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AIBU?

To take my aunt to court over inheritance?

34 replies

Pinkabell · 11/07/2015 23:42

Didn't know how to word the title but this is the issue.
My aunt and my mums partner have been listed as the executors of mums will.
Everything has been left to her 4 children.
My mum has a box of jewels/gold.
My mums partner has said to leave the jewels to us 3 girls since my brother will not have use of it.
My aunt has said well maybe he wants to sell it.

We are already getting enough money, all my brother will do is sell it when he has used up all his inheritance on drugs
Us 3 girls will NEVER sell my mums jewels, ever!

I have told my aunt what I want from the jewels. My two sisters agreed I can have it yet aunt is saying maybe brother will want it to give to his 'future wife'
Aunt is saying she wants us all to sit down and divide the jewels.

Me and my sisters want NOTHING to do with my brother. He is a drug addicted sex offender. we don't even want to be in the same room as him even to divide the jewels.

We are happy to take our bits and equally share and give him bits but we don't want to be around him.

My aunt is really annoying me.
Not only about the jewels she has taken PRIVATE family photos from the house saying 'some external family members may want copies'

There are pictures of me in there I don't want anyone to see plus of my dad and my two sisters who both agree these photos are PRIVATE

(Brother is very obnoxious and will say he wants things we want just because we want nothing to do with him. I can see it happening before it has even happened.)
AIBU?

OP posts:
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Lweji · 11/07/2015 23:47

Can you offer to buy the jewels from your brother, via your aunt or you mother's partner.

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IamTheWhoreofBabylon · 11/07/2015 23:49

Your opinion of your brother is not relevant
Your mother has left him an equal share

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Shakirasma · 11/07/2015 23:50

I'm sorry for your loss OP and I fully u der stand why you don't want DB to have your mums jewels and gold.

But YABU because you don't get to choose if he gets them or not, a quarter of them legally belong to him and your aunt is absolutely right as execututor to try and find a way to divide them fairly.

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TTWK · 11/07/2015 23:50

Your brother is entitled to 25% of the jewellery/gold and your aunt is quite right to insist he gets it. If he ends up selling it and injecting the proceeds into his arm, well that's something your mother should have thought about when she made her will. Unfortunately.

As for the photos, they too belong to you and your 3 siblings. The executor has no right to take these and have copies made without the consent of the owners, so she is wrong on that front.

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Dothetwist · 11/07/2015 23:51

Your brother has an equal share in the eyes of the law.

Your aunt does seem to be making matters more difficult than necessary, is there anyone in the family or a friend who could mediate?

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sweetgrape · 11/07/2015 23:53

Very annoying and why should his wife have any of the jewels. Sorry but I don't see what you can do about it.

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LittleBearPad · 11/07/2015 23:53

Your brother is entitled to 25% of the estate this includes the jewellery or 25% of its equivalent value.

You can't take your aunt to court. She's behaving properly. Although not about the photos although as she's getting copies you haven't lost these.

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Getthewonderwebout · 11/07/2015 23:57

Totally get where you're coming from OP, but in the interests of fairness and honouring your mum's intentions to treat all her children equally, I think you ought to leave this with your aunt to sort.

I don't think you are being unreasonable but in this sad situation its something you need to move forward from and accept.

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notapizzaeater · 11/07/2015 23:59

Must be heartbreaking thinking he will just sell them but there is nothing stopping you buying them from him.

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nancy75 · 12/07/2015 00:03

Why not get the jewellery valued, you and sisters get some money plus jewellery, brother gets cash, but with the added value of the jewellery. Easier for him as he doesn't have to sell them

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wanttosqueezeyou · 12/07/2015 00:03

Taking photos (or anything from the house) that don't belong to her? Surely not your mum's intention and sounds like an abuse of her 'power'. What a liberty!

Jewellery stuff sounds technically correct.

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SavoyCabbage · 12/07/2015 00:04

I would buy some jewellery from a second hand place and I would give him that.

And I would keep a portion of the jewellery back for him to have if he ever gets himself in a position where he might want and value it as something that belonged to his mother.

