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to miss London so much even though we live in the lovely town of Horsham? :-(

(110 Posts)
Lostandlostsomemore Sat 11-Jul-15 09:34:48

Everyone keeps telling me I'm mental.
We were living in a tiny 2 bed house ( with 2 toddlers ) with a patio in sutton and now live in a 2 double bed house with a massive garden and drive for the same price ( renting ) but I just miss London.
Well Sutton to be exact.
I know it had it's problems, schools were a major concern for me as they were all 3 intakes a year and some were struggling with the change of the amount of non English speaking children and we have the perfect school here for my daughter to start in September but it just doesn't feel right.
Everyone is very well off and are always astounded that at 33 I'm still renting but that's the card I was dealt so no point moaning about it. I hate having to drive everywhere, even into town is 2 miles so too long for the 3 year old to walk unless I have an hour to do it with all the stopping and starting.
Even parks aren't close together so you find yourself driving from one to another so we are spending way more than we were in petrol plus my husband lost London weighting so weighed up we are worse off financially.
Luckily I've found a part time evening job to top us up however that just feels like I'm missing time at home to accommodate this new life that I hate anyway.
My husband doesn't want to go back now, crime rate / gangs as a few stabbings happened just before we moved last year and really enjoys the green space / fishing etc which growing up in battersea I'm not used to nor do I like!
Biggest problem is obviously all school allocations have now been made so the school we would get if any would be terrible no doubt and we are signed into a tenancy until December so it's all just a massive mess.

Happyringo Sat 11-Jul-15 09:42:15

OP are you the same poster who asked like 379988 times about moving to various Sussex towns?

Clearly it's just not working is it. I think you have to move back its clear you never wanted to leave.

Apatite1 Sat 11-Jul-15 09:47:58

Oh dear. You've made a mistake. Sorry, I think you'll have to put up with it and then move back when you can.

Goshthatsspicy Sat 11-Jul-15 09:51:36

happy l was thinking that.
op what are you going to do now?

christinarossetti Sat 11-Jul-15 09:58:31

When did you move? Have you given yourself enough of a chance to settle in?

sleepwhenidie Sat 11-Jul-15 10:01:10

On the bright side, you are renters so it's much easier to move than it would be if you'd bought and paid stamp duty <hopeful>?

StonedGalah Sat 11-Jul-15 10:02:01

What about her dh who is happy there?

It's tough when you move, takes a while to settle in. I hated my zone 3 house after moving from zone 2 tiny 2 bed flat with no outside space. I wanted to sell and go back renting!

Fast forward and l love the space, back garden and quiet suburban street. We went back to the old area a few weeks ago and l bloody hated it! Crowded, noisy and smelly.

Give it time OP, and remember why you moved in the first place.

msgrinch Sat 11-Jul-15 10:04:25

I also live in Horsham and it's really nothing like you're making it out to be confused

LIZS Sat 11-Jul-15 10:07:08

Horsham is not really that big ! Can you move closer to the amenities or on a bus route(although I'd have thought it was pretty well connected anyway) when your tenancy expires. If you've only been there 6 months or less you haven't really given it long enough and school will open up a whole new set of opportunities.

Lostandlostsomemore Sat 11-Jul-15 10:07:54

Haven't posters before no.
I didn't want to leave but felt pushed into a corner with the school situation.
I was very stupid thinking we would be able to afford a bigger house here as whilst we can the petrol costs equal the shortfall so make no sense.
My mum really encouraged me to leave, kept reminding me London is no place to raise children and she wants to retire to Chichester this summer so obviously I then worried if I didn't make the move, she wouldn't ( she is quite needy although now remarried so no longer a single mum like she was when I was growing up ) and then I would feel that I held her back.
I miss my old house ( husband keeps reminding me it wasn't ours it was a rental property which could have been sold at any time ) the neighbours the familiarity I miss hearing different accents and seeing people that weren't all exactly the same.
Clearly this town is doing something right as most people I have met have lived here all their lives and never wanted to leave, schools are generally outstanding etc etc etc but it's just incredibly boring and same same wishy washy with a few racist / derogatory comments thrown in if someone other than older mother English woman with toddlers dressed in stuff from the white company dare to enter the park.
Really weird.

