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AIBU?

To be shit scared about elective C?

49 replies

Givemecoffeeplease · 10/07/2015 21:06

First baby caused all sorts of damage on the way out and whilst it would have been fine I was left for 3 hours before being stitched, by which time the area was swollen. It didn't heal well, I needed extra surgery 6mo later and my sex life was non-existent for a year. Took me ages to be able to walk and move about, felt really hard done by at the time but now (thanks to MN!) I realise this isn't unusual! So - due second DC in November and have been signed off for ELCS (took A LOT to get this, but that's another matter). I am happy with the decision as I don't believe the scar tissue will stretch for DC2 and have a mental block against pushing as I'm so scared of testing again (actually it's not the tearing, it was the year long recovery....) so happy with ELCS choice - but still shit scared. Scared I won't be able to hold my baby, scared I can't cuddle DS1, scared I can't lift anything or drive or even sit up. I'm scared of post natal care being crap (doesn't help that I'm in a busy London hospital and I can't help but remember the 3 hour delay of last time), scared I won't get decent pain relief - basically after a ton of errors last time from overstretched and overburdened staff I just don't want to be in hospital again. I am scared of it. Aibu or is it a shit show? I just want to manage my expectations.

OP posts:

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Givemecoffeeplease · 10/07/2015 21:06

*tearing not testing

OP posts:

maggieryan · 10/07/2015 21:15

Ah don't be worried. I had emergency section for my first and second two were elective and were a walk in the park. So nice to go on on the planned date, everything was so nice. Staff were friendly, and baby comes out without a bother. Yes it was a bit sore but I've nothing to compare with as never had a VB. Sections all the way for me. And yes I got to cuddle baby within seconds. I was out of hospital for both 4 days later. I can hand on heart say i waant in much pain and the most pain relief i needes on last babu was paracetomal. Try not worry, youre just afraid after fehat happened first time nd congratulations by the way xx

maggiethemagpie · 10/07/2015 21:15

I had an electic C section for my second child after an emergency section with my first. It's fine!!! Worse things happen at sea, as they say.

The worst part for me was trying to chase after an active toddler whilst I was recuperating, and my partner had gone back to work. But I got through.

You'll feel like you've been sawn in two the first day or two but it's not that bad - just a bit sore really, take all the painkillers they offer.

So in my opoinion yes you are BU, but you are not BU to be anxious

TheHouseOnBellSt · 10/07/2015 21:17

Oh gosh my ELC was MARVELOUS! Nothing to be scared of at all. It's chilled out....they're lovely to you....the surgeon even made me laugh whilst he was doing it!

It was SO much better than the trauma of my first emergency c section which followed HOURS of pain and fear.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 10/07/2015 21:18

I just want to clarify that my emergency section wasn't hours of fear and pain....the trying to give birth part was!

Mia1415 · 10/07/2015 21:19

Don't be scared. I had an elective c section with my DS (he was breech) & I was absolutely fine. In fact (& I wouldn't recommend this) I was standing on the dining room table hanging up Christmas decorations a week afterwards.

Writerwannabe83 · 10/07/2015 21:20

I just wrote the longest and detailed post about my ELCS and then it disappeared. I screamed in frustration.

To sum it all up: there were some good aspects of the CS and don't negatives but overall it was absolutely fine and I would have no qualms about having another.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

Writerwannabe83 · 10/07/2015 21:21

some negatives. I hate auto correct!!

Ilikesweetpeas · 10/07/2015 21:22

Ahh, please try not to worry. I had an elective section and recovery was nowhere near as bad as I expected. The worst thing was dropping my shampoo bottle in the shower the next day and wondering how I was going to pick it up!! I had just paracetamol after day 2, keep on top of it every 4 hours so that the pain doesn't build up. My after care in hospital wasn't great, they were so busy I felt forgotten but it was absolutely fine. Will you have anyone who can help with washing etc when you get home? That would be useful if you can, also frozen meals so that you're not cooking.

ReginaBlitz · 10/07/2015 21:22

Don't worry I've just had my 7th and they said it was just like any other

FloraPost · 10/07/2015 21:24

I've had 2 ELCS and they are an utter delight. Nothing but paracetamol needed after the 2nd day. I only needed 1 night in hospital with my 1st and was up and about after 17 hours. You'll be just fine.

Givemecoffeeplease · 10/07/2015 21:24

Thank you! Will try and avoid the Christmas decorating tho Mia!

I'm dreading being in hospital, I've heard such bad things about London post natal care. Trying to see it as 48+/- hours to get through then I get to go home and enjoy my family. Love these positive stories ESP as last time was hideous (labour was fine - everything after was awful!)

OP posts:

Givemecoffeeplease · 10/07/2015 21:25

Am buying shower gel with a hook right now! Thank you all - will save this thread for the months ahead

OP posts:

AlmaMartyr · 10/07/2015 21:30

My ELCS was fantastic. Recovery was loads better than my first (VB). I spent a couple of days in hospital but was able to get straight back into things when I got home. Was obviously a little sore and couldn't drive but could play with my toddler. Loved it! My VB was horrendous so it was the best choice for me.

I was able to cuddle DS pretty quickly - he went to DH first and then to me. Breastfed very easily - he latched on in recovery room and never stopped.

MrsAmaretto · 10/07/2015 21:33

Try not to worry, the great thing about an elective is that you can be prepared. Speak to friends who've had sections, research the internet & mumsnet, find out what's normal & what's not & how to prepare for the recovery.

