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Lesbian Auntie Wedding

(80 Posts)
Janeymoo50 Sat 11-Jul-15 22:27:19 I have you're attention probably. I am gay. 50 years old. Female. I finally met the love of my life last year, planning wedding for next May. My darling niece has two little girls, I want them to be flower niece is delighted. How do we "explain" a gay wedding to 5 year olds???

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers Sat 11-Jul-15 22:30:04

What is there to explain?

'Aunty Jane is getting married to X, she would like you to be her flower girl'.

Congratulations smile

BiscuitMillionaire Sat 11-Jul-15 22:30:24

Congratulations! I don't think it's at all difficult at that age, as they often just accept whatever you tell them. I would just say, 'you know that men and ladies can get married, well did you know that ladies can marry ladies too (and men marry men)?' Then focus on them having special things to do in a special costume and they'll be over the moon.

Backforthis Sat 11-Jul-15 22:30:36

How do you explain any wedding to 5 year olds?? Great Aunt JaneyMoo is getting married. Yes, you're going to be a flower girl. No, you can't wear your Elsa dress grin


GrumpyOldBiddy2 Sat 11-Jul-15 22:31:27

'Aunty Janeymoo is getting married to Aunty X, and they would love for you to be flower girls.'

If nieces question it:

'no, ladies can marry each other too if they love each other very much'

I really don't think it will be an issue, it wasn't when DSS bought his partner home to us when our kids were about that age.

And most importantly - congratulations wine

ebwy Sat 11-Jul-15 22:31:30

Same way as a straight wedding, surely?

"I love X very much, and she loves me so we're going to get married, which is when we make a promise to love and look after each other for ever"

firefly78 Sat 11-Jul-15 22:31:37

my kids know that women can marry women, men can marry women and men can marry men. all that matters is thay yiu love each other. kids are very accepting.

and congratulations!!

HoldYerWhist Sat 11-Jul-15 22:31:48

Explain? Don't! As in, don't say anything different to what you would say if you were marrying a man.

Sleepyhoglet Sat 11-Jul-15 22:31:54

Do you need to? I mean being gay has been acceptable pretty much their whole lifetime (in the sense that civil partnerships have been round as long etc) so would they even question it. Their mum just tells them that your aunt has met someone she's falls in love with and they are commiting to be together through sickness and health/ rich and poor etc. Focus on explaining marriage rather than explaining why it is two woman.

HoldYerWhist Sat 11-Jul-15 22:32:12

Oh and congratulations! flowers

GrumpyOldBiddy2 Sat 11-Jul-15 22:32:15

cross posted!

Andorover Sat 11-Jul-15 22:32:23

Just say that you and your partner are having a special party to celebrate loving each other and wanting to be together forever. What else is it? Congratulations!

Diamondjoan Sat 11-Jul-15 22:33:31

Congrats on finding the one.
Just ask them and see what questions pop up over time.

spicyfajitas Sat 11-Jul-15 22:34:13

Congratulations .I don't think there's anything to explain. You both love each other and are getting married. Hurrah.

Getthewonderwebout Sat 11-Jul-15 22:37:03

You don't need to explain. A wedding is a wedding is a wedding. The minute you feel an explanation is needed, I personally think you open up a conversation of difference. Hopefully young children are brought up now that when you love eachother you may wish to get married, and male/female isn't even a consideration.

BornToFolk Sat 11-Jul-15 22:39:23

My sister is marrying a lovely woman this year. They met when DS was 4.5 (he's now 7.5) There wasn't much explanation needed really. My sister's girlfriend was introduced as just that and he accepted her totally.

I did have a bit of a talk with him about adult relationships in general at the time as it coincided with me breaking up with his dad who was seeing someone else...anyway, I wanted him to understand about what it means to have boyfriends/girlfriends, marriage, break ups etc

We had another chat recently when gay marriage was legalised in Ireland and he thought that was a great thing as it made things fair for everyone. grin He's really excited about the wedding as it's the first one he will have gone to.

There really shouldn't be much need for any big explanation, really! Weddings are lovely things and small children are generally excited by them.

thelittlebooktroll Sat 11-Jul-15 22:39:26

Two people met and fell in love. congratulationsflowers

imsorryiasked Sat 11-Jul-15 22:40:46

DS is 6 and he has been taught at school that people get married when they love each other - he doesn't differentiate between gay/straight as it has never been suggested that there is a difference.
Last week he asked if, when two boys got married, they had to have babies cos he and his best friend had decided they didn't want any smile

ChilliAndMint Sat 11-Jul-15 22:41:48

Congratualtions..wonderful news.
No need for explanations..they will be more excited about wearing pretty dresses , getting their hair done and feeling special.

JasperDamerel Sat 11-Jul-15 22:42:51

i think that most children (used to) need an explanation of why same-sex marriage wasn't allowed, as they usually assume that they will marry their best friend when they grow up.

WeAreEternal Sat 11-Jul-15 22:43:16

As everyone else has said, you don't need to explain anything.
You love one another so you are getting married, that's it really.

I would hope by 5 years old the DCs would have some awareness of same sex relationships anyway.

Karoleann Sat 11-Jul-15 22:43:25

Uncle d and uncle m have been in our family since all our children have been born. So all very normal to our family.

We just say that most men marry women, but some men chose to marry men and vice versa. 5 year olds are so far removed from it all that they are very accepting of everything. It's never been an issue in our family.

We have a lovely wedding to look forward to next June too. Our eldest DS is 9, he did ask how they would have babies - and I just said they couldn't. (They don't want to have children together)

Gileswithachainsaw Sat 11-Jul-15 22:45:42

Why would you need to explain? Your getting married to the person you love and you want her to be a flower girl.

as Pp just said, don't start what could be a explanations if how it's different because it isn't. It's a wedding between two people who love each other.

"no you can't wear your elsa dress" grin yy that's probably going to sum it up perfectly grin

huge congratulations on your upcoming wedding. flowers

soapboxqueen Sat 11-Jul-15 22:47:25

I've just explained this very thing to my ds who has just turned 6. We did stumble a bit when he agreed there could be two brides but there still needed to be a groom. In his mind brides and grooms got married but give him a break he does have asd and this was a deviation from Disney.

We have accepted now that auntie a and auntie b are getting married and they don't need a groom. Hurrah

However, there must be cake, flowers, at least one dress, he needs a top hat, a cuddle from each bride and the music will be Taylor Swift.

So there

Nolim Sat 11-Jul-15 22:49:46

Yes, you're going to be a flower girl. No, you can't wear your Elsa dress

That is the only yhing tjat will bother her about that day.

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