mrsdavidbowie Sat 11-Jul-15 10:18:12

London is no way to raise children
Utter crap.
And you were in Sutton? Hardly London.
Why does where your mother is planning to retire affect you?
And you talk about casual racism. What about your comments about non English speaking children in school?

msgrinch Sat 11-Jul-15 10:21:49

You're being ridiculous and rude now. I've lived here for 14 years, I was a young mum and have never encountered anything like your description. I don't drive and the buses are regular and reliable. It's far from boring here if you actually choose to do things and get involved. You're just making up stuff so people tell you yanbu

Bakeoffcake Sat 11-Jul-15 10:25:39

If you don't like that town then move somewhere else. You are very flexible of you're renting. Life is too short to feel miserable.

keepitsimple0 Sat 11-Jul-15 10:26:18

London is fun. Come back. there's plenty of room here!

Lostandlostsomemore Sat 11-Jul-15 10:28:41

My comment about non English speaking children isn't racist!
It was a concern on the impact of the teachers who would be expected to teach both non English speaking children and English children with no barrier, the teacher friends I have in London admit it's a constant struggle and unfortunately it is more so the English kids who don't get as much focus as they don't need it as much but this can have an impact, it's daft for people to think it doesn't I think.
My husband is mixed race alhough born here and I can assure you he had encountered a few comments when we've taken the kids to the park, one being " I didn't realise black people lived this far out of cities " and when a polish lady came in and was waiting for a turn on the swing a lady causally said to her child that he would now have to wait as even though we are in England, " poles " still come away before us.
I'm not sure what else you would call it other than racist.

Backforthis Sat 11-Jul-15 10:28:50

Sutton is not London. It's also grim. Shoreham is like a wet Sunday in the 1970s.

KarlosKKrinkelbeim Sat 11-Jul-15 10:33:55

I live near Horsham and work in Sutton and am frankly goggling that anyone would prefer the latter to the former. Sutton isn't London. It's a grim place full of traffic with poor shops, no decent places to eat and little in the way of other amenities. You will find thriving cultural life in the small Sussex towns if you care to look. Petworth, Arundel, Chichester, all very near you and rich in history, Chich has fantastic theatre, Arundel and Petworth have their festivals, Petworth House with fantastic art collection, I have visited a dozen times at least and each time find something new to marvel at.
And I have never heard anyone in Sussex utter the sort of racist remarks you are referring to. Not even in my tiny little village (where not everyone is white btw).

echt Sat 11-Jul-15 10:39:54

I thought you might be living in Horsham, VIC, Au., in which, you poor sod.

<Standing by for regional Aussies to tear me a new one>

grin

keepitsimple0 Sat 11-Jul-15 10:40:44

"I didn't realise black people lived this far out of cities"

shock grin

TurnOverTheTv Sat 11-Jul-15 10:41:02

Its hardly London! I live in Banstead and go to Sutton for the train. I'd much rather live in Horsham, I know you might love it in Sutton but it's a bit grim.

KarlosKKrinkelbeim Sat 11-Jul-15 10:42:52

I know Horsham well, and non-white faces are not that exceptional there.
She's making that up, I think.

OctopusesGarden Sat 11-Jul-15 10:45:02

G'day echt ;-)

MrsAmaretto Sat 11-Jul-15 10:45:12

You need to give it time. How old are your kids? Have you joined groups/activities? Have you really tried to settle and make it your home? Space & decent schools are pretty massive reasons for staying somewhere.

Are there no buses in Horsham? Is it like rural Britain? You sound a bit silly about driving! Get a copy of the bus timetables, walk to the nearest bus stop & get as close to the park as possible? It might be a shocker but most places don't have a comprehensive bus system passing every 2-5minutes. You need to plan!

CarlaJones Sat 11-Jul-15 10:48:09

Have you thought of moving to Bognor?

HarlotOTara Sat 11-Jul-15 10:48:49

I grew up in Horsham and my parents still live there and it is a lovely town although I thought it very boring as a teenager., but then teenagers find everything boring. I have worked in Sutton and it is a boring unattractive place and although part of Greater London isn't really London is it? Anyway I think places like most things are what you make them.

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