To want to drop kick that kid out of a window?!(85 Posts)
I know I'll probably get flamed for this, but here goes nought...
I live in a 3-storey block of flats- 2 per floor- and (at present) we are the only ones without DC. The building is constructed in such a way that we hear noise from the flats above and below us. My downstairs neighbour has 3 dc and a dog, and another on the way, and while generally her kids are quiet at night I am woken by their noise every weekend morning.
Today's rant, however, is about the
fucking devil's spawn child belonging to the neighbour who lives above me. It seems she's going through the terrible twos (or it might be threes), and wants to sleep in Mummy's bed with her at night, and screams bloody murder if she can't. Apparently my neighbour used to capitulate and let her DD get in bed with her; however it seems her new tactic is to just let the kid fucking scream. For hours. In the middle of the night. Every night.
The problem is, because the sound carries through the floor, I am woken- and kept awake- by this delightful child's screams. I work unsociable shifts as a nurse
because all the daytime shifts get given to my colleagues with kids so I have to get up at 3:30 in the morning most days, and even now, as I type, I am listening to that child screaming, feeling my blood pressure rise, knowing that even if/when she stops I'll be too stressed to go back to sleep, and I'll go to work utterly exhausted. My neighbour works part time (afternoons only) and her Mum takes the kid to nursery every day so she can catch up on her sleep in the mornings. I don't have that luxury. This has been going on for weeks now, to the point where I'm frequently in tears myself. It's no good trying to get an early night to compensate as there is a play area outside the building, where yet more kids make yet more noise until about 9 p.m.
I've tried speaking to my neighbour about it- I'm not some unsympathetic child hater (although this child is sending me further in that direction every day) I'm planning on having my own DC eventually
when I have a house and soundproofed walls, I really do understand that it isn't easy for her and- like she says - her DD needs to learn that she can't just have her way- but AIBU to think that it's a little unfair that she's just letting the kid scream and keep me her neighbours awake? I've tried using earplugs, but they pop out of my ears and I worry about sleeping through my alarm.
Tell you what, there's no contraceptive as effective as other people's children!
You live in flats, there will be noise. What do you expect her to do? Duct tape her child's mouth?
She needs to let her dd in her bed. She can't keep everyone awake indefinitely! I'm not surprised it's driving you mad.
She isn't keeping everyone awake indefinitely.
How long is ok though? The mum also lives in flats and has to think of others too. She needs to let her dd in her bed again and try again in a couple of months. People without children have needs and rights too, when you live in flats it's give and take from everyone.
I have sympathy. Our new upstairs neighbours seem to wear wooden clogs that they stomp around in .. Through the night.. Every night... And when not stomping they are shagging... Incessantly .. And we hear the whole thing ... It's grim.
I think it's in no way unreasonable for you to expect to get a decent sleep in your own flat.
Your neighbour needs to be mindful that she lives in a flat with other people in close proximity.
I'd be furious if it was me.
Hope you her it sorted!
Do you all own your own flats or can you report her to a landlord? Is there a residents' group you can bring it up at? Or get the local council involved.
It's very selfish behaviour. Yes, the girl has to learn. But she could be doing more to keep her quiet and why should you suffer?
Start keeping a noise diary, too.
Yes, you have to expect a certain amount of noise when living in a flat but that's not just normal noise levels. And you'll find that in 99% of leases (I'm yet to find one that doesn't - I'm a property manager for blocks of flats too) there's a clause about noise audible from outside of the apartments between specific hours, for example 11pm and 8am, so if she's letting her kid scream bloody murder for ages in the middle of her night without making an effort to stop the kid then the woman is in breach of the terms of her lease.
YANBU (ffs don't call social services on her though ).
Can you record the noise in your flat? The mum might think you're exaggerating and not take it seriously. If you record it though you can let her hear just how loud it is for you.
There obviously needs to be a balance between her needing to get her daughter settled and you being able to get some sleep. Of course noise comes with living in a flat, but this sounds like too much.
YANBU to be pissed off. But what do you expect mum to do about it? I've had a child who screamed in the night when she couldn't get up and play. For a while I let her because I was worried about disturbing the neighbours but that's not something that could carry on forever and in the end I had to bit the bullet and not give in. There was nothing else I could do to stop her screaming - I tried everything - she just wanted to get up.
Sleep training should only take a few days...not weeks!
Poor child is obviously not ready yet or the mother is not doing it properly.
Either way op I would actually go and have a word with her because this is not acceptable.
What's she supposed to do?? She has to tow a line with the child which is good parenting you can't let a child do everything ut wants because you live in fear of the neighbours. She must feel bad about it too. I doubt this phase will last long. It is of course not always straightforward to have your own house and soundproofed walls and they have to live somewhere just as you do. I suggest moving out, or giving it a while longer then reminding them you can hear it. But I'm not sure what you think will magically silence a child other than giving into bad behaviour if she's been told not to do x.
I can see why you are pissed off but also feel for the poor mother -3year olds can be terrors At bedtime! I think you are outnumbered though and probably need to think about moving. It sounds as if you live in a family area and something less family friendly might suit you more.
YABU. This is the reality of having a 2/3 year old. They have tantrums when they don't get their way and they can't always get their own way. Tough luck basically. Move out or get some ear plugs.
I sympathise op, but if it's been going on weeks it surely can't last much longer. Sounds like a v horrible situation for the parents as well.
You never know, they might move out and you'll get someone ten times worse in their place. It's a block of flats, neighbour noise is a definite possibility.
I used to live in a flat with noisy neighbours both sides and down below. The ones down below used to keep me awake all night talking really loud and then shagging for hours. Sounds funny now but it wasn't at time.
Can you do anything about better soundproofing?
This sleep training should not be taking this long.
It is not reasobable to cause that much distress to neighbours.
Do you have a landlord you can report her to or if you are private can you contact the council about the noise.
I do feel sorry for the woman I had a child who wouldn't sleep myself, but I think when you live in a flat you have to respect the noise levels car more than if you live in a detached house.
I have a 2 year old and live in a flat and we make an effort to keep him calm and quiet at night. It's part if living in flats there is noise but you have to try and minimise it gor everyones sake.
keep in mind its not the poor kids fault though.
Buy a detached house in the middle of nowhere. job done.
YANBU, that amount of noise going on for weeks would send me loopy. I know that the child can't be blamed but the mum must take responsibility. Yes living in flats isn't peaceful but telling the OP to move when it's not her fault seems a bit drastic all the mum needs to do is change tactics.
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