And, whether you agree with it or not we are now meant to be "consumers" of the Nhs - press that bloody button to get help & pain relief, you are entitled to the best care. Since you had dreadful treatment last time, research who you (or loved ones) can contact up the chain of command, if you feel you are not receiving appropriate care.

An elective is a bit scary - it's surgery, but unlike last time you can prepare to help your experience. I had an elective, then a failed vbac/emergency section.

Thomasjames2007 · 10/07/2015 21:34

I had an emergency c-section after finding out at 38 weeks that DS had moved and was breech. It wasnt an emergency in the true sense as my waters broke the day after finding out he had moved. I was really nervous (first) baby but I couldn't have had more positive experience.

Waters broke at 7.30am, landed at hospital at 8am, baby in my arms by 10.30!

The explained everything and took me into theatre where they put the spinal in (slight prick in the back). They then put up the tent thingy and brought DH in and baby came out shortly after.

I held him then he went out with DH while I got stitched up (about 20mins). Got feeling back in legs after about an hour and didn't feel one bit of pain. Got up and had a shower the next day and felt great!

I moved around as much as I wanted - Midwife shouted at me tho for pounding up the stairs a few days later but I just listened to my body and did what I felt I could do and stopped if I felt any twinges.

Obviously I have nothing to compare it to but felt I had it pretty easy compared to the other girls on the ward who had emergency (in the real sense - like labouring for days) sections. God love them they looked wrecked and exhausted.

I'm not sure what will happen for the next one but definitely wouldn't mind another section.

mewkins · 10/07/2015 21:43

I had an emcs followed by an elcs. The elcs was brilliant. The hospital staff are so used to them, they prepare you and treat you very well. They explain everything that is going on and are really kind. Evrrything is really well monitored and they ask you about skin to skin etc in the pre op stuff. The post care was great and they had me ip and about less than 24 hours later. I recovered really well and was out and about in a few days and driving three weeks later. I have 4 years between mine so didn't really need to lift dd etc but light lifting and bending down was fine. Good luck, you will be fine.

Jubublian · 10/07/2015 21:47

I had a (very difficult) vaginal birth for my first and two elective sections after that. I found it a bit scary going in both times but my recovery after the sections was a lot easier. It was hard not being able to get up and about as quickly as I would have liked but it was manageable on very little in the way of painkillers.

MisForMumNotMaid · 10/07/2015 21:48

I had a socking first birth emergency c section that led to a slow recovery too but not because of the c section. I had a back injury.

I wanted a beautiful serene natural one for the second, he had other ideas, two sweeps and fifteen days over it was another c section.

It was so lovely to be fully alert and relaxed to have my baby in the morning and be able to feed him and get my latch checked etc. The registrar swang by my bed and registered him within an hour of his birth.

Later in the day i felt happy to receive imediate family visitors.

So different to being asolutely exhausted, drugged up or in pain with my first.

I had afew days staying in hospital but not in any pain.

I'd recomend buying some value granny pants in a slightly bigger than normal size so that you don't have any knicker elastic near your c section cut.

As others have said mine didn't hurt, no drowsyness from pain killers just the odd paracetamol the first few days.

After my third c section I was back cooking, cleaning and looking after my other two DC three days later.

ThisTimeIAmMagic · 10/07/2015 21:51

Your ELCS will be fine. I won't lie, I did find the recovery painful although it might have been because I got an infection but the CS itself was very calm and DS came out looking unsquashed I was also able to breastfeed which was important to me. Go for it 100 %.

flamingtoaster · 10/07/2015 22:04

I had an emergency section for DS (cord twice round his neck) and a planned section for DD. The planned section is very relaxed. Both times I was up and moving within 12 hours. I only had paracetamol and that was enough to manage the pain and I only needed it for a few days. DD ended up in SCBU the day after she was born and I was able to manage the stairs up and down to there to feed her regularly - slowly though! The main thing is not to do anything quickly - take it slowly and easily for the first few days. Congratulations!

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 10/07/2015 22:05

I've had 2. No labour, no pain, swift recovery. You'll be fine.

Have a lovely time with your beautiful new baby!

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morningsarepants · 10/07/2015 22:08

Don't worry, you have made the right decision. I was a mess after VB, then had CS for DC2 and wow, so much better. She was in my arms immediately, was home quicker, and was driving within 4 weeks. No PND either. Brilliant all round.

skankingpiglet · 10/07/2015 22:27

I had an elcs as DD was breech. I was absolutely shitting myself about it, but it was actually ok. As others have said, it was all very calm and quick. In fact I was up on the ward 1 3/4hrs after I'd walked into the operating theatre! In terms of holding your baby quickly, because it's elective rather than an emergency the docs are pretty good at accommodating that sort of request. Google 'natural caesarean' - we were able to have a lot of the stuff it recommends (delayed cord clamping, straight to 'skin to skin' contact etc).
The down side was the staffing levels on the ward. Once DH was sent home at 9pm, I was on my own for 12hrs unable to get up to even change my baby's nappy as I still had a catheter in (it should have been taken out by then). Finding a staff member to help with the nappies was a nightmare, and I'll never forget the dirty look one of the midwives gave me when I asked if my water jug could be refilled (it was the middle of a heat wave, and thanks yet again to the catheter I was hardly able to hop up and get it myself!). The recovery was pretty painful for a few weeks, but I know other women who've found it a lot easier, so maybe I'm just a bit of a wimp!

eminthebigsmoke · 10/07/2015 22:34

Lots of great stories here already. I think the approach to pain control has changed, I was encouraged to ask for as much pain relief as I needed and that's the main thing. The stitches will not come out so take whatever you need to get moving comfortably as quickly as possible. It will be great! Good luck

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