Aibu to feel like distancing myself from my colleagues

[whatisforteamum]

Ive posted on here lots sorry.The other week i decided to remove some pple from fb as i want to be able to put pic s of myself and dying df without anyone at work thinking it was emotional blackmail (i was accused of this when i asked to leave at 9pm fathers day request was refused and so i didnt see him).
One fulltimer left so i covered extra hrs which was a distraction from home.
5 weeks ago another fulltimer left and neither has been replaced so we are all doing extra in the excessively busy days (weather dependant business) often doing 10 am /1130 or later.
Last week i had 2 days off went back refreshed as the dh decided to actually take me out for the day.I overheard a male colleague say id liketo punch her in the V**a she is getting on my nerves".
I pointed out i could hear him then tried to make a joke of it.
Later in the week i was in bed when the same guy messaged me to ask me to start early as soon as i saw the message i agreed and went in until midnight,he wasnt speaking only moaning what a hard day he had had
.
I then discover the boss has rota d me on for 2 weeks at 40 hrs when im on 19 hr contract due to swop to 30 !!we are already operating with 3 instead of 5 people with students helping AIBU to think with all my home stress which they have been informed of they are taking the p**s.
I have been for an interview this week but with df so ill its a stress i dont need and dont know how new employer would be if he passed away soon.Rant over thanks.

[whatisforteamum]

or is hearing someone say "id like to punch her in the vagina" the norm at work now.

[Crimblecrumble]

No, that is not normal at all! Yanbu to want to work the hours you are contracted to do, and i would certainly be distancing myself from those colleagues and that workplace tbh, it doesnt sound like you are being treated fairly at all. Do you get any thanks for all these extra hours(i presume you are paid for them?) i think you need to make a stand, stop doing so many extra hours, if you always say yes they will think you are ok with it/not care because you are the easy option. Can you start looking for another job? Also, sorry you are having such a crap and stressful time.

[CakeLady1]

YANBU. Take a copy of the rota, cross out all the shifts you can't do, hand it back and ask them to find someone else to do it - you've been plenty flexible and a 'team player' so far, but they're taking advantage of your good nature here.
As for the rude comment, maybe tell him that you (and probably many other people) would like to punch him in the face, but you don't go on about it... What a tit he is!

[whatisforteamum]

Some people have left and made head office complaints about a few managers being investigated at the moment.
One of them told me he mentioned i was doing too much in my circumstances and was told "she always does the hrs anyway"
I do get paid.Previously i had set days and was asked for extras which i always did as i am a workaholic and good team player such is Dh.I had also asked for my contract to include more but 80 hrs on shift work with dcs and ill family members i am reluctant to go sick and have text as soon as the rota was done as the guy was off so far no reply.
I shouldnt be expected to pick up so much slack.The guy who wants to punch me claims im so lovely im like his mum!He also said i have to deal with the fact my parents are dying of cancer as old pple die anyway (bet he hasnt seen loved ones have loads of chemo operations or heard his dads funeral plans in advance :(

[whatisforteamum]

My work and dcs are my life now i feel im cutting more pple out to save my sanity and will be alone when df dies.

[Atenco]

I really haven't any advice, OP, but I'm so sorry you are going through all this.

[whatisforteamum]

Thank you Atenco just dont know where my lovely job and life went i guess.
or how people can be so uncaring (ive been accused of being too nice.

[whatisforteamum]

where do i stand regarding extras as ive done lots since last nov does this mean they are my hrs now does anyone in management know )

[Crimblecrumble]

Your contracted hours are your contracted hours, the amount of extra you have done in the past has no bearing on that. You have been an amazing team player, going above and beyond for some time now. I thonm you need to speak to management and aay that this is not sustainable. Yes we need the money from work so it is important, but your family is more important, you don't want to miss any precious time with your parents, or kids. Good luck x

[Collaborate]

Have a read of this:
www.hse.gov.uk/contact/faqs/workingtimedirective.htm

It's all about the working time directive. Know your rights, and stand up for them. You don't have to do all they tell you.

[shouldnthavesaid]

Are you in the nhs? (You say you work with students?)

It isn't worth having colleagues on facebook most of the time. I have deleted a lot of mine as just not great, too much gossiping and taking things to management.

[Fluffybear86]

I would take a grievance out against that colleague. I closed my fb and opened another under a new name so ex colleague cant find out about my wedding theyre sad gets!