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To ask about holiday abroad

(9 Posts)
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Wed 15-Jul-15 08:14:28

I am sahm, single parent to ds and dd.

Dp left several years ago, is now minimal contact. Mutual choice, we would (and do) contact for important things.
He might even send dcs an Xmas card...

He pays nothing to or for dcs.

He is on ds birth certificate, not dd.

I am taking dcs to visit family in Europe in the summer holidays.
Now panicking (a little), do I need to tell him?
We will be gone for 10 days. Nowhere currently hostile.

He hasn't seen dcs since October last year.

MiddleAgedandConfused Wed 15-Jul-15 09:44:22

I would only tell him if your residency terms say you have to. Otherwise, don't bother.

Cherryblossomsinspring Wed 15-Jul-15 09:56:00

Do you have any reason to think he might try to stop you going? If not then I would let him know and say you'll have your mobile if he needs to get in touch. It's just manners to let him know you are leaving the country but the need for manners goes out the window if you think he might try and ruin it for you.

RachelRagged Wed 15-Jul-15 10:09:33

If it isn't stated anywhere that you need to ask I would just go with the DCs OP.

Ausflug Wed 15-Jul-15 10:28:13

I have known people who have been stopped at (European) borders and asked if they have permission from the other parent to take their DC out of the country; they've been asked for a signed letter and a copy of the absent parent's passport, I think.
Some countries even have more official documentation that you need to have legally witnessed, not sure which ones they are.

It hasn't happened to me, but to friends, and to friends of friends. I think when they didn't have it, they had to phone the father at work, or something, and they were delayed and told off by the border control (eventually let through though).

I think some airports, or even just some border officials, are more strict than others. Or maybe they don't ask everyone, but randomly stop people occasionally. You probably won't be asked, but it might be awkward if you were.

DragonWithAGirlTattoo Wed 15-Jul-15 11:16:11

you need permission documentation for South Africa, so avoid there!

(I am assuming you are a 'normal person') I would just go - you are obviously just going for a holiday, you are not a 'flight risk'

He hasn't made the effort to see the DCs since October (by the sounds of it) so i dont think he will care - but would he rty and stop you?

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Wed 15-Jul-15 14:04:34

Yes, we are a normal family...
We are going to France/Belgium for just over a week, to see family.
Normally, he has no interest in me or dcs, so unlikely to try and stop us.
But he does have a mental disorder, so might try and be an idiot if he is "on a downer".
We don't have any residency papers or anything. He simply moved in with a new GF, leaving us to get on with it.
Thanks all.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Wed 15-Jul-15 14:05:48

Hoping the toddler isn't a flight risk... Screaming the place down!
Apart from that, no. Ds loves planes.

Scholes34 Wed 15-Jul-15 14:58:14

When DS2 lost his passport whilst overseas, DH went over to take him to the embassy to get a travel document to get him home. DH had to take a signed letter from me to confirm I consented to the trip.

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