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Refused entry to school music evening

(110 Posts)
squareheadcut Fri 10-Jul-15 10:01:58

my son plays violin been practising concert piece for ages. It said in weekly newsletter (in small writing amongst a million other things) that we needed to get tickets Monday. I didn't. I forgot. I also thought the music evening was on Friday not Thursday. So I'm a full time working parent with a million things to remember.
So we get there last night without our 3 pound ticket and are refused entry along with 5 or 6 other parents.
The teacher said there was no space but when we went in towards the end there was plenty of space.
So AIBU to complain about :
1. Not getting a reminder text msg about the music evening
2. Being refused entry - this is a school event for community surely?
3. Having to buy a ticket anyway
4. Expecting children to sit in a stuffy hall for 3 hours while they wait for everyone to finish playing.

I really feel like complaining bitterly as parents were never treated like this at my sons old school. My reference points might be off.

StayWithMe Fri 10-Jul-15 10:04:18

This should be interesting.

TTWK Fri 10-Jul-15 10:05:48

Don't be ridiculous. There were clear instructions and you didn't follow them. It's not the school's fault your a busy working mum with a million things to remember. They have enough on their plate, without making special arrangements to take cash on the evening when they haven't set up for that.

Good of the school to be running evening events at all, given I bet none of the staff involved are being paid extra.

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle Fri 10-Jul-15 10:06:20

Hmmmm ok. So the tiny writing is irrelevant because you clearly did tea it. And point 4 is irrelevant because it's got nothing to do with you getting in or not.

You got the day wrong and you forgot to buy a ticket. For that YABU.

But the school not letting you in or selling tickets on the door is unreasonable. Unless they have a max capacity for the hall and let you in at the end because people had left??

I suspect you are mainly cross at yourself for forgetting to buy a ticket, we've all been there. I also suspect you'd be wasting your time complaining...

TTWK Fri 10-Jul-15 10:06:57

And I wonder if any of the parents that did remember to buy tickets are busy working with a million things to remember? They got their arse into gear, so why couldn't you?

AuntieStella Fri 10-Jul-15 10:11:02

Yes, YABU.

Well, mainly.

1) it sounds like to need to see if you can find new ways of dealing with school admin that works more reliably for you.
2) non-ticket holders are routinely turned away from ticketed events. Perhaps you could volunteer to run an audit able cash-handling system for future events if you think it should be a standard option?
3). Yes, agree this is pants. But if there's no other way to cover venue costs it'll have to be done. Or if it's a fundraiser, they should be explicit about this.
4) this depends on how the event actually ran, the age of the pupils, and how voluntary participation was. But yes, staying yo the end is an absolute must. Just think how horrid it would be for the performers later on to watch the audience dwindling.

jossiesGiants1 Fri 10-Jul-15 10:11:22

this won't end well.. get your hard hat ready

BeautifulBatman Fri 10-Jul-15 10:12:54

YABVVU. And if it needs explaining to you why, there's no point.

Reignbeau Fri 10-Jul-15 10:13:33

Expecting children to sit in a stuffy hall for 3 hours while they wait for everyone to finish playing

This is to be expected, if you don't like it don't let him take part in concerts.

Raasay Fri 10-Jul-15 10:13:42


QuiteLikely5 Fri 10-Jul-15 10:13:57

Don't try to shift responsibility for your own short comings on the school.

If there was space I'm very surprised they didn't let you in. Maybe people had bought all tickets and not showed up or left after their dc performance.

springsprang Fri 10-Jul-15 10:14:14

YABU and need to be organised. Read the newsletter, write everything down on a calendar on the wall for all to see. Take responsibility for your own life like all the other working parents and then put your toys back in your pram.

Suzietastic Fri 10-Jul-15 10:14:44

yes she should have remembered but it seems very unfair to not let her in on the day.

BeautifulBatman Fri 10-Jul-15 10:16:27

Maybe tickets sold out and the hall was full for insurance purposes.

