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AIBU?

To not want to get rid of my dogs? And to be really annoyed when people suggest I do?

68 replies

Frillsandspills · 10/07/2015 17:15

I have 2 beautiful dogs. Both males, one bichon frise who is 2, and a 4 year old King Charles spaniel.
They're both really well behaved dogs and I can't fault them really. They live with my parents and I've decided to live with my parents for a while as I'm 17 weeks pregnant and due to quite a traumatic break up I feel I need the support from them for a while. Because of this, a few other family members have made comments about how we need to get rid of our dogs.

Our house is a decent size with two living rooms. The dogs aren't allowed in the front living room as my mum likes to keep it a 'dog free zone' for any visitors, and apart from my room that is where I'd probably spend most of my time with my baby once he's here (as well as my room as there's no point in making the spare room into a nursery as I will probably move out before I'd want my baby in his own room anyway).
I'd never under any circumstances leave a child alone with a dog no matter how small or gentle they are. My dad is really attached to the dogs and he takes over the walks as he likes an excuse to get out of the house.
What I'm trying to say is, the dogs get plenty of attention and walks from my parents so they'd never be left out because a baby is here. I know when the baby is here it may be difficult for them to get used to it, but I don't agree that we should giving them away.
I feel that as its my child, if I feel comfortable living with my two lovely dogs then that's my choice. Not only that but I'm not going to be living with my parents forever (although I refer to them as MY dogs, they're family pets not just mine but my mum did tell me if I wanted them rehomed because of the baby then that's fine).
Other family members are convinced it's a bad idea to keep them because the majority don't like dogs, but I really don't see the problem as they're very well behaved and have been around small children and babies before, but like I said they'd never be left along with a baby.

AIBU for wanting to keep them in the same house as a baby? Everyone who has suggest not keeping them has gave their dogs away when they had babies , and when I tell them I'm 100% keeping my dogs they look at me as though I'm about to play Russian roullete with my babies life??

Has anyone else successfully introduced a baby to a household with dogs?

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Frillsandspills · 10/07/2015 17:17

I must add, I'm not 'really annoyed' that people suggest it, it's just when they're persistent and act like I'm being really irresponsible for thinking I shouldn't need to rehome them. Of course if there were signs of aggression towards the baby from the dogs it would be a completely different story

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Reginafalangie · 10/07/2015 17:18

OP if you are sensible around dogs then there is no reason to get rid of them once the baby arrives.

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RagingJellyBean · 10/07/2015 17:19

I don't have anything constructive to add to this as I've never introduced DD into a doggy household, but, good on your for not getting rid of your pooches.
It really sucks when people get rid of their dogs just because they have a child on the way. Hmm

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HerrenaHarridan · 10/07/2015 17:23

Yes.
We had 2 dogs when dd was born.

We let them have a wee sniff of her when she came home.
Me being me I explained to them that she was one of us and they were to help look after her.

The biggest problem we ever had with them was trying to stop them licking dds face once she was encouraging them.

Once dd was eating solids I kept them from lying under her high chair when eating so they couldn't compete for her droppings abs accidently snap fingers.

Once dd was mobile I was more a concern of protecting the dogs from the investigative baby.

The only time one if them even so much as growled at the kids was when a visiting child was standing on her and bouncing up and down.
The dog was helped to escape and the child was disciplined.

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BloodyDogHairs · 10/07/2015 17:24

I have 2 large German Shepherd dogs and I heard that all the time from my family when I was pregnant. Ignore everyone who suggests it!.

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EnjoyTheSimpleThingsInLife · 10/07/2015 17:26

I wouldn't re home your dogs. I lived with my mum when my eldest dd was born. She has got a German Shepherd. He was 6 at the time so still very boisterous etc.
What helped when introducing the baby was not telling the dog to keep away or things like that. Obviously he wasn't left alone with her but he was never pushed away.

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Gileswithachainsaw · 10/07/2015 17:27

Yanbu. as long as all precautions are followed then there's no reason to get rid of any pet.

I grew up with cats not dogs but the cars were never any danger to me despite propel assuming they would smother a baby.

I never understand unless circumstances change so immensely (illness or disability or dog can't cope with child etc) why people don't consider keeping the dogs.

cos surely you train your dog's so they aren't shitting every where, come when called, don't chew everything and you walk them enough they aren't bouncing off the walls 24/7 right??!! Hmm

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horseygeorgie · 10/07/2015 17:29

I lived with my parents when DD was born. We had 3 dogs. worked out really well!

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Frillsandspills · 10/07/2015 17:29

thank you! Glad to hear it's not strange to think of keeping your dogs! I felt like it was the norm to suddenly get rid.
I'm a little bit apprehensive of how they'll react to a babies cry, but I'll find out soon enough.

