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AIBU?

To think there was a male pill there would be a lot fewer babies?

35 replies

wayofseeing · 06/07/2015 14:51

Well provided they took it of course but this was in the press today about them developing a male pill and after reading some comments online and recalling discussions I have had with male friends I think a male contraceptive pill / injection would devastate the birth rate!

A friend of mines wife is currently carrying their first child but he has told me he did not really want a baby but went along with it to please his wife and is currently dreading fatherhood. My brother in law, loves his daughter but would not have choosen to have a child if he could go back. I only personally know one man who is the driving force behind having children in his relationship.

I am not saying all men, at all times want to avoid fatherhood but I can see that use of a male contraceptic especially an injection would lead to plummeting birