To find eating so bloody, utterly confusing?

[stevienickstophat]

Right, I've come to the belated conclusion that I need to lose a lot of some weight.

I don't want to do WW or Slimming World, or Atkins or any lo-carb stuff. Been there, done that, fatter than ever.

I find MFP far too time-consuming and confusing.

I just want to make sustainable changes and learn how to make good choices so that the weight comes off slowly and naturally and stays off.

But the advice these days is all so confusing, I end up staring in the fridge like a bunny in the headlights, and give up before I even start.

Eat fruit. Don't eat fruit, it's full of sugar.
Eat protein. But not too much red or processed meat.
Eat veg. But not carby veg.
Eat cheese. Don't eat more than a matchbox sized amount of cheese, it's full of fat and salt.
Eat full fat everything. Full fat everything is full of calories.
Fill up on brown carbs. Don't eat carbs.

I don't know which way is up any more. I've got to the point where I feel guilty for eating an apple.

So, how should a 41 year old, 12 stone 4, size 14 woman eat in order to lose weight long term, please?

I need unequivocal advice in words of one syllable.

TIA

[cailindana]

Do couch to 5k. It's brilliant.

Eat what you want, don't drink fizzy drinks, cut down on wine.

You're not hugely overweight, you just need to do some exercise.

[MaidOfStars]

Start exercising (or up the intensity of your existing exercise).

[stevienickstophat]

Thanks, but I keep reading on here that it's food, not exercise, that gets the weight off.

I will try to move more, but it's the food that I struggle with because I have no willpower

[MaidOfStars]

Are you at a stable weight?

[Theycallmemellowjello]

Just eat less than 1600 cals in a day and do some exercise. I don't think there's a secret, diets inevitably involve a sense of denial unfortunately.

[stevienickstophat]

Are diet fizzy drinks ok? I keep reading that they're not, but they satisfy my sweet tooth for no calories.

I have one a day, in the afternoon instead of half a packet of biscuits.

[cailindana]

Forget the food then, stop bloody thinking about it. You have my divine permission to eat whatever you want.

Start bloody running. You have a wonderful body that works but it won't work forever. Strengthen up your heart, get some good muscles in your legs, feed it, keep it going. Enjoy it and stop seeing it as a problem.

[stevienickstophat]

My weight is stable, has been for ages, but I am fat.

The full length mirror in a hotel I stayed in told me so, in no uncertain terms

[cailindana]

Size 14 isn't skinny but it's not fat.

At some point in your short life you have to appreciate what you've got. You've got a body that works, that's a hell of a lot more than some have. If you genuinely want to do right by it, stop criticising it and finding fault with it. Use it before it starts giving up on you.

When you're 80 you'll look back on your 41 year old self and curse her for not enjoying what she had.

[Purpleball]

Look up fruit portions and eat 5 portions of fruit and veg a day. Sugary fruit is smaller in portions ie a handful of grapes not half a punnet
I lose weight if I drink less wine, my diet isn't that unhealthy. My portion sizes need work but I'm 29 weeks pregnant so I'll worry about that in a few months time

Another thing is half your plate veggies? Meat should be 1/4 of the plate, carbs another 1/4. I don't worry if it's red meat but I do eat fish a couple of times a week and chicken too.
I'm not a fan of low fat foods, the fat has usually been replaced with sugar or bulking agent of some sort

[stevienickstophat]

I used to run, but last time I tried C25K my knee played up.

Could I have carried on with a support?

The other thing that confuses me is calories. What is an acceptable amount of calories for, say, lunch?

I take microwave thingies to work (Innocent veg pot type of thing) but sometimes they're about 350 cals, which seems a lot. They often have rice in, too, so they're carby. Are they a good choice?

[cashewnutty]

OP - i could have (and have done previously) written your post myself.

I and a 52 year old woman 13st 5lb, size 16/18 and have tried every diet. Some appeal some don't. Counting calories and points is time consuming and boring. I have lost weight in the past but finding it more difficult as i get older.

On Monday i decided my strategy would be:

1. to cut out pretty much all crap. So crisps, chocolate, biscuits. BUT not be too draconian in this so i am not getting to the stage of cravings.
   
   
2. stop drinking wine - especially in the house during the week. BUT can have wine with a meal when out.
   
   
3. Try and cut down carbs and try and have one carb free/low meal a day (usually salad at lunch time)
   
   
4. Walk more. I have a Fitbit and am trying to do my 10 000 steps each day.
   
   
5. Try and make sure each meal is as healthy as possible with as few processed foods as possible
   
   
6. Reduce my portions sizes for all meals.
   
   I know it is only Thursday but i feel better already with this strategy and last night i had the best nights sleep i have had in a long time.
   
   Not sure if this is helpful to you but i am finding these simple changes helpful. Haven't weighed myself yet so only time will tell if it is working.

[cailindana]

STOP. STOP thinking about calories. Don't waste your precious time on them. Just STOP.

Try C25K again but if you get knee problems again then try something more low impact like swimming.

[stevienickstophat]

You see, Cailin, that's the attitude I had until recently, but a few things happened that have made me want to change.

I guess 5 a day is a good starting point. That's the first change, then.

[stevienickstophat]

That sounds good, Cashewnutty.

To further complicate matters, I've just moved house and currently have no oven or hob

So eating out/takeaways are looming and I really, really don't want to go down that road.

[cailindana]

Stevie, the whole analysing your food thing hasn't worked for you, you said so yourself, you've tried everything. Trying it all again just won't work.

You know what foods are healthy surely - fruit, vegetables, unprocessed things. But you've become so bogged down in analysis that you can't think clearly about it.

So just stop.

[BeautifulBatman]

cailindana 'Size 14 isn't skinny but it's not fat."

Sorry, but if you're only 5ft2 it is fat. I'm 6"2 and usually a 12-14. I weigh approx 13 stone and I'm not exactly skinny.

[stevienickstophat]

Yes, I do overthink things generally.

I read 'Beyond Chocolate' which advocates eating whatever you like, but mindfully, stopping when full, etc.

But things like that underestimate my greed. I basically turned into a massive termite

[notinagreatplace]

No snacks, no sweets, no seconds on any day that doesn't begin with an S.

Very straightforward, very sustainable.

www.nosdiet.com/

[stevienickstophat]

I'm 5ft 7.

[softhedgehog]

Try the no S plan

no sweets, sugar or snacks apart from days that have an S in them (saturday/sunday/special days eg birthday)

Basically means eating 3 sensible meals with nothing overtly sugary in them and nothing between meals and allowing yourself the odd treat at the weekend and on special days

there's a whole book about it and a website but that's the gist. should give you slow sustainable weight loss especially if you throw in some exercise.

[cailindana]

Do you consider yourself fat Batman?

[stevienickstophat]

That looks interesting, notin

[stevienickstophat]

And hedgehog

[ChampagneAndCrisps]

I can't run either because I already have the beginnings of arthritis in my knees.
I know it might not be possible - but can you go to a Personal Trainer even for a few weeks. Working with weights helped me lose a few pounds and tone up - reasonably quickly. But you do need to know what you're doing - so hence me suggesting a PT.
The other thing is not to deny yourself any food - but think about what you're eating. I tend to have one treat a day - and consciously remind myself of that if I'm tempted again later in the day.
I think keeping your body strong and flexible is really important as we age.