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Or is it just as rude to tell someone they look much younger as it is I tell people they look much older?!

(94 Posts)
BlueBananas Thu 09-Jul-15 20:40:36

I am 25, I look younger, always have, nothing I can do about it. I don't look that young as I don't get ID'd anymore, but I'm aware I don't look 25
But the amount of people that tell me I look "about 16 or 17" or that I don't look old enough to have kids, or that they thought I was "underage & pregnant" and find it hilarious is a fucking joke!
Eg. I met my mums friend for the first time a few weeks ago and I'm visibly pregnant, he said to me "you're pregnant? How old are you?!" I answered that I was 25, he said "oh God I thought you were about 16, you look so young!"! Who the fuck says this the first time they meet someone?! What if I was 16 and pregnant, what was he going to say?!
Another example my consultant at the hospital last week asked my age (read my fucking notes that are sat in front of you!) when I told him he said "oh God I thought you were about 18/19 I thought that was very young to be having a 3rd baby" hmm if you knew it was my 3rd is it not pretty obvious that I'm younger than 18? And even if I was 19 were you about to tell me I was a massive slut?! I mean, what is peoples next line going to be??
Honestly I get these comments connnnstantly!

Can you imagine if I was horrified at someone's age and told them they looked at least 10 years older - that would be considered the height of rudeness, but it's ok the other way round??
No. It's not. It's fucking rude. So stop it all of you! Stop it stop it stop it!!!

CamelHump Thu 09-Jul-15 20:42:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntyMag10 Thu 09-Jul-15 20:44:25

Is this another open letter blaming the entire forum.

fleamadonna Thu 09-Jul-15 20:44:28

as a 24 year old who gets ID'd and frequently questioned whether or not I'm old enough to do my job, I sort of agree.

but telling someone they look older might suggest they look haggard, hard worn, ugly.

HoneyLemon Thu 09-Jul-15 20:50:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueBananas Thu 09-Jul-15 20:51:13

Not sure what the firsts 2 replies mean? I'd have thought that rant was pretty self explanatory? confused

EElisavetaOfBelsornia Thu 09-Jul-15 20:52:41

I'm a lot older than you, and look younger than my age. You will grow out of the outrage.

dontbemoredog Thu 09-Jul-15 20:52:54

This is interesting, since everyone on this forum claims to look 15 years younger than their actual age.

FannyPlant Thu 09-Jul-15 20:54:14

I recently got asked what I was planning on doing after I left school. I'm 30. I actually don't mind.

londonrach Thu 09-Jul-15 20:58:49

No not rude. Makes people feel better. However you can tell most peoples age by looking in their eyes as they gain wisdom over time. Useless age wise prior to age 20. Dm running a news story yesterday re a lady who thought she looked in her 20s. Im afraid her eyes gave her away as they seen too much and gained too much knowledge for her be that young.

BlueBananas Thu 09-Jul-15 21:17:51

londonrach who does it make feel better??

ReginaBlitz Thu 09-Jul-15 21:41:57

But you don't act 25 either hmm

BlueBananas Thu 09-Jul-15 21:45:48

hmm how could you possibly know that Regina?

TRexingInAsda Thu 09-Jul-15 21:49:18

No it's nowhere near as rude because youth is seen as a positive thing. That's why it's much less rude to say 'ooh you look so slim' to someone than 'ooh you look so fat'. Must be annoying for you - as it is for slim people being told they're 'too slim' all the time, but in general, no, it definitely isn't seen as being 'just as rude'.

Smartiepants79 Thu 09-Jul-15 21:52:37

I've always been Young looking. Asked for ID all the time. It's sort of stopped now I'm in my 30s.
It has never bothered me. Especially now I'm older I consider it quite flattering.
I just can't be arsed to get worked up about this. If being considered younger than you are is the worst you've got to worry about you're in a happy place.
I'm also a short arse and couldn't care less about anyone's opinion about that either.

