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AIBU?

To be fed up that mum = boring

21 replies

BoobyNooby · 10/07/2015 14:57

Just dropped dd1 (3.5yo) to her grandparents so she can hang out with them whilst I do boring jobs. I did boring jobs with her in tow this morning and she was bored, hence call to the GPs. Dd1 even said "oh good, it's lots more fun than here at their house".

I don't feel like I have the time or energy to actually play with my children much. It's all so functional - getting them dressed and fed seems to take up most of my time when we're in the house. And the washing is never ending so I don't seem to be able to just relax and have fun.

Am I alone? How do I be fun mummy whilst not living in a shit-tip?

OP posts:

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FraggleHair · 10/07/2015 15:08

Don't be downhearted. Nearly everyone's house is more fun than you're own when you're three. Because you're a guest and people make a fuss of you!

cardibach · 10/07/2015 15:18

There is a huge amount of middle ground between 'shit tip' and 'never ending washing'. If you want more time with DD, perhaps limit chores a bit. Are you one of the wash-towels-every-use and change beds every couple of days MNers?
I wouldn't take it personally though.

sunbathe · 10/07/2015 15:27

Why don't you relax and have some fun now? For you.

From what I remember about having a 3 yo, it's not that much fun for the parent at times. Use this time to revitalise yourself a bit? The chores will always be there.

Sighing · 10/07/2015 16:41

It is really important that children are "bored" sometimes and they're not likely to feel bored where things are different to their norm.
They are fed, clothed and comfortable enough to complain about their "sorry lot". I think you're doing fine.

poocatcherchampion · 10/07/2015 16:42

Do you need to get out more with her? It sounds like you are a bit shackled to boring household tasks

luckiestgirlintheworld · 10/07/2015 16:46

Put fun music on and dance while you do boring jobs.

Think of silly riddles or quiz games so you can chat and laugh together while you hang out the washing.

Paddling pool in the garden.

toomuchtooold · 10/07/2015 17:30

Our house is boring and a shit tip. 3 year old twins. I got a roll of craft paper from Ikea and in the afternoons I tape a big sheet of it to the "dining table" (coffee table, it's a small flat) and they paint on it, then have dinner on it, then I clear the whole lot off and put it in the bin. It at least puts all the mess into the one place. They have a little paddling pool and sandpit out in the garden too, that goes down fairly well. But I often think they have more fun at Kindergarten than with me. I think that's fine though - your job as a mum is to love them and be around and make sure they're clean, warm and eating properly, not to be a 24/7 travelling circus. Also I think there's a difference between being boring to yourself and boring to your kids, and often more of one means less of the other.

howabout · 10/07/2015 17:32

3.5 year olds are pretty boring if you try to play with them all the time. I have one and 2 teenagers. She is constantly perplexed at having to keep up with them.

I do try to limit how much HW etc I live in a shit tipI do in the day and keep DD3 to myself a bit for the fun part of the day rather than letting her sisters and Grannie enjoy her. DD3 is only any fun for about 2 hours max a day anyway. If I set this aside for me and her then there is plenty time to distract myself with jobs for the rest of the day.

howabout · 10/07/2015 17:34

Strikethrough fail - OK I actually do live in a shit tip. Entertainment this morning was watching 2 older DDs retrieve a book from behind a radiator which has been missing for 10 years

BoobyNooby · 10/07/2015 19:18

I manage my time badly which doesn't help. I also get distracted easily and procrastinate so maybe if I'm more efficient I would be more fun. But I'm also knackered and brain dead so quite often when everything's done and we've got a few spare mins, I just want to zone out or MN whilst they watch cbeebies.

We get out and about a lot, which is good because we're occupied but means life is hectic because we're always rushing around.

I'm not very good at making games up and I'm short on patience so find myself snapping at them.

Just feeling a bit rubbish and work down I guess.

OP posts:

BoobyNooby · 10/07/2015 19:19

And I'm deffo a slattern. can't remember when I last washed our towels

OP posts:

Wishful80sMontage · 10/07/2015 19:20

I feel like that op I cried the other day as I felt like dd wasn't having as much fun as she use to- I'm expecting and struggling to take her the places we used to go.
While it's been sunny we've played in the garden and had some friends over but hoping to get more ideas from this thread

Ycoitsid · 10/07/2015 19:21

Can't you just have fun getting changed?

Ycoitsid · 10/07/2015 19:21

I think you need to find your silly gene

Ycoitsid · 10/07/2015 19:22

It's not what you do but how you do it. You could be doing the most mundane thing but be having a good time

Notso · 10/07/2015 19:33

Arf at howabout same thing happened here about a month ago. It was the highlight of my week.

OP you could be me but I have 4 DC. DD has already been moaning at how shit the summer holidays will be.

BoobyNooby · 10/07/2015 19:59

My silly gene is buried underneath 'everything else'... I'm going to miss these precious days one day. The past year (since dd2 was born) has been a complete blur. Sure, I get them through each day alive but my god I wish I could do it with a bit more laughter.

OP posts:

BoobyNooby · 10/07/2015 19:59

And yes the thought of the summer hols looming. Eeek.

Need to sort it out.

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RoboticSealpup · 10/07/2015 20:41

A parent is many things: a source of security and love, someone who provides the necessities and guides children through life. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself, thinking that you should be a clown or playmate on top of all that. When do you get the time to be yourself and do what you enjoy? Focus on that instead. I recommend parenting books on the RIE approach, developed by Magda Gerber and later Janet Lansbury. There's a lot about letting children discover the world at their own pace and playing independently from a young age with the parent mainly observing and setting limits. Takes a lot of pressure off!

littlejohnnydory · 10/07/2015 20:54

Stuff the housework. Just do the stuff that absolutely has to be done - dishwasher, a load of laundry on, perhaps the most cursory of hoovers - should take an hour max.

Writerwannabe83 · 10/07/2015 21:02

As long as I wash up once during the day and put some clothes in the machine then I'm satisfied I've done enough housework for the day.

When DS goes to bed I might do a few little bits and pieces around the house but I've resigned myself to the fact that having children is not conducive at all to having a lovely and clean well run house

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