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AIBU?

In telling my Sister she needs to confiscate this

66 replies

RachelRagged · 12/07/2015 09:41

Hi

My Sister has 3 DCs, DS1, 13, DS2, 10 and a DD who is 9.

Whilst sorting out uniforms for washing yesterday i the blazer of DS1 she found a small pocket knife ! The blade comes out (little ridge to get that out) She has no idea where or how he got it as she has never seen it before i her life.

Now she is dithering about whether to call him out on it, leave it or take it out of blazer which she has to be honest and see if he reacts at all come morning when he will leave for school . The boy is somewhat erratic at times and I am actually afraid he may use it . I don't want to nag at her, our Mother does a good enough job of that one (posted a thread on that subject alone) but I also do not want to see anybody injured or my DN arrested etc.

Please help .

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Report

RachelRagged · 12/07/2015 09:42

Apologies for typos , sometimes keys get bit stuck

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Hassled · 12/07/2015 09:44

Well if the knife was found on him at school he'd probably (definitely?) be looking at an exclusion. She needs to call him on it - not least because he could well have it as self-protection - it's possible he's being bullied/threatened. But she has to spell out how unacceptable possession of a knife is.

Lolimax · 12/07/2015 09:45

I'd take it out and tell him I'd found it and that if I'd ever found anything like that that ever again I'd be going to the school to take further advice. I'd also use the opportunity to find out if there's any bullying/gang stuff going on.

LIZS · 12/07/2015 09:45

Agree, also she needs to find out how he got it. Selling blades to under 16s is illegal and can be reported to Trading Standards.

Ohfourfoxache · 12/07/2015 09:45

Christ of course she needs to confiscate this! And if it's in his school blazer I'd be bloody worried that others in school have them - not only do knives "spread" (once one has one, others will copy and carry one too) but he'll just carry another one. She doesn't know how he got this, so presumably he can get another.

MamaLazarou · 12/07/2015 09:55

Nothing wrong with him having a penknife but he definitely shouldn't be taking it to school.

RachelRagged · 12/07/2015 09:58

So the school should be told as well ,? I agree as hadn't thought of the fact that others in school may have them . DN did go through a spell of being bulied but that was Year 8 .

Yes any shop that sold him it should be reported as well (so agree with that poster) .

Taking notes to relay to Sis. She is not giving it back, just text her re that and is calling him out on it when he rises from his bed.

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JeanSeberg · 12/07/2015 09:59

It's hardly a penknife!

RachelRagged · 12/07/2015 10:00

She text again .

Its small, and has a link on so a keyring one maybe ? I need to pop out but will look in again on return . .Thanks for advice so far ,, all good

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WineIsMyMainVice · 12/07/2015 10:06

I think that your sister needs to have a serious conversation with him about what he is using it for. Worrying, but it could be a self harming problem?
Or there could be a perfectly innocent explanation - an art class maybe? I think questions need to be asked before she goes off on one!
Hope it all works out.

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 12/07/2015 10:07

Why is it "hardly a penknife" Jean? It sounds just like one to me.

When I was a kid in the sixties/seventies, everyone had a oen knife. I had a sheath knife too in my teams because we used to play in the woods and make dens and fires and things.

I wouldn't think anything of a boy carrying a knife, but its probably best not taken to school in this ridiculously paranoid world we live in today

stairbears · 12/07/2015 10:15

If the school discovered he had it on his person, and it wasn't for the purpose of any craft / work activity, they may have been duty-bound to call the police. It's illegal to have a 'pointed and bladed' article in public...

stairbears · 12/07/2015 10:20

Though it seems folded pocket knives with blades of less than 3" may be lawfully carried in public...

KneeQuestion · 12/07/2015 10:21

To legally carry a pen knife, you must be 16 yrs old.

It must be a non locking blade, that is under either 3 or 3.5 inches [not sure on that]

Yes it should confiscated and yes she needs to find out why he has it, there could be something going on.

I think most schools would consider this something that would lead to an exclusion.

workadurka · 12/07/2015 10:21

I would advise your sister doesn't go spare at him, just stay calm and let him do the talking.

ValancyJane · 12/07/2015 10:22

In our school if they found it he would be excluded for a week - blades have no place in a school. YANBU, and she needs to talk to him about this.

BrianButterfield · 12/07/2015 10:24

You could quite possibly get permanently excluded for bringing a knife to school. It's taken very seriously.

RachelRagged · 12/07/2015 10:37

Yes it is small, I have got a photo of it she sent (will attempt to upload), the whole thing is not much bigger than my sisters index finger . Self Harm , No he doesn't tend to do that unless it is somewhere unseen (DN walks around in hot weather in his boxers , no marks seen) .

I wonder if he wants to be permenantly excluded BrianButterfield . He, like my own DS, don't much like school It is the kind of thing I would not put past DN or my DS come to think of it . Way to get kicked out ,

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afterthought2 · 12/07/2015 11:00

If it was found on him in school it is highly likely he would end up permanently excluded. The school may also wish to involve the police.

In addition, those who carry knives are more likely to be stabbed. I always wondered about this one but apparently it is because if they get into a confrontational situation, they pull it out thinking it will protect them. The more experienced youth then grabs it off them and stabs them.

She needs to find out why he had it - is he trying to protect himself from something? If so that something needs dealing with. If it is for craft purposes, he needs to know not to be tempted to use it in self defence for the reason above. I sometimes carry a pen knife (Guides, DofE etc) but would never get it out if someone started on me!

YeOldTrout · 12/07/2015 11:22

Can't have it in school, even a pen knife is a huge disciplinary offence. Need to ask if there's a reason why he specifically wants it in school.

Teabagbeforemilk · 12/07/2015 11:26

She must deal with this. If she just removes it, he may thing he has simply lost it and purchase another. Can you imagine if he actually tries to use it or does use it against a teacher or student?

And she knew he had, had one before?

I would be horrified if i found a knife on dd, who was so badly bullied the police had to caution the bully.

RachelRagged · 12/07/2015 11:41

Can update now ,, , well a bit.

DN got out his pit , ,washed, pulled on some clothes and came downstairs. DS let him have his breakfast , ,then placed said knife next to him . He went red.
On questioning he mumbled a few things including "Not Mine". DS said so somebody planted it on you did they DS? .. No, he said . Upshot is that after punching a door he has left the house .. No phone with him , nothing . DS is now wondering where he has gone .

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RachelRagged · 12/07/2015 11:41

However he did go out minus the knife

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Teabagbeforemilk · 12/07/2015 11:42

What about if he uses it on one of his brothers?

Does he storm out alot? Is she worried?

RachelRagged · 12/07/2015 11:42

Teabagbeforemilk

No, there was no incident like this before .. This is the first time my DS has found anything like this in his clothing before.

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