BlueBananas Thu 09-Jul-15 21:55:29

I do understand that of course people think it's a compliment, and I think telling a 60 year old they look 50 is a compliment, but I think when it's to an extreme as in telling me I look so young that I had my first child when I was 10 years old is rude
I think as a rule I just don't comment on people's age! Or weight for that matter, is too personal and easy to offend (I had PND and my weight plummeted an was repeatedly told I needed to eat a burger hmm )

Of course I never rant to people like I have here, my stock answer is generally "when I'm 40 and I look 25 I'll be glad ey!"
I just had a hormonal rage today

EatShitDerek Thu 09-Jul-15 21:57:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EatShitDerek Thu 09-Jul-15 21:58:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

daisywellies Thu 09-Jul-15 21:59:52

Twenty five nowadays is unusually young to have 3 children and people are bound to comment. Not sure why you think they're implying that you're a slut. They're just saying you look very young to be a mother of 3.

When you're forty and no one comments that you look young for your age you'll look back and sigh longingly.

CakeNinja Thu 09-Jul-15 22:07:17

A man asked me today how old I thought he was. I hate this question, why do people ask it? There's 2 reasons - they want to be told they look way younger than they are, and believe they do, or they want to get angry when you overestimate.

I looked hard at him. I took 10 years off what I thought and plumped for 42 (very generous, he showed visible signs of ageing, particularly sun damage, creases and weathered, not a criticism just a visual analysis).
He was 36. 36! shock and I actually thought his age was about 52.
I was mortified, he was fine but probably a bit put out.
Lesson of the day - don't fish for compliments!

I get id'd a lot for cigarettes and alcohol. Ffs if I was 17 I would struggle to spend nearly a tenner on 20 cigs and £20 on vodka!
I stil get nervous in a queue because I find it embarassing and feel so naughty buying them. I'm bloody 30z

aurorablues Thu 09-Jul-15 22:09:01

I understand your frustration, but trust me, you will appreciate it as you age.

I'm 36, have always looked younger and i was always being constantly reminded of it. I kept getting ID'd for a lottery tickets up until about 26/27 so you can imagine that i got ID'd a lot in pubs or supermarkets when buying alcohol. It was always incredibly frustrating.

At 36 it doesn't happen as much as i look older but people still think i look mid 20's.

I popped into a shop to grab some tobacco for a friend whilst on a day out a few months ago. I was ID'd and thought it was incredibly amusing and i was a bit pleased to be honest.

My mum used to go through similar when she was younger and she always used to say to me "When you hit your 40's and get mistaken for someone in their 30's, you will be pleased not peeved".

Dionysuss Thu 09-Jul-15 22:25:56

I get this a lot. I'm 27 with 3dc. My eldest is very tall, which makes her look a lot older. Most guess I'm around 18-19.

'Wow you look young'
Me if I'm in a good mood- ' it's good genes'
If I'm in a shitty mood ' you look old'

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Thu 09-Jul-15 23:12:06

I'm 24 and everybody always assumes I'm a lot younger than that. Most people tend to think I'm 18/19 but there have also been a few instances where people have assumed I'm even younger than that and thought I was still at school shock.

The ones that assume I'm still at school tend to ask things like how my GCSE's are going, what year am I in, what school do you go to, etc. They always get a hmm look on their face when I correct them and tell them how old I am. I have a feeling some don't believe me.

Maybe I'll be grateful for it when I'm older but right now I don't take people thinking I look like a child as a compliment.

redshoeblueshoe Thu 09-Jul-15 23:43:28

I agree its a fucking pain. And the you'll be grateful when your older well actually - I wasn't grateful then, and I'm not grateful now. When I was in my 20's it was really annoying at work as people seemed to equate youth with being immature and lacking knowledge.
I don't know how old I look now - but I saw Dexter Fletcher on tv yesterday and I'm sure I look a lot younger than him (I am not) grin

WhyStannisWhy Fri 10-Jul-15 00:14:47

I'll be 21 on Monday and look about 18. I don't mind it so much anymore but when I was 19 and pregnant and getting funny looks because people thought I was 16, it really grated on me.

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