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Snobby friend

(22 Posts)
capulette Sun 12-Jul-15 15:10:03

My friend is lovely but such a snob.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 12-Jul-15 15:11:00

And........?

Sleepybunny Sun 12-Jul-15 15:11:40

Kill her

Sleepybunny Sun 12-Jul-15 15:12:00

...next!

PeppaWellington Sun 12-Jul-15 15:14:39

I used to be friends with a snob.

Teabagbeforemilk Sun 12-Jul-15 15:15:28

I once got called a snob....because I wore a suit to work. Not entirely sure the person knew what a snob was!

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 12-Jul-15 15:16:07

What's your AIBU?

Bullshitbingo Sun 12-Jul-15 15:17:04

Ooh, examples please. Loads of my friends are snobs. Doesn't bother me as long as they're not out beating up homeless people in their free time smile

capulette Sun 12-Jul-15 15:20:15

Sorry pressed post by mistake!

She is actually a lovely person, but has been sheltered (private school and high earning spouse) and pulls faces when we go aomewhere deprived and makes comments about people's looks and the sort of shops.

Wibu to tell her off a bit - nicely?

AreYouThinkingWhatImThinking Sun 12-Jul-15 15:20:44

I had a friend like that... I stopped being friends with her when she referred to me as "council scum" because I rented a council house and she had a mortgage.

She was in a lot of debt for her snobbery and 'keeping up appearances'... I wasn't.

She was jealous as a result of my lack of debt, and my council house being nicer and bigger than her pokey crumbling little mortgaged house so would belittle me about my council tenancy, or non-designer clothes, to make me feel shit about myself.

I no longer rent from the council as I can now afford to rent private while I save for a mortgage. She got her house repossessed.

Snobbery gets you nowhere in life. Ditch the bitch!

PeppaWellington Sun 12-Jul-15 15:31:17

Teabag it depends on what your job is - if you're a gardener, they might have a point.

My old bastardy aunt once had a cat's bum face over a new housing development, which included housing for vulnerable adults with learning disabilities.

"Well we don't want that sort around here," she said.

Before I left, I might have spilt milk on the sofa and not told her.

PeppaWellington Sun 12-Jul-15 15:34:34

OP -yes, tell her off a bit nicely.

It's not big, clever, mature, kind, normal, intelligent or human to mock, disparage, be negative or express disgust at other people because of their income bracket.

or do what i did and dump the lump.

bringbacksideburns Sun 12-Jul-15 15:42:38

I'd tell her off. But not nicely. Yes she sounds like a real peach. Can see why you're friends with someone who because she's had advantages throughout her life has no empathy or consideration for those who haven't. Those are the people I just gravitate towards!

SpendSpendSpend Sun 12-Jul-15 15:43:49

I ve been called a snob a fair few times just because i like to buy nice things.

Im not a snob at all. Most of my family live on benefits and i dont look my nose down at them.

They look their nose down at me though because i dont like aldi, charity shops, carboot sale etc.

capulette Sun 12-Jul-15 15:47:08

The problem is that she isn't a bitch at all - she is very kind.

I think when we go to areas in a low socioeconomic bracket she treats it like a day out to the zoo.

I suggested volunteering at a food bank and she just about wet herself with excitement.

Bullshitbingo Sun 12-Jul-15 15:47:40

It does sound like she's just a bit naive rather than malicious. If she's not been exposed to much, and is just spouting what she's been brought up with, maybe a few gentle comments correcting her wouldn't go amiss?
I have friends who would look down their noses at certain things, I just find responding with cheery enthusiasm makes them think twice. E.g.
'Urgh, primark is so nasty, I never shop in there it's just full of chavs and all the clothes are really poorly made. I love getting my clothes from...<insert name of wanky expensive high st brand like ted baker or all saints>'
I say:
'Ooh but I loooove primark, so many bargains. That green top I wore last week that you said you liked was a primarni special. And I love a bit of people watching when I'm shopping, you get all sorts in there, it's one of my fave shops' followed by big smile.
If they're a total arsehole they'll carry on deriding what you've just said is your fave shop, if not, they'll say, 'oh right, that green top? Maybe I'll have a look in there next time'. Doesn't always work, but most people are just stuck in their ways and need someone to shake them out of it, they don't mean to be snobs. If they're snobby and proud, that's fine too, but at least they know where you stand and that you're not going to agree with everything they say.

Teabagbeforemilk Sun 12-Jul-15 15:48:20

Teabag it depends on what your job is - if you're a gardener, they might have a point.

That made me snort with laughter. Maybe she thought I was gardener. It was another mum at dds school. Everyone just kind of stared at her an I said 'oh thanks?'

I did actually work in an office though.

capulette Sun 12-Jul-15 16:03:08

She is naive and sheltered in some ways.

violator Sun 12-Jul-15 17:43:58

Reverse snobbery is just as bad, if not worse.

Sighing Sun 12-Jul-15 17:51:47

She can be as sheltered as an orchid. Still should have been taught manners.

plutonimum Sun 12-Jul-15 18:35:29

My mother can be a bit like this. I generally try to shut the conversation down or, if possible remind her quietly that people can hear her.

SugarOnTop Sun 12-Jul-15 19:07:28

tell her to get her head out of her arse and learn some compassion. i bet her being 'nice' is conditional on the other person being up to her standards of 'acceptable'!

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