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Should DH be visiting me more in hospital

(59 Posts)
PyjamasLlamas Sat 11-Jul-15 21:55:16

So Saturday morning at 2am DH and me come into A&E. I'm 26 weeks pg and was having palpitations and shortness of breath, dizziness , heart racing etc

Got seen and had bloods taken by 3.30. Great. Had to wait 4 hrs for results so 7.30am. Got told HB was 7.5 and needed a blood transfusion and was going to be transferred to labour ward.

I told DH to go his mums and get sleep. DS is there with DH parents. This was at 8.
He comes back at 1 with some food. Falls asleep on chair. Leaves again at 4 when my mum and sister come round. In busy having the blood transfusions. It goes on for hours.

He's not coming back to see me. I'm going to be in overnight as they have to wait to take new bloods and the results etc.

I'm bored and lonely. Sister was here for ages being lovely. DH has nothing to do. His parents are busy looking after DS so h can sleep.

I just feel a bit pissed off that he's so uncaring and can't b bothered to just sit with me being bored but I'm aware hormones may be making me unreasonable.

I should add for full disclosure he's also fasting. So he was fasting from when we came in at 2am until 9.15 this evening.

AIBU to think h could have come more during day to keep me company?

PyjamasLlamas Sat 11-Jul-15 21:56:32

Actually I know I'm being unreasonable! Don't flame me!

CalleighDoodle Sat 11-Jul-15 21:57:28

I dont think you are bu

mmollytoots Sat 11-Jul-15 21:57:34

I think he is being unreasonable it doesn't matter how tired he is for whatever reason. his pregnant partner is in hospital and you won't be getting much sleep. he should be there supporting you

Penfold007 Sat 11-Jul-15 21:58:37

Surely he is looking after your dc1?

mmollytoots Sat 11-Jul-15 21:58:37

text him and tell him to get his ass to you with some magazines and nice food asap.

Teabagbeforemilk Sat 11-Jul-15 21:58:39

He went to get some sleep and came back 5 hours later, so not much sleep. Then stayed 3 hours.

If he wasn't fasting I would say he should have been back tonight. However I fasted today (invited to by my friend) and felt awful by 5pm. Not fit to go anywhere. Let alone drive.

Have you rang him?

OddBoots Sat 11-Jul-15 21:59:03

Have you asked him?

People want different things in hospital, he may not realise you want more company, some people (myself included) would rather have peace and rest.

Getthewonderwebout Sat 11-Jul-15 21:59:20

Sorry you're in hospital, firstly.

He was there for 3 hours, though slept. Then your sister came and spent a good amount of time with you from 4? What time does visiting end?

Is it your first?

Getthewonderwebout Sat 11-Jul-15 21:59:40

(Baby, not husband!)

Getthewonderwebout Sat 11-Jul-15 22:00:30

Ignore the osbor your first! Sorry, I read it but it didn't register!

mistlethrush Sat 11-Jul-15 22:00:50

I don't think you're being completely unreasonable actually -he'd had plenty of time to have a nap and still come back.

I was really annoyed at DH when he didn't bother coming in until 1pm when I'd left a telephone message with him to say what a bad night (ie no sleep at all) I had had and wanted him there to help!

threenotfour Sat 11-Jul-15 22:00:51

YABU a little. Hormones probably. Don't worry about it. Try and rest and sleep yourself. It sounds like you need to be resting and relaxing as much as is possible in hospital having transfusions anyway.

If it really bothers you then just say you would like him to come in and sit with you. Communication is the key. Don't tell him off for not being there just ask him to come when you need him next.

Getthewonderwebout Sat 11-Jul-15 22:01:02

ffs! The question about your first.

Penfold007 Sat 11-Jul-15 22:01:06

If your pregnant you shouldn't be fasting

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers Sat 11-Jul-15 22:01:15

Well, he was awake half the night last night, and now it's 10pm. Do you really want him to come and sit with you? Don't you just want to go to sleep yourself?

Why is he fasting?

SweetCharityBeginsAtHome Sat 11-Jul-15 22:01:20

Does he know that you really want him there as much as possible?

Artandco Sat 11-Jul-15 22:01:59

Assuming he thinks he can't visit or stay after visiting hours end which are 8/9pm usually. So surely he wouldn't be let in now until morning anyway?

mmollytoots Sat 11-Jul-15 22:02:14

what does it matter if its her first. partners support each other through thick and thin. my dp would never leave me alone and he hates hospital's.

mmollytoots Sat 11-Jul-15 22:03:06

if he's tired during the birth of your child can he just piss off.


Teabagbeforemilk Sat 11-Jul-15 22:04:02

penfols she didn't say she was fasting

Bugsylugs Sat 11-Jul-15 22:05:21

Does he have to drive to get there?
If he is fasting he needs to get food and fluid in him now he is likely unsafe to drive due to fasting and lack of proper sleep.
I understand how you feel but yabu but you need to talk to him

sootballs Sat 11-Jul-15 22:06:35

When our dd1 was about 6m she was taken very ill and we were taken by paramedics to hospital late in the evening. At about 2 am DH went home as only one parent could stay, I was up all night long as she was very poorly, messaged DH at about 8.30 am to ask if he could bring me clothes, food, money - he replied saying he was just sorting work out - at midday he arrived as he'd fallen asleep, and when he work he needed a shower then stopped to grab some food.

By that point I had been awake 30 hours with a very poorly baby, and I could have killed him.

You need to ask your DH to put you first, hope you're home soon

Caboodle Sat 11-Jul-15 22:06:54

I have been in hospital quite a bit over the last year and would not expect nor want dh to visit twice in one day. I just don't think it's fair on him to be back and forth like that. My dad expects my mum to do it when he is in and it exhausts her.
Hope you are feeling better soon but I think the hormones are making you a little unreasonable.

mmollytoots Sat 11-Jul-15 22:09:30

caboodle its a different story if you are in hospital loads. but a once off her dp needs to show more support

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