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wafflyversatile · 10/07/2015 17:33

Many many people have dogs and then have a child. I had no idea it was controversial. As long as you're sensible.

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Frillsandspills · 10/07/2015 17:34

My mums friend got rid of her dog because her daughter who didn't even live with her was pregnant. I just couldn't understand at all. The dog was absolutely lovely, small, playful but gentle and barely even growled. The reason behind it was because her new grandchild would be staying and she didn't feel comfortable but I couldnt see the problem myself as the grandchild only stayed one night per week

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GahBuggerit · 10/07/2015 17:34

i have a sbt and got this. i felt like i had to justify why i wanted to keep it. i didnt though, just raised an eyebrow and laughed like it was yhe most ridiculous thing id ever heard.

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JustThisSideOfSane · 10/07/2015 17:38

Are you going to be renting when you move out of your parents?

Wondering if people are concerned about being able to rent privately with 2 dogs.

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JustThisSideOfSane · 10/07/2015 17:39

I don't think you are being unreasonable for wanting to keep them btw.

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honeyroar · 10/07/2015 17:39

You're right, it's the people that think you dump a beloved and well behaved pet because you're pregnant that are wierd!

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Gileswithachainsaw · 10/07/2015 17:42

I honestly do wonder of all this "getting rid" and keeping our children away from pets does more harm than good.

I personally believe sharing your life with animals brings so much joy and kerning at an early age to respect animals and how to treat them is such a valuable lesson.

far better than them. growing up to think pets are disposable and you get rid when the kids come along.

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ratherhaveacupoftea · 10/07/2015 17:49

I have a King Charles Spaniel who was 2 when DS was born. They play together and the dog is rarely far from DS. KC spaniels are fab dogs!

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lilacblossomtime · 10/07/2015 17:58

I secretly think it is cruel, cruel, cruel to get rid of a well behaved dog with no issues because you are having a baby. I totally judge anyone who does this.

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Frillsandspills · 10/07/2015 18:01

JustThisSideOfSane I'll hopefully be buying a property as I have enough savings to put down a deposit, but everyone who has mentioned it to me hasn't said anything about dogs being allowed in properties it's more "but a baby was mauled to death by a dog on the news last week, how could you sleep at night knowing your dogs could do that?" Of course those stories are sad but I do think they're quite rare and often it's down to neglect of the dog owners to be honest.

I didn't get my first dog til I was about 15 despite begging for one as soon as I could talk. I agree Giles I'd love my little boy to grow up with animals,if I had the room, time and money id have a farm! dogs are family in my eyes.

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BertieBotts · 10/07/2015 18:06

This is quite good about helping dogs get ready for a baby.



I think it's irresponsible and cruel to give up a dog just because you're pregnant. The dog is your responsibility too. It doesn't stop being because you decided to have a child. When you take on a pet, you should be reasonably sure that you can care for it for the rest of its life.

I think that the only situation where it would be fair and sensible to get rid of the dog would be an unplanned pregnancy where the dog is known to be unsafe around children or an unplanned pregnancy and you couldn't support both a child and the dog.
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Frillsandspills · 10/07/2015 18:08

I agree Bertie.
Thanks for the video!

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BertieBotts · 10/07/2015 18:13

Yes, it's really rare, and in almost all cases they weren't well adjusted family pets, they were guard dogs or fighting dogs or just plain badly socialised, the dog in that case lived in a shed :( Poor thing. And yes of course, poor family, not saying that anybody deserves to lose their child in any circumstance, but it's not the same thing. It's like saying that rats spread disease so children should never be allowed pet rats - when pet rats have no more disease than a fluffy bunny rabbit!

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emotionsecho · 10/07/2015 18:13

Frills you sound eminently sensible, have thought it all through and reached the right decision. There is no need for you to get rid of your dogs, or indeed justify why you are not as you have clearly shown you would put neither child or dogs in danger of one or the other.

Children have grown up with animals for 1000's of years, yes there have been tragedies, but usually when you look beyond the sensationalist headlines a lot of the fault lies with the humans.

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Atenco · 10/07/2015 18:14

I had that with my cats. In Mexico people think that having cats in the house make children allergic to them, however we've always had cats and no-one has developed any allergies.

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Gileswithachainsaw · 10/07/2015 18:18

yy bertie

I'm certainly not against re homing. sadly sometimes there is little choice and giving up a dog before the distress of the situation affects the health and behaviour of the dog making it difficult to place in a new home, is sometimes the kindest thing. dogs are certainly harder to re home in poor health or un trained/house trained or having bitten someone.

but the mere act of being pregnant is not a a good enough reason.

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