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To try to prevent my carsick child from being taken on unnecessary long journeys?

(30 Posts)
AmIReadingThisCorrectly Sun 12-Jul-15 20:44:54

I would really appreciate peoples' honesty and also any solutions if you can think of any!

DD (2.5) has recently (within the last few weeks) started getting carsick if she goes on journeys lasting more than about half an hour. I don't think she really knows what's going on because she's just sick without any warning - she can't tell us it's going to happen sad
Anyway, DH has a son from a previous marriage who he collects on a certain day each week and then drives home 2 days later. We have him 3 days each week. Our jobs are totally inflexible when it comes to changing working hours so our days with DSS are always the same.
DH came home today and said that DSS' mum has asked if we can have him for an extra 2 days in a couple of weeks' time as she has a medical appointment, he said yes, this wasn't a problem. However, I'll be working on the day that DH will then be picking DSS up and therefore will need to take DD with him on a 1.5 hour round trip to collect DSS. There's a couple of dogs at DSS' house who she's scared of and DH's ex won't shut them into another room if we're there so having a break out of the car in DH's ex's house isn't an option. I really don't want DD to be taken on a journey which I'm pretty sure will make her sick but DH's ex isn't budging at all and is insisting that DH does the pick-up on the amended day. We don't have anyone who could look after DD if DH went alone to get DSS.
Is it totally U to insist that DH's ex drops DSS off on this occasion? I feel awful and that the situation is forcing DH to put one child above the other but I just really don't want to knowingly cause DD to be sick sad

Artandco Sun 12-Jul-15 20:48:47

Have you given daughter travel sickness tablets?

ouryve Sun 12-Jul-15 20:49:05

Regardless of your DD's carsickness or otherwise, if your DH's ex needs their DS to go to you on a different day from normal, then she should be the one organising the transport, really.

atthelake Sun 12-Jul-15 20:51:10

YADNU!

I was that kid and it's miserable being dragged out in the car and feeling so ill and nauseous.

Tablets never made any difference to me.

Bogeyface Sun 12-Jul-15 20:51:47

Seems a bit rich that she wants a favour but isnt prepared to put herself out regarding the travel.

I think your DH needs to say that its fine for the DSS to come early but that she needs to bring him as he cannot fetch him.

Sure she will kick off but the fact of the matter is that if she needs to attend this appointment she will have to suck it up. Your issue here is not car sickness, but a spineless DH of he wont tell her that its simply not possible to do the journey.

AmIReadingThisCorrectly Sun 12-Jul-15 20:51:58

Art I didn't think they could be taken by children under 6? Even if she could take them I think the ones I've read up on often make children really drowsy, so I'd probably think it's unfair to give them to her apart from totally essential situations...which I'm not sure this is? I am feeling so guilty about even asking this sad

googoodolly Sun 12-Jul-15 20:52:43

Of course DH should go and collect his son! It's unfortunate DD gets carsick though - have you tried those pressure point bands for her wrists? I think the sooner you can deal with it the better - she'll have to go on long journeys eventually, so looking for solutions now is probably ideal.

Artandco Sun 12-Jul-15 20:54:01

No, kwells do a kids travel tablet from 2 years. Mine take for long journeys in the car and sea journeys. I also take adult on on sea journeys and it works very well

Idontseeanydragons Sun 12-Jul-15 20:54:36

I fully sympathise - I was a travel sick child and all 3 of mine have inherited it! It's awful when they're that age because the remedies that I now use for the older ones simply don't work on toddlers.
However it's very hard to restrict travel and I'm not sure that doing it will actually do any good. We haven't restricted any travel with ours and my parents never did. If his ex doesn't usually try it on I would in this case do my best to accommodate her (as it's medical).
Try plenty of fresh air in the car - open window rather than air conditioning - and 5 drops of peppermint oil on a tissue tucked somewhere close by so she can smell it but not touch it - it can settle the stomach nicely.

bobajob Sun 12-Jul-15 20:56:04

If his ex is asking for a favour then she should drop DSS off, or at least some half way.

