To ask if you've ever experienced a house get out of control

[atthelake]

That gives a weird image of a tantrumming house but the truth isn't so funny.

House is disgusting. Repulsive, awful, dirty. I just can't seem to manage it. I used to be able to. Now I'm struggling so much.

I'm talking washing up on the dirty sofa and piles of dirty clothes and crisps trodden in carpet upstairs and bathroom full of clothes and cat wee (thanks cat) and empty bottles and half full bottles of drinks and tin openers in lounge and cobwebs and muck and dirt.

Am i trying to have my child taken off me or something? :)

I semi confided in a friend yesterday who said she had found it hard until she went on ADs.

Is this the answer? When I've taken them in the past I just felt flat but maybe I didn't try the right ones or for long enough.

It's getting me down, it's getting everybody down but it's as if I cant. Sometimes I make some vague attempt to clear some rubble but it barely makes a dent.

[formerbabe]

How old are your children op? Do you have someone who could look after them while you sort your place a bit?

How about right now you grab an empty bin bag. Go from room to room and put any actual rubbish/garbage in it. That would be an easyish start.

If you do feel depressed, definitely go to the gp though.

[EponasWildDaughter]

Yes to the above, see GP in case of depression. Lethargy is caused by allsorts of medical conditions.

My advice in the meantime would be to tackle the ''worst first''. Get your bathroom tidy, clean up the cat wee - cheap disinfectant will get rid off the smell. Gather up the dirty clothes off the floor and bung them in a basket or storage box. Stick a few wash loads on now. Do you have a garden with a line to hang your washing on? If so get it out there to dry while you crack on with the walk round the house with some bin bags. Fill them up with all the actual rubbish/bits of large food.

Then you can hoover and that will look a million times better already.

Get everyone old enough in the house on board with chucking rubbish in the bins and clothes in the laundry basket.

Maybe aim for doing the kitchen - sink, work tops and floor tomorrow.

You can do it OP :)

[DancingDays]

Living as you are can't go on, I think you realise that. Do you know why it has got so bad? You need to focus on why first. If it is depression you need GPs help.

Depression stopped me focusing on the house for a while but it's not as hard as it seems to get back on track once your are working on the depression.

Cleaning wise start with the kitchen. Clean the sink then stop and look at what you have achieved. Everything starts with that. You will feel a lot better and life will be easier once the kitchen is clean. Then go in each room with a bin bag and a carrier bag. rubbish goes in the bin bag, random misplaced stuff goes in the carrier. its amazing what a difference it makes after doing that.

[Chchchchangeabout]

This is a great website for taking back control: www.flylady.net

[TheoriginalLEM]

Gosh - are you me??? Eitehr that or we are living in each others houses in parrallel universes. Its soul destroying isn't it.

Ive tried the "one room at a time" i've tried decluttering, ive tried everything, it doesn't seem to matter, there is shite everywhere.

I do think the key is to stop beating yourself up about it.

I don't think the answer is ADs either, i am on ADs and the last thing they do is motivate me to get and sort out the mess.

I honestly cannot understand how people live in tidy houses, like, how do they do it???

[MsAspreyDiamonds]

Give each child a bin bag to Chuck rubbish that's in their own rooms. Ditto dirty crockery to be put in the sink. Get them to move their belongings from the communal areas into their own rooms.

Then get them to pick up dirty clothes off their bedroom floor and put it in the Washing basket.

Encourage them to fold clean clothes into drawers/cupboards.

Getting the kids on board is half the battle. You can then get on with communal areas.

Open all Windows & back door to let in fresh air. Throw some bleach down the loo and sinks and baking powder or talcum powder on carpets before vaccuming it up. It helps absorb bad odours apparently. It all helps psychogically to think you are making progress! And you will, just baby steps at a time.

[flanjabelle]

Just get a bin bag and start chucking it out. Chuck out as much as you possibly can. Then look at what is left.

Put a sink of hot soapy water in the sink and chuck as much as you can into it to soak. Pile up the rest next to the sink.

Get things into the right rooms.

Depending on age of dc, buy massive storage boxes to Chuck toys into. Bung them all in so the floor is clear.

Put Hoover round.

Clean everything with soapy hot water in a big bucket. Just go round everywhere.

Done.

[DoesItReallyMatter]

I used to work in a job where I saw houses that had got out of control. I don't think it's unusual.

How old are your kids? Can you get someone to babysit while you have a clear out?

It sounds like you could make a difference by having a big throw out of rubbish. How about wandering around and throwing out any rubbish or any junk that you won't be using in future. Then make a start on the kitchen. It's always hard to start but you might find it ok once you can see it making a difference.

If you are feeling depressed it MIGHT make you feel better if the house is more organised and 'calmer'. Don't aim for perfect though - you need to be realistic. Cat pee and old food wrappers is not ok. You will get flies and it's bad for the kids.

Try and make a start this morning. Have some breakfast if you haven't already then try and do a couple of hours. Put some relaxing music on or turn the radio on and listen to a chat show while you work. Let us know how you get on.

Good luck.

[flanjabelle]

Oh and Hoover the sofa too. Get the brush attachment and go mad on it.

[listsandbudgets]

I've been there OP and more than once :(

As someonne said clean the sink and clear and clean the draining board. Then fill it with hot soapy water and gather all the washing up and put what you can in to soak. Stack the rest beside the sink (if you have a dishwasher forget the sink but load everything that will fit in it and set it running)

While washing up soaking go round with a bin bag and collect anything that can be binned and bin it. Be ruthless... put bin bag outside in bin

Gather washing from all over house and put a load on and rest in laundry.