Icimoi Fri 10-Jul-15 10:17:10

As you probably realise for yourself in your heart of hearts, it isn't the function of the school to send out reminders to parents to buy tickets. However, I do find it a little surprising that they make parents buy tickets in advance for functions their children are performing at: I would have thought the sheer hassle of gathering in all those £3s beforehand would outweigh a lot of the benefit. Certainly it never happened when my children were in primary.

I also don't see why people suggest it would be so difficult for the school to take cash on the door. What schools regularly do at these functions is to sell things like drinks, and they manage that with no difficulty. Even if they thought the hall was going to be full, they could have invited people like OP to wait on the footing that quite often people book and then don't turn up.

CrystalHaze Fri 10-Jul-15 10:17:22

YANBU, OP. You're obviously far far busier than every other parent at the school, and therefore special rules should apply to you.

Hope your son wasn't too disappointed that you missed it.

Binglesplodge Fri 10-Jul-15 10:18:48

Gosh, fancy your child's school being inconsiderate enough to organise a music evening, give parents notice, ask them to book in advance so they could judge capacity (imagine the chaos of hundreds of parents just turning up on the night and not being guaranteed a seat), charging a very small amount per ticket when the music programme at the school almost certainly costs them a great deal to run, and expecting the children to listen to and appreciate each other's performance performances...

I can understand why you'd be annoyed at yourself and a bit embarrassed at not getting yourself organised but this isn't the school's fault I'm afraid...

Fizrim Fri 10-Jul-15 10:18:55

You are being super-unreasonable, brace yourself for impact!

I understand it was frustrating for you to miss the concert and your child would have been disappointed that you didn't hear him play. But don't blame the school for that.

GoblinLittleOwl Fri 10-Jul-15 10:19:49

You misread the instructions, forgot to get the tickets, and complain because your son has to spend three hours participating in a concert.
And you blame the school.
Fortunately there are plenty of other, supportive, appreciative parents who make these events worthwhile.

Only1scoop Fri 10-Jul-15 10:22:05


And as for the 'complaining about children sat in stuffy hall' just looks like sour grapes.

Eva50 Fri 10-Jul-15 10:22:40

I too would be upset at missing my son playing in a concert but would be annoyed mostly at myself. It's a shame that they couldn't have let you in to stand at the back but it may be, like our school, that they are only allowed a certain number in the hall for safety reasons. There would be plenty of space at the end because of the number of pig ignorant parents that leave as soon as their own child has performed leaving the last few children to perform to their parents and a load of empty seats.

The children who play in the concert should have to wait until the end and listen to the others playing. Its good manners.

SycamoreMum Fri 10-Jul-15 10:22:57

Just chalk it up to you forgot to purchase a ticket, buy your son a small token to say sorry for missing it and get on with your weekend. Pimms anyone? wine

Hoppinggreen Fri 10-Jul-15 10:23:31

You screwed up, the school could have chucked you a bone but we're under no obligation to.

Fizrim Fri 10-Jul-15 10:24:28

As part of the PTA, I have sold tickets on the night as well as taken pre-bought tickets and I have to say that buying them on the night is a nightmare! It means a huge queue and more staff are required. Much easier to sell tickets in advance.

We always have a couple of days where you can buy tickets for an event, the queue to pay for the last school disco was massive - previously, we've had parents complain it takes too long to get in if they have to wait to buy a ticket but they still don't buy them beforehand! Sometimes you just can't win!

2rebecca Fri 10-Jul-15 10:26:11

School concerts are usually oversubscribed in my experience. There are fire regulations re numbers they are allowed to let in. Charging for school concerts also normal. We usually had limited tickets as divorced and remarried so getting enough tickets for all those wanting to go was usually impossible. If you forgot to order them you were stuffed, we've had that before too, usually more my husband not being told of concert by his ex until past the ticket date.
It's not the schools problem though apart from them considering getting a larger hall for concerts.
Kids usually have to sit through the whole concert if playing or watching it. Surprised you weren't expecting this.

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