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To think about changing daughter's name

(55 Posts)
Liveonce Mon 13-Jul-15 18:33:21

Hi there,

I have a daughter aged 7 who keeps telling me she loves her second Christian name and could she be called that instead. She doesn't mind her first name but isn't overly enthused. It is very unusual.

I love both names but have to admit she really suits her second name.

AIBU to even be thinking about this? Has anyone else gone by their second name and when did you change?

It's probably just a phase but I want to take her views seriously.

Thanks for any thoughts on this.

ADesperateMummy Mon 13-Jul-15 18:34:01

She could just start using it, doesn't need to be changed my deed poll

NoArmaniNoPunani Mon 13-Jul-15 18:35:30

It's a lovely name

goldenhen Mon 13-Jul-15 18:36:02

Just let her go by her middle name if she prefers it and you don't have a problem with it. I have a friend who has used her middle name her whole life, her parents thought they just flowed better in the opposite order. You might have to help manage the transition at school a bit though (unless she's changing schools).

BertrandRussell Mon 13-Jul-15 18:36:09

She can just start using it. No need to do anything formal.

cosmicglittergirl Mon 13-Jul-15 18:36:09

My brother in law goes by his middle name, as did his grandmother. As it is one of her names why not? Give it a go and see how it goes. The only thing might be people going on about it negatively, but you could give them a heads up.

workadurka Mon 13-Jul-15 18:36:19

I wouldn't bother changing it officially, just call her by her middle name and if she wants to be called that by everyone help her tell her friends/school. I know a few people who go by their middle name, but equally this could be a phase. Maybe agree to try it for a month at home before changing it elsewhere?

What is the really unusual name??

WorraLiberty Mon 13-Jul-15 18:37:41

Blimey, I had no idea anyone took this phase that seriously shock grin

Just start calling her by her middle name until she learns to dislike that too (because she probably will).

goldenhen Mon 13-Jul-15 18:37:43

Just like telling the teacher & her friends "oh actually, we always call Vera Deirdre at home, even though that's technically her middle name - she'd prefer that at school too, could you make sure this is amended for the next school year?" etc.

SometimesItRains Mon 13-Jul-15 18:37:58

DM and Her sister both go by their second names and have done since they were about 5 - not sure why though. Maybe you could trial it over the school holidays and if it sticks you can change it at school etc in September.

EmmaWoodlouse Mon 13-Jul-15 18:38:49

Yes, no need to do anything official as it is one of her existing names after all!

Is she just finishing year 2? It seems a good time for a change, if so. Going into KS2 is a naturally quite significant stage in growing up and she could use that as an opportunity to "reinvent" herself. I knew a little boy who did almost the same thing at that age, he went from being called by his first two initials e.g. "CJ" to a short form of his first name e.g. "Charlie".

steff13 Mon 13-Jul-15 18:39:01

I'd let her be called by her middle name if she wants, but not make a legal change. If she wants to do that, she can do it herself as an adult.

oddfodd Mon 13-Jul-15 18:42:27

I know several people who use their middle name. You don't need to do anything.

paulapompom Mon 13-Jul-15 18:48:26

At a school I taught at a girl used her middle name, we had initials as a name, jj, and someone called by their nickname - I Think it's fine x

TestingTestingWonTooFree Mon 13-Jul-15 18:48:52

A friend of mine's son did this aged 7 and is still known by his middle name at 30. Just be grateful she likes one of the names you've given her.

BikeRunSki Mon 13-Jul-15 18:53:39

I know many people who go by their middle name. Some since birth (don't know why their parents didn't just name them the other way round?!), some made the decision to do it, usually when changing school, or going to uni. I bet you know people who use their middle name and you don't even know it.

Marylou2 Mon 13-Jul-15 18:55:50

I am known by my middle name.Doesn't cause any problems at all.Just have to remember to listen out for my real first name if I'm at the doctors or similar.

Lolimax Mon 13-Jul-15 18:59:16

I'm known by my middle name always have been. Officially my first name is used (which confuses me!) but there's no need to change it by deed poll or anything.

BackInTheRealWorld Mon 13-Jul-15 19:02:39

At that age I used to cry and sob to my mum "WHY, WHHHHYYYYYY, WHY DIDNT YOU CALL ME ROBERTA??" because I was so desperate to have Bobby as my nickname.
It wasn't my second name though so I don't really know why I am posting....

Ilovecrapcrafts Mon 13-Jul-15 19:05:20

My bf mum is known by her middle name, so much so my friend only found out it wasn't her mums name when she applied for a passport...

Gunpowder Mon 13-Jul-15 19:07:08

grin @ Back or should I say Bobby? wink

I don't have a middle name. DM said I could pick my own when I was 6 so I decided on Petunia. hmm luckily she never got round to adding it to anything.

ilovesooty Mon 13-Jul-15 19:10:01

My mother has always gone by her middle name.

RichPetunia Mon 13-Jul-15 19:12:24

My Dad and his brothers have all been known by their middle name, and not their first. It hasn't been a problem for any of them?

SusanHollander Mon 13-Jul-15 19:14:01

I use a shortened version of my name that doesn't resemble it in any way at all and is pretty unusual. It basically started out when I was little and my brother couldn't say my name and then it stuck. I knew no different. I thought about changing it as when people realise what my full name is they're always confused but it makes no odds to me now. The only thing for me is when they call my name out in doctors surgeries it takes me a moment to realise it's me they want grin

I'd just call her by her middle name and if she's still using it in five years time and wants to make it official you can.

Liveonce Mon 13-Jul-15 19:16:11

Thank you. Loving reading your comments. NoArmani - joke, yes? Or have I outed myself. Guess I'll never know. shock

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