Advanced search

To wonder how bad a childs home life has to be before they are taken into care?

(95 Posts)
SerenYWythnos Tue 07-Jul-15 22:03:33

I obviously can't say too much, but really how bad does it have to be before social services step up the plate and actually fucking do something?!

I'm talking about a specific case here which is why I can't say too much, but SS, teachers and other professionals seem to be pandering to the parents who quite frankly couldn't look after a gold fish properly let alone raise a child. Think exposure to violence and severe neglect. It's the worst I've ever seen in all my years working with kids.

I'm absolutely aghast that these children are still with their mother, I really am. Just how bad does it have to be before they are removed?!

MyOneandYoni Tue 07-Jul-15 22:05:45

I don't know. Do you know the child in a professional capacity? Can you call NSPCC for advice?

SerenYWythnos Tue 07-Jul-15 22:07:08

Yes I do know them in a professional capacity. SS are involved, that's as much as I know.

mapmyface Tue 07-Jul-15 22:07:32

I work in the care system, their home life has to be beyond miserable and their parents given many chances to change or improve things before their children are taken into care. By the time they come to us, they are usually so damaged by their life at home.

barleyfieldsummer Tue 07-Jul-15 22:13:25

What looks unbearable to adults isn't always to children.

Lurkedforever1 Tue 07-Jul-15 22:16:29

Depends on the social worker, some seem keen to leave kids where they really shouldn't be and others appear to take kids needlessly. And the cynical part of me thinks how adoptable the kid is plays a part, cute babies are far more likely to be taken than screwed up teens

ShirleySmears Tue 07-Jul-15 22:16:52

Really very bad indeed and unfortunately, that's how it should be because, despite the best efforts of some wonderful people working to provide care for children, children still fare best if they can stay with their parents, even when those parents are truly awful.

barleyfieldsummer Tue 07-Jul-15 22:17:38

Indeed shirley

Fatmomma99 Tue 07-Jul-15 22:18:51

Another one agreeing with Shirley, and I have been a foster parent.

VixxFace Tue 07-Jul-15 22:19:06

map your post made my blood run cold.

barleyfieldsummer Tue 07-Jul-15 22:20:29

Or damaged by having everything familiar and safe taken from them?

Who knows?

drudgetrudy Tue 07-Jul-15 22:21:07

I have worked closely with Social Services in the past and I don't think that "adoptability" comes into it at all. However decisions do seem to be inconsistent.
Emotional abuse is hard to prove and often not taken seriously.
Social workers can't just take kids-they have to make a case to the courts. However it often puzzled me which cases they took to court and which they didn't.

stressstressystress Tue 07-Jul-15 22:21:08

they leave kids in situations where you wouldn't leave a dog, the care system is rubbish

Peaceloveandcustardcreams Tue 07-Jul-15 22:21:29

There's also a severe shortage of foster placements, which means children at risk need to be prioritised, and neglect is not as high up the list as, for example, sexual abuse.

Sad and frustrating.

dreamcometrue Tue 07-Jul-15 22:22:15

lurked I wondered how long it would be before the "cute babies taken so they can be adapted" crap was trotted out.
What evidence are you basing this on?
I can tell you that my ds was removed because his birth mom was so violent she couldn't look after him, because she took drugs throughout her entire pregnancy and left him in a multitude of dangerous situations, but yes of course the only reason the social workers removed him was because he was "cute"

mindthegap79 Tue 07-Jul-15 22:23:30

People are quick to criticise and blame social workers. But how many people would be prepared to be a foster carers? There's a huge shortage.

NothingUpMySleeve Tue 07-Jul-15 22:23:56

Totally agree with Shirley. I've seen my friend struggling with serious mental health issues, it's not ideal for her DC to be with her (particularly right now), but I can't picture any of the other options for where they could be, being anything apart from worse. Generally these situations have no perfect solutions.

barleyfieldsummer Tue 07-Jul-15 22:24:09

The problem identified as above is inconsistency which gives birth to 'cute babies stolen' rumours.

If an 8 month old is taken from a situation a 6 year old was left in, you can see why.

buttonmoonboots Tue 07-Jul-15 22:24:51

Very bad sadly. The level at which you need to report v the level at which they take into care is a big gap. They have such high thresholds that many people would find it shocking.

buttonmoonboots Tue 07-Jul-15 22:25:28

"And the cynical part of me thinks how adoptable the kid is plays a part, cute babies are far more likely to be taken than screwed up teens"

This is not true.

MayPolist Tue 07-Jul-15 22:26:15

Being fostered means being uprooted and torn apart from your loved ones,moving often from one home to another.However great the foster carers are (and they vary) this is pretty damaging for a kid emotionally.Their living circumstances have to be pretty bad to outweigh that.

ChopinLiszt Tue 07-Jul-15 22:26:22

I was investigated by SS as a result of malicious, baseless accusations. The sheer amount of time and resources that they wasted on me should have been embarrassing to them. I wonder whether I was an easy target? When I think what they could have done for children who actually needed their intervention.......makes me angry. OP I share your sentiments.

Lottapianos Tue 07-Jul-15 22:26:34

OP, i have worked with children on CP plans and in my opinion, there was far too much pandering from social workers to parents, and huge efforts going into 'keeping the parents on side'. The needs of the child often get overlooked in my experience at the expense of keeping the parents happy and some of these children have been living in what I considered to be highly abusive situations. It's hugely depressing and frustrating.

SerenYWythnos Tue 07-Jul-15 22:29:09

Sadly I believe these children are already very badly damaged. Severe emotional problems, violence, appalling social skills, filthy dirty and often in soiled clothes, not fed properly. The list is endless.

It's just so sad and actually its making me bloody angry!

PoundingTheStreets Tue 07-Jul-15 22:29:23

I'm not a social worker but I work in a field where I see this. Sadly, things have to be beyond awful before children are removed. The reason for that is because despite a lot of people's best efforts, the effect of removing a child from that chaotic background and putting them into care is even worse than leaving them where they are. sad

It's not the fault of social workers. Like many public services, there aren't enough of them and there aren't enough resources/foster homes/care homes/support for parents to make it work. If we want a better system without considering enforced sterilisation, everyone needs to take a lot more social responsibility and pay more taxes is pretty much what it comes down to.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now