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To not want to be friends with this arsehole?

(8 Posts)
romeomorningwhisky Fri 10-Jul-15 22:30:21

Child's Dad:
Complete waste of space.
No skin off her nose, never been in her life (she was 2 past April)
Saw her yesterday for first time since December 2013 for 1/2 hour.
It's been arranged my little one will go to his sister in law's once a week for an hour & he can see her.
Baby steps.

I've spelled it out it's more for his benefit than hers we take it very slowly (first name not Daddy) we'll never be friends so to keep it to the point we discuss the little one only & keep contact to a minimum.

So he texted me earlier how were we.
5 mins later "is it that hard to reply"
Since then he's said "great , you haven't changed" & apparently I "have something over him"

I am in a good place just now, I feel nothing for him not even pissed off about the past & there's been some pretty horrendous stuff , don't want to throw the towel in so soon but told him any annoyance & I'm out.

AIBU to not want to be friends with someone purely because I have the misfortune of having a child with him?

TBH I think I'm being decent as hell trying to give him "another" chance, have no expectations but can't believe he's started acting twattish already !!!!

Surely isn't going to expect me to extend the hand of friendship & he's lasted the last 27 months not knowing how we are so not going to send him an essay every day.

Argh!

Balanced12 Fri 10-Jul-15 22:36:00

YANBU you do not have to be his friend you do need to try to maintain a working relationship but that does not mean replying within 5 minutes.

Good luck he sounds like an pain, I also have one I have to manage I very rarely reply to a text the same day, if they can disappear for years they can wait 24hrs for a text !

DoreenLethal Fri 10-Jul-15 22:36:00

I'd probably respond the next day 'Please can you keep the contact to matters pertaining to access and email only. I am not going to be responding to any texts from you, and certainly not running making sure I respond within 5 minutes. If I do, it is on my own timetable, not yours. Thanks'

Or I'd respond 'Who is this? I think you may have the wrong number'

CalleighDoodle Fri 10-Jul-15 22:36:57

Id just ignore and only contact officially

romeomorningwhisky Fri 10-Jul-15 22:39:29

He is a massive pain in the arse!!!
I'm over it but I've said until I'm blue in the face keep it simple, don't make it personal, we are not friends.

I won't even be there when he sees the little one I've only seen him a couple times for initial chat & 1st meeting.

Don't even wish to breathe the same air as him let alone be his pal.

Feel I owe it to the kid to try again though & when it blows up in my face at least I can walk away with a clear conscience & when she grows up she'll never be able to think I prevented him from seeing her.

Saz12 Fri 10-Jul-15 22:43:30

When you say "try again" you don't mean try again with him, as in be in a relationship with him.. do you? if so you're an eejit.
If you just mean, give him a chance to get to know his child - fair enough.

romeomorningwhisky Fri 10-Jul-15 22:46:14

The latter !

Try again to help him build a relationship with his daughter !

I'm persona non grata as far as he is concerned & that will never change.

This is why it never works as he can't keep it child based & always drags me into it.

First few months of her life were absolute hell & it's a massive regret I wasted so much time & energy on trying to make things work but it's all water under the bridge.

VixxFace Fri 10-Jul-15 22:51:57

Just be civil for your daughters sake nothing else.

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