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To be annoyed with my SIL (sorry, FB related!)

(13 Posts)
britespark1 Wed 15-Jul-15 20:40:50

I use FB to share photos/updates about my kids with friends and family who are scattered around the country. Today my eldest finished nursery so I posted a photo of him at his 'graduation' ceremony (yes, yes, I know........). A few mins later my younger brother posts a lovely pic of my 9 month old nephew and himself on their hol. Adorable picture. Now my SIL never ever comments on my kids photos, rarely 'likes' them yet every single photo of my nephew warrants gushing comments about how amazing he is. This is exactly what happened with the two photos today. AIBU to be annoyed with this or is it the basic thing of 9 month olds are still very cute and perhaps my 4, 3 and 2 yr olds aren't. BTW she and my other brother also have a son, 5, whom I adore and always taken a interest in (as much as she will let me as she is very over-protective due to a condition he has) but it's starting to hurt that she just isn't interested in mine (never comes with my brother at Xmas, birthday visits etc either).

yellowdinosauragain Wed 15-Jul-15 20:50:40

Could it be something as simple as her fb is set up to give her notifications from your brother but not you? I have some close friends who I've tried to follow bit for some reason fb never gives me notifications when they post. I often only see posts I've got notifications for. ..

britespark1 Wed 15-Jul-15 20:52:51

I did think that, but wouldn't the fact that both of my brothers, my other SIL, my mom, dad etc comment on them also bring it to her attention?

PandaNot Wed 15-Jul-15 20:58:44

I've turned off notifications from my sil so don't see anything from her, because her 'smug' and judgemental posts make me want to reply with horrible comments which would cause no end of family rows. Maybe she just doesn't see your posts?

cuntycowfacemonkey Wed 15-Jul-15 20:59:05

I don't know what there ds's condition is but is it possible given that he is close in age to your 4 year that possibly she finds it hard to see pictures of him doing stuff that maybe her's can't? I know that when ds2 was younger it always hit quite hard to see children his age or younger doing things he had not yet mastered. Could be totally off base there she could just be a bit of an arse?

NorksWar Wed 15-Jul-15 20:59:09

Agree with the above. Nothing from my OH'S page appears in my news feed despite our mutual friends commenting or liking them etc. Just a Facebook glitch maybe.

cuntycowfacemonkey Wed 15-Jul-15 21:00:12

THEIR bloody hell I've typed there instead of their about a hundred times tonight angry

cuntycowfacemonkey Wed 15-Jul-15 21:01:23

Do you comment on her posts? I know I rarely see posts in my news feed from people I rarely like or comment on

tidalwaveover Wed 15-Jul-15 21:07:53

Maybe she doesn't like you much?

Not being snarky, just you know - maybe she's not that fond of you. As long as she's being polite and not causing rifts I can't see the point in overthinking how many photos get liked by whoever on fb confused

britespark1 Wed 15-Jul-15 21:09:10

Cowface (can I call you that for short?!), he has autism and what you have said has crossed my mind......perhaps it is difficult for her in some way although my nephew is indeed an incredible little boy. I comment in her things relating to him all the time because I love him and he is family so she knows I'm there........

britespark1 Wed 15-Jul-15 21:10:40

Tidalwave I guess that could be it. We were close once, she took me to hospital the day I miscarried my first baby and for that reason I used to think the world of her. Now she is just indifferent and it hurts.

cuntycowfacemonkey Wed 15-Jul-15 21:43:27

You can call me cowface grin (really must name change back this is terrible user name I adopted as a joke following a tirade of abuse from another poster !)

OK well I would possibly give her the benefit of the doubt - my ds also has autism so I can understand a little where she may be coming from. Maybe she is just struggling with it a bit? It's not right of her to ignore you or you children but it's hard be rationale sometimes about these things. I imagine she is consumed 24 hours a day worrying about her son's development and his future. Try not to take it to heart OP it's not really about you.

You may not be able to regain that close relationship but it might help you and hurt less if you can acknowledge and accept that she possibly in a bad place and although you haven't done anything wrong for whatever reason she has retreated a bit. I know I probably cut myself off for a fair while after ds's diagnosis, not consciously I don't think but I'm certainly not as close to some people as I used to be.

britespark1 Wed 15-Jul-15 21:55:23

Thank you for offering some perspective. I know there are so many issues going on for them all the time, it's important to remember it's not actually always about me and mine.

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