To fall out with everyone over a fridge?(19 Posts)
Hi me again, had a thread up before regarding this.
My mum passed away. From when we decided who gets what I said I wanted her fridge. It reminds me of her and I want it. It's a 1yr old £800 fridge.
Fridge is not listed in the sale of items. It is free standing.
Buyers of the house have asked if they can have the fridge.
My sister, aunt and mum partner have all said they can because they paid over what we were expecting for the house.
How exactly does this make a difference? What so they should get all her furniture because they paid more than we expected?
(They have NOT paid extra for fridge)
The house was listed over than what we expected to get so it makes sense they pay over!
Everyone is telling me "I can just buy the same fridge with the amount of money im getting"
Again how is this relevant? Why should I pay £800 for another fridge when my mum has the model 1yr old and it belong to her, regardless of how much money im getting.
Why should strangers get it?
Everyone telling me I'm being unreasonable. Am I?
The fridge is NOT listed as included in sale it's just the buyers asked if we would mind.
I mind but everyone is pushing me out.
My current fridge is on its last legs
If I recall correctly, your aunt is the executor. If that's the case, I suppose it's ultimately her decision whether they can keep it or not. Did your mom's partner live with her? If so, is he the owner of the fridge? Who gets the proceeds from the sale of the home? If it's you, will you get enough to buy a fridge?
If you said you wanted it, they should let you have it, IMO. However, it seems like the rest of your family does not agree with that, and you're out numbered. I don't think it's worth falling out over.
Another perspective is, you have a sister and your mom had a partner, why should you be allowed to just take the fridge? Why shouldn't you have to buy it, if you see what I mean.
When you say they paid over, I assume the asking price was over the value of the home, and they paid over the asking price, so they paid even more above the value of the home.
Take the fridge from the house and buy an identical one for the buyers?
It's a fridge. Just buy a new fridge or say no they can't have it. Same advice as your earlier fridge thread.
I think you might be a little overemotional about a fridge. It's only 1 year old, not something that has been passed down through your family for generations. Do you think you might be digging your heels in for the sake of things?
Presumably you are getting a payout from the sale of the house? Why not just use some of that money to get yourself a new fridge?
I could understand it if you were talking about a piece of jewellery or something personal that your mum wore but this is a fridge.
Sorry for your loss
Saying it reminds you of your mum is a bit weird, especially when yours is on its last legs. To me it's not about sentimentality rather you wanting to save yourself having to buy a new fridge.
I don't really see how a 1 year old kitchen appliance can have any sentimental value to you so I daresay your family probably feels the same.
I think your family members are choosing to keep the buyers sweet rather than you.
You're grieving. You've decided this is important to you, and that's ok.
If you are due money from the sale of her house buy the buyers a new fridge and you keep the old one.
Try and remember that your family are also grieving and trying to do their best too
It may not have been listed as part of the sale, but has someone verbally agreed they could have it during negotiations? Did they offer more if some items were included?
I m sorry for you loss. But I think you are fixated on this fridge because of your grief. If the fridge is only a year old, it's not something your mum had a long before she sadly passed away. I can't see how you have such an attachmentbto something your mum owned for a better of months.
I also think that since your fridge is on its last legs, you family feel that you just want the fridge so you don't have to buy a new one. Which is kind of how it's coming across. They are keeping the buyers inside who have (I think) paid above the asking price. Usually when people are paying above asking price there is a reason.
Let it go and buy a new fridge. When the sale goes through you will have the money for it.
Why don't you knock £800 off the sale price?
It's just a fridge. Would it be of such sentimental value and remind you of her if your own fridge was a £2000 american style with ice machine that was 3 weeks old and in perfect condition?
If you are saying that you want the fridge because it would be useful to you, that's a fair enough reason. You don't need to try to justify it to them by pretending that a refrigerator is of enormous sentimental value. It doesn't make you a vulture to say actually, mum's fridge would be massively helpful to me if that's ok but pretending to them that the fridge is an important memento that you simply have to have as a keepsake is going to come across badly to them.
When my grandad died, I was allowed to have his fridge and it was really useful. My own was a wreck. If my mum had said no, that would have been the end of it.
I think that you just have to accept that the buyers are getting the fridge and you will have to buy one out of the money you are going to inherit.
Let it go. It's a fridge. It's really not worth arguing with people over white goods when you should be grieving together. Sometimes people who are hurting distract themselves with trivia because they're in pain.
I am very sorry for the loss of your mum. Let the fridge go.
I agree with twinkle.. You're milking the sentiment card to get an £800 fridge!
I'm very sorry for your loss OP.
I agree with Twinkle too. I'm not sure what can be sentimental about a year old fridge. It's ok to want the fridge just because you want a new fridge, but it's also ok for the others to veto it for the sake of the house sale.
Have you thought through the practicalities of removing the fridge and transporting it?
Don't fall out over it.
I can understand why you want it. It's new, cost a lot and therefore good quality plus yours is old.
If you were not getting any money from the will to purchase another fridge and you were hard up I would understand but you are getting some money so I would just let this one go.........
Sorry op but it is just a fridge. Are you really thinking of falling out over an appliance, because that is all it is. Don't be difficult just because.
It sounds to me like you've lost your mum and the world seems unfair - you want your family to pull together and you feel as though they are all against you, whether that's reasonable or not.
The thing is, you are all in the same boat with regard to grieving, you're just approaching it differently - they clearly feel as though it has been a stroke of luck getting more than you expected for the house, so want to keep things as smooth as possible with the buyers. You want to stick to the original agreement as you were the one who stood to benefit from it, whereas it's no skin off their nose whether you have the fridge or the new buyers.
Is part of the problem that you will have to wait some time to get the money for a new fridge? Could you ask for an advance on your share of the sale to buy one now? If it's just that you are frustrated that nobody seems to be listening to you, then I think you need to let it go - they think you are making a fuss over nothing, and although it seems important to you, it simply isn't to them. Cutting off your nose to spite your face just because you feel as though you are in the right (justifiably to some extent IMO) won't really help.
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