to think I am totally unemployable after 6 years without a job?

[sadoloser]

In 2009 the place I had worked since leaving school in the mid 90's closed down and I was made redundent. My job was a technical job which is more or less obsolete due to technology.

Soon after losing that job my long term partner and I split up and I decided perhaps rashly to move to London to study with my savings. I did just about manage to finish my course but I got very little out of it. I was very lonely in London and became depressed and to boot I squandered all my money on too expensive rent. I had imagined it would be a new life for me but in the end come crawling back home.

At first I did try to get a job, I applied for everything but was lucky if I got a reply saying no thanks. Not a single interview in two long years. It awful I gained a lot of weight and became very depressed which was further impacted when I developed epilepsy after a very minor stroke only detected when I started having seizures which are now fully controlled. After my stroke I was put onto disability payments and no longer required to seek work.

I have now been unmployed for 6 years and have done practically zero in that time. I kept waiting to feel better but even as I recovered from my illnesses the inactivity and isolation shrunk my mind it feels like. I am ashamed of my body and appearance and hate meeting people, I feel in a constant fog and drift off in the middle of doing things and sometimes can't see how to do a simple thing. I am so not ready for work and feel like my life is over and i am only in my mid 30's.

My only work experiance is in that feild not customer service, no admin and so on just working with materials and a techology nobody uses anymore. I have tried to get volunteering work but so many people are going for it it has become competitive even for tea making and the like. I do see my doctors still but they don't have the time to really discuss my situation they just want to make sure my meds are ok.

AIBU to think I don't have a snowballs chance in hell to find a job, make a life for myself and maybe meet someone?

[YeOldTrout]

Sorry you're so down.
I honestly think your only significant obstacle is tending to give up on yourself.
This being MN.. do you have kids? One of my references after 8 yrs as a SAHM was for a toddler group I turned up at & helped run. I can't believe you couldn't get onto a preschool committee or school PTA if you really wanted to. They tend to bite people's hands off.

[YeOldTrout]

ps: and those places can be good opportunities for getting management, legal, admin & accounts experience (once you've settled in).

[sadoloser]

Sadly I have no children and it seems unlikely I ever will have them now especially as I have no husband. I do agree that I was responsible, I never thought things though properly at the time and then when I was kicked down I didn't get back up fast enough, now I do feel the cards are stacked against me, even though I am to blame.

[Shesaysso]

Why don't you start by volunteering in a local primary school. They will be more than happy to have you I'm sure. Even if it's just a morning a week. We have volunteers at our primary that do anything from listen to children read, to helping put up displays to gardening to sorting library books out. It will give you your confidence back. One day at a time and all that...

[raspberryriot]

For free online courses which are run by the government google: vision2learn - this might help you gain some a relevant qualification FOR FREE! There are also 24+ loans available to mature students so that you can retrain. Like others, I'd also highly recommend voluntary work - local councils usually run their own volunteering agencies (like a job centre or volunteers). It may be a long, hard road back into the workplace but your life is certainly not over in your mid-30s despite your past health difficulties. Small steps....

[Pastamancer]

How about volunteering with Girlguiding? We have all sorts of roles not all involve directly working with the girls if you don't want to. Admin, accounts, running meetings for leaders, looking after leaders, mentoring others etc. No previous experience is needed and you can be as involved as you like. It is extremely unlikely you will get turned away, most areas are short of volunteers. Feel free to pm me if you want to know more although I am out tonight doing DBS rechecks on 2 leaders.