, he could have only just been wet and not told them, they may have forgotten about the photo thing (although agree they should have forgotten) and they could have been giving everyone's development folder out at the same time and may give you a few more bits when he officially leaves. So they are all pretty minor things, however, all these together add up and I too would be annoyed. definitely pop in to have a word is there a possibility they don't realise he's staying until the end of the summer?

stressedoutnan Thu 16-Jul-15 10:14:44

oops I meant they should have apologised

cuntycowfacemonkey Thu 16-Jul-15 10:18:45

Apart from the being wet issue which you should have addressed straight away I don't see an issue. I think you are being a little over sensitive in thinking they have lost interest in your son.

Chipshopninja Thu 16-Jul-15 10:34:30

Thanks for all your comments

I didn't raise the wet issue at the time as I didn't realise until I was helping him into the car, but yes I should have gone back and raised it then, you're right

There's no child with same name etc so I don't think there's been any confusion

No staff change either

I'm going to ask about the folder when I drop him off this afternoon, but I'm not going to kick up a fuss about the photos (hate confrontation anyway)

summerainbow Thu 16-Jul-15 10:38:04

Surely at his age he should know he is wet and be able to changed himself or ask for help in changing.

BlueStarsAtNight Thu 16-Jul-15 10:44:02

If you didn't notice he was wet until you got to the car, then it's reasonable to think that they hadn't noticed either if it had only just happened. I'd mention it and ask about the folder, but not go in all guns blazing!

ShadowFire Thu 16-Jul-15 10:47:58

I think the wet clothes issue is the one I'd worry most about, but if it had just happened, it's possible they may not have noticed.

Term finishes this Friday here, so all the kids who are only at nursery for the 15 free hours will finish nursery this week.

I know the staff have been getting all the development folders ready for the kids to take home this week, regardless of whether the kids are booked in over the summer or not. I haven't asked why, but I guess it's a combination of it being simpler to do them all at once, and the nursery routines being a bit different in school holidays. They call it holiday club then, and each day has a different theme, so not quite the same as the way they run the nursery in term time.

Na1play Thu 16-Jul-15 11:26:59

Childcare providers would have already written childrens transition reports to their prospective schools using up to date development records. The teachers need these reports now to prepare for September. These observations/folders have now passed onto parents but doesn't mean they won't take any interest in any milestones the children may make.
Have a word with the nursery about the wet clothes.

Wolfiefan Thu 16-Jul-15 11:28:43

He can't have been that wet if you didn't notice. Perhaps nursery staff didn't notice either?

bobajob Thu 16-Jul-15 11:35:37

They'll have passed on all their stuff to schools now, and term time only children will be leaving - giving you his folder doesn't mean they aren't going to be doing any activities anymore, it just means that the record keeping isn't necessary.

What would be the point other than to make a nice scrap book for you? That's not really their job.

Photos were an oversight, but does it really matter?

Agree if you didn't notice the wet clothes and your DS didn't mention them, then understandable the nursery missed them.

pilates Thu 16-Jul-15 11:42:08

Op, I think you need to calm down.

I think the only thing I would be annoyed with is the soaking wet incident and, as other have said, this could have just happened before you turned up.

Chipshopninja Thu 16-Jul-15 11:49:13

I'm calm thanks Pilates. Not like I'm going to rush up there and kick off about all this.

Perhaps he should be able to change himself or whatever at his age but he's very shy.

Being too shy to ask to go to the toilet has been an ongoing issue at nursery and they were aware of it and were supposedly dealing with it. He doesn't have accidents at home or when we are out and about, and didn't on his recent school induction days so I do think this is a nursery issue

I'd be much happier not sending him over the summer but I've got to work.

I know these thing are all small issues but added together it made me question things.

Thanks for the explanations about the folders though that makes a lot of sense.

DeeWe Thu 16-Jul-15 12:12:28

If you didn't notice he was wet until you were helping him into the car it is perfectly possible he wasn't wet at nursery, but wet himself on the way to the car.

Chipshopninja Thu 16-Jul-15 12:27:08

Possible yes, but unlikely

He always tells me if he needs a wee, he would have said.

BarbarianMum Thu 16-Jul-15 12:33:00

I'd be cross about the wet clothes but if they were dark and the accident very recent they may not have noticed.

Photo thing sounds like a cock up.

Development folder is a non-issue. Your ds will continue to develop over the summer whether it's recorded or not. And school will pick up observations in September.

I don't think for one moment that they've suddenly lost interest in a child they previously cared for well. Far more likely that its a combination of 1 unfortunate incident (the clothes) and a hectic time of year.

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