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AbbyCadabra · 12/07/2015 00:11

Savoy, that would illegal, surely? The executor is to ensure that the terms of the will are honoured. It was his mother's decision to leave him a quarter of her estate, however unfair someone else finds it.

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lastnightiwenttomanderley · 12/07/2015 00:31

Does the will state 25% of your mums jewellery or 25% if her estate? If the latter, then presume as long as he gets possessions or property worth 25% then its all fair? Doesn't need to be a specific it's unless listed?

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Collaborate · 12/07/2015 00:39

I can see why now why your mum appointed who she did as executors. She wanted someone who could be trusted to administer her will in accordance with her instructions. Your aunt is doing just that. Good on her.

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Apatite1 · 12/07/2015 00:52

If the jewellery is of any value, it should be itemised within the will. In which case, the brother will have such and such pieces bequeathed to him. OP if that's what your mother wanted, then surely the right thing to do is respect her wishes. Parents are often blind to the faults of their broken winged children and will treat them as well as or even better than their more able children. Your mother was of sound mind and and decided to treat your brother equally.

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zoe146 · 12/07/2015 01:05

See if he will take cash value as an alternative, if you believe your aunt is behaving improperly, get a solicitor and petition the court.

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LaLyra · 12/07/2015 01:15

Your Aunt HAS to give your brother his share of everything otherwise your brother could take her to court and she will personally be responsible to pay him whatever he's lost out on.

Instead of sitting down and dividing out the jewels then your Aunt could provide you with a full list. Then you can mark which items you would like by order of choice and then they could be split fairly that way. That's what happened with my Aunt's jewellery when she died unexpectedly.

She can't just go with what you, your sisters and you mothers partner wishes. She has to follow the will.

She shouldn't have taken the photographs unless it is for safe keeping. They don't belong to her.

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Aussiemum78 · 12/07/2015 01:33

I think she is acting fairly according to the will, but I agree the best solution is for your sisters to buy the jewellery from your brother.

Also, photos also include photos of your aunts family and extended family. Its her family history too, not really an "asset". It's not unreasonable to copy and share sentimental things like photos to ensure they are shared fairly.

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ShanghaiDiva · 12/07/2015 01:45

Your aunt is fulfilling her role as the executrix and you brother should receive 25% of the jewellery. There is no point in taking her to court- she is doing nothing wrong.
Ideally all it's should be valued to enable each beneficiary to receive an equal monetary share. You could then purchase your brother's share should he decide to sell. Your aunt could liaise with your brother and no need for you to have any contact. Some of the suggestions on here are bizarre, it's not up to the beneficiaries to decide who deserves what!

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PurpleSwift · 12/07/2015 02:00

Get it all valued and buy him out. He has an equal, legal share in it. If you have plenty of inheritance money it should be an issue

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PurpleSwift · 12/07/2015 02:00

Shouldn't

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Teabagbeforemilk · 12/07/2015 06:51

He either gets his share or the money equivalent. He history and crimes do not effect this. Tray and buy him out through your aunt.

As she name her partner and your aunt as executors, what does the partner say.

I can only assume you mother named your aunt to ensure your brother did get his share.

Not entirely sure about the photos. She hasn't removed them to keep. Not sure where the legal line on that is tbh

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BoyScout · 12/07/2015 07:39

All the PP are correct, your aunt is behaving properly.

If she's just taken the photos to make copies, I don't see the problem though it would be nice if she'd checked with you all first. What's private about a photo? Your mum was her family too.

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Anon4Now2015 · 12/07/2015 08:19

YABU about the jewellery. Your mum left 25% of it to your brother. Whether you or your sisters want him to have it is completely irrelevant. Why don't you ask her to do two things. Firstly to get the entire collection valued. Secondly ask each of you and your siblings whether there are any specific pieces you would each like (up to 25% of the total value).This could be done without any of you knowing what the others have listed. If there aren't any specific pieces your brother would like you and your sisters could give him his 25% in cash. As I understand it (and I may be wrong) technically if there is disagreement over individual items your aunt can sell the lot and then just split the money, so if you have specific items you want I suggest you don't make this already difficult job even harder for her.

I know other people have said she can't have the photos copied but I think it depends on the circumstances. When my

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