Put kettle on and finish off washing up while it boils -- leave it to drain.

Now make a cuppa, have a biscuit and sit down. You'll find things look a lot better even for just those few jobs.

[atthelake]

Thanks :)

Formerbabe - DD is only 1. I've tried the bin bag thing oh, so many times - it just doesn't seem to make any discernible difference

Epona - it's sort of like above, I spend my life washing but it just keeps on. I just don't seem capable at the moment.

Dancing I just don't know why - it was slowly sliding and just got worse and worse. We were without a table for a while and got used to eating in the lounge and it got messy and dirty. I think that was one of the problems.

Theoriginal - you are me I think. I've tried the bin bag, one room at a time, everything online - it's like it's that greek monster that grows another head when you cut it down.

Asprey DD is too young to help but honestly the bleach and the washing and the rubbish and the house still looks AWFUL

flanja I can take 3 bin bags out and it's still a tip.

DoesIt I don't think its just the kids, even contained in the garden I can't seem to cope. It makes me feel rubbish.

[ihavenonameonhere]

I was going to recommend fly lady too.

Also if you can afford it get someone in for a spring clean. Made a massive difference to me and forced me to get on top of stuff too before they came to do it

[RedCrayons]

Can you get someone to come round a give you a hand? My mum would be round like a shot with a bucket of bleach if I told her what you said in your OP.

Set yourself a target for today. Something small and achievable.
One bin bag of rubbish collected and put out
All dirty cups and plates into the kitchen.
Mop the bathroom floor.
All dirty clothes picked up and put into the washing basket (or bin bags if you dont have any).

Just do one thing today. Then do that again tomorrow and add one more thing. Etc etc.

How old are the DCs? Give them all a job to do.

[ClaimedByMe]

This sounds like my house too excluding the cat wee as I ripped up the cat wee carpet the other day and just now have floor boards!

I do feel like I'm always chasing my tail! I have a dishwasher but there is always dishes everywhere, the carpets or floorboards always need hoovering and there is always piles of clean/dirty washing lying about!

[atthelake]

Ihave and redcrayon - I'd be utterly mortified, horrified, for anyone to see this house as it is now, I'm even embarrassed on here.

Claimed me too. In between posting on here I have actually cleaned the toilet ugh skidmarks and cleared some rubble - empty drinks bottles mainly and the remains of some chips last night but I lose focus/concentration halfway through.

[EponasWildDaughter]

OP i know how you feel about it keeping on and keeping on. (especially the bloody laundry).

I have a DH (builder), 3 grown up kids and a baby, and me!, in the house and i have to do 2 or 3 big wash loads every day If i skip a day (lazy sunday or whatever) i regret it the next day as it piles high!

(I know a lot of you are thinking 'let them do their bloody own' - but that's beside the point of the OP's thread here)

What i'm saying is ... sadly it IS a continuous thing. I do the same darn jobs every day. Picking stuff up, laundry, wipe the kitchen, wash up, clean the loos, make the beds bla bla bla. I make my bed before i come downstairs and i work towards the kitchen with house work. Living room looking half decent then do kitchen. Once over with the hoover every day.

It is a daily grind. I don't enjoy it but i do it for my own sanity. It's me in the house the most and i want to enjoy it, not look at a mess. I do it for me. (sounds pathetic) :)

Get a daily routine going and the house will look fine by mid morning most days. Even with kids to look after.

[atthelake]

Yes, it is the routine that's gone, I think. At the moment I think the difficulty is getting it all to the place where there CAN be a routine if you see what I mean!

[KindergartenKop]

I would beg a friend to take dd for an afternoon and then blitz the living room. Once you've got one room sorted you'll feel much better!

[Ouchbloodyouch]

Im another who has experienced a house out of control. Is there any way you can pay someone to come in and help? I appreciate its not always an option.

[atthelake]

Thank you but when I've arranged this before I've spent fifteen minutes clearing some clutter then mucked about online or slept

[atthelake]

Ouch, I would like a shot but it's the clutter and crap on top of the filth - if I could get rid of that I'd be ok.

[MamaLazarou]

Do you have a partner/best friend/siblings who could muck in and help? You just need help getting on top of it, to make it easier to manage day-to-day.

[greenhill]

When the house looks like a bomb site: set a kitchen timer (or your phone alarm) for 15 minutes and whizz around collecting dirty plates, apple cores, crisp packets etc and then sit down for a cup of tea, setting the alarm to go off again in 15 minutes, so wash up, rest, gather clothes, rest, put the washing machine on etc, doing it in 15 minute bursts mean that you don't feel overwhelmed by it.

You can put bleach down the toilet, wipe some bathroom surfaces and clear the floor in 15 minutes, then once the floors have some empty spaces the Hoover can go round. Then rest. Then go to another room and repeat. Make sure you rest in between bursts of activity and you won't peak too soon.

Good luck.

[atthelake]

Greenhill honestly I have been trying to do that all morning and it helps to a point but by the time I've done it all the first bit of the house is a tip again.

Some people have such gorgeously clean homes - HOW?

Mama seriously I would not let anyone over the threshold. Theyd report me to SS; I'd report me to SS.

[drudgetrudy]

Do you actually think you are depressed OP? Why do you think ADs would help?

Small steps will eventually have an effect and the advice other posters have given you is good.
When you had time on your own what was it that stopped you getting on with it and led to you spending time on-line after 15 minutes?