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Dc1 isn't coping and I feel so bloody sad.

(19 Posts)
Iguanaleader Fri 10-Jul-15 10:17:39

Didn't cope at all at primary. Pastoral and senco care at secondary has honestly been very good.

They have made mistakes, promised ice breaker sessions, put in a group with a teacher they knew, in a room with children they knew etc which didn't happen.

They promised mentoring which didn't happen either.

But as a whole they've been 100 times better than primary. Senco room, she gets senco support, coloured overlays etc.

But she's still not coping with the homework, organisation, school size, she's falling apart, she's full of anxiety, she texts me on the way to school asking to come home. Epic meltdowns at home.

She was fine for a few months then fell apart completely around Christmas. She's had name calling past 3 weeks but it was an issue before then.

I've told her form teacher she doesn't want to come back but was told they would be sad if she left but we won't find a better school. That's what schools response was.

I just don't know what the hell to do anymore. sad

She's dyspraxic with sensory processing and receptive language issues.

Iguanaleader Fri 10-Jul-15 10:19:05

Sorry missed a sentance out. The bit about ice breakers, teachers group and room with children she knew was for residential trip.

Icimoi Fri 10-Jul-15 10:27:27

Has she got a statement or Education Health and Care Plan? If not, have you discussed that possibility with the school?

Nanny0gg Fri 10-Jul-15 10:29:43

Have a look for another school?

Iguanaleader Fri 10-Jul-15 10:30:39

No she's on what replaced school action plus. Primary said she wouldn't get one. I didn't realise I could apply. I'm now sorting this.

My main problem is she's doing the typical mask at school. Explode at home so I think they think I'm over egging it.

ghostyslovesheep Fri 10-Jul-15 10:34:23

do you have CAMHS involved? They helped my 2 eldest deal with anxiety and anger issues

Have you been in contact with Parent Partnership? I know they can be a bit hit and miss but I found having them at meetings with school meant things where followed through properly

Do you have regular meetings with school - can you ask them to put stuff in place to support her better - it's fine them saying they will but obviously they aren't doing it sad

also have a hug xxx

Iguanaleader Fri 10-Jul-15 10:43:02

They've given her less of a particular kind of homework.
They've given her overlays.
They've answered any emails/issues I've had.

I speak to them regularly. I'm about to go back to cahms.

LashesandLipstick Fri 10-Jul-15 10:44:59

Is flexisxhooling an option?

Iguanaleader Fri 10-Jul-15 10:56:19

Not there Lashes.
I've been looking at some kind of thing like Hollinsclough Primary who work with home educators and offer great flexi schooling but I can't find a secondary one.

I'd use interhigh if my job was more secure .

insanityscatching Fri 10-Jul-15 11:15:38

Definitely apply for EHCP, dd has a statement of SEN and whilst the school isn't particularly brilliant the statement means that I have regularly demanded reasonable adjustments to make life easier for dd.
Currently she does the majority of homework in school with her TA during scheduled PE lessons. She's doing an adapted science, history and english curriculum because she couldn't cope with some lesson content.
Fundamentally I have insisted that the school adapts to meet dd's needs rather than dd being forced to adapt more than she can cope with.
Dd isn't always happy in school but it has been getting better the more the school listen to me and make the necessary adjustments.
Apparently they have never done so before because there hasn't been the need but I'd probably guess there has been need just they have never had such a PITA parent previously wink

JanineMelnitzGlasses Fri 10-Jul-15 11:27:35

No real help I'm afraid but have you contacted the dyspraxia foundation for advice and support?

Iguanaleader Fri 10-Jul-15 11:33:46

I have thanks Janine, there are specialist Dyspraxia focused schools but none near here and I can't afford them sad
The only place I've found that would offer flexi schooling at secondary level is a very low fee private faith school which expects parents to work in school in some way and doesn't have qualified teachers.

JanineMelnitzGlasses Fri 10-Jul-15 11:39:27

Ah OK. Just thought they might be able to help with your EHCP application? Sorry your dc is having such a difficult time.

Iguanaleader Fri 10-Jul-15 13:36:59

Oh I never thought of that Janine thanks. I've spoken to ipsea

STEVE5200 Wed 12-Apr-17 22:39:26

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Madwoman5 Thu 13-Apr-17 01:04:27

High school is huge pressure for dyspraxic kids. Had hell for years with some teachers getting it but most, not. Continued to get reports of disorganisation, accidents, lack of focus etc (duh, yeah), poor presentation. disruptive behaviour (too many questions), sanction after sanction for homework and distraction until I felt I was going to explode. Parents evenings were a minefield. After about 3 years they finally sorted it just in time for gcses. ..and now it all starts again at college. Camhs courses are great and cool kids teaches kids and parents how to handle anxiety better. It will settle as she gains confidence and finds her niche. Mine got better at handling things when he finally found a group of kids in Base that were like him and I learned not to feed his anxiety by following some of the advice and tips learned on the cool kids course. Keep working with the school it will get better....

TheSkyAtNight Thu 13-Apr-17 08:32:30

I'm a secondary English teacher & just, after 16 years' experience & due solely to my own interest, got to attend 1 day's dyslexia training. My point is teachers are woefully under-trained & don't have a clue what your dd struggles with.

I wld go for the approach that she has a legal right to be supported with her learning disabilities. Begin with basics: ask if her teachers know what she struggles with & strategies to support? These shld be personal to your dd & consistent across teachers. The form teacher has a massive role here with organisation & friendships - have they had any training?

Get meeting with SENCo & senior staff, minute yourself & email to confirm agreed actions. Email to thank if the actions happen & query if they don't.

The Dyspraxia Assoc can help you with what dd's rights are, strategies that may help & best practice you can share with the school. In my experience you have to be your dd's advocate as teachers just don't have the time & training to support as fully as they (we) should.

BadKnee Thu 13-Apr-17 08:37:17

This was my child too. Am watching with interest. Good luck OP. It is tough.

My DS came out of school and was HE for a couple of years. It helped take the pressure off but was not great for his education.

TheSkyAtNight Thu 13-Apr-17 08:44:38

Has dd been assessed for a laptop? I've seen if really help with organising ideas (mind mapping tools), presentation, confidence & achievement...

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