NeedsAsockamnesty Sun 12-Jul-15 20:56:09

Of course DH should go and collect his son!

Why? The childs mother has changed the day for her convenance why shouldn't she take him to dads?

Artandco Sun 12-Jul-15 20:56:12

Actually I think they might be from 3 or 4 on the packet, but my doctor prescribed them to ours from 2years and said it was fine if from doctor.

sallyst123 Sun 12-Jul-15 20:57:22

If its just a 1 off then I don't think your being unreasonable as your just a worried mom. But maybe your husband could make the journey last a little longer (stop a few times). There are some travel sickness tablets suitable for children she could take, maybe do the journey to coincide with her nap time so she sleeps through it.
My dd1 has servere travel sickness & I don't drive so have to take the bus & the nearest town to me is 1.1/5 hr away so you can imagine how fun that is.
As I said your not being unreasonable cause your just concerned about your child. BUT your husband had 2 children & each 1 is as important as the other. Your dd discomfort can be eased a little while getting her brother.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 12-Jul-15 20:58:25

Of course DH should go and collect his son! Why? The ex needs a favour, DH and OP are happy to oblige, it's a bit difficult for them to do the driving, why shouldn't the ex do it? Life would be so much fucking easier if people weren't difficult.

Great that people are giving tips on how to sort out the sickness but ultimately, why can't the ex drop off?

HoneyLemon Sun 12-Jul-15 20:58:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SisterMoonshine Sun 12-Jul-15 21:00:18

Can he pick him up late at night/really early a.m. so that she doesn't have to go, and the son sleep in the car.

WayneRooneysHair Sun 12-Jul-15 21:04:05

YANBU but the ex should sort transport.

SweepTheHalls Sun 12-Jul-15 21:06:39

Just a tip for a travel sick child try the car seat in the middle seat. It makes a huge difference for my son

AmIReadingThisCorrectly Sun 12-Jul-15 21:07:40

No flexibility on times sister and sally, so can't make it late at night/early morning or at DD's nap time. Ex is saying that DSS needs to be picked up on the morning of her appointment. DH is going to get back to her to say that yes he can have his DS for extra days but that we cannot do the pick up at that exact time. He's going to give the choice of either picking him up at a different time where he doesn't have to take DD or ex needs to drop him off if she wants to stick to the time she's stating.
Thank you for all the tips on how to help the carsickness too, they are much appreciated. Hopefully we can make DD a bit more comfortable in the car without resorting to medication but good to know that may also be an option.

Missrubyring Sun 12-Jul-15 21:07:52

I used to be that child with car sickness and it made me miserable.
I now have a Dd(3) is the same and can't communicate when she's feeling sick, the results of which have been pretty nasty, so I always avoid unnecessary journeys as I know how miserable she must feel. YANBU in not wanting your DD put through that, is there any relative or anyone who can have her while your DH picks his DS up??

PaulineFossil Sun 12-Jul-15 21:08:41

I was very car sick as a child and it is miserable. Ifthiswasa regular thing I would definitely say no to it. As a one-off for a medical appointment, I'd do it but explain the situation to your dh's ex and ask that the dogs be put somewhere so that your dd can have a break? Time out of the car really does make a difference. Also lots of fresh air and comfy, cool clothes.

Missrubyring Sun 12-Jul-15 21:08:53

Sorry cross posted. Glad your DH is being reasonable.

AmIReadingThisCorrectly Sun 12-Jul-15 21:09:01

No missruby there isn't otherwise I'd have asked them to help us out sad

AmIReadingThisCorrectly Sun 12-Jul-15 21:10:02

Oops now I've cross posted!

optimistmum Sun 12-Jul-15 21:18:07

I had travel sickness as a child and still gave it now! Personally I find I am much worse if I have an empty stomach. If the journey is unavoidable then I suggest some toast or similar before she leaves home and some breadsticks/rice cakes before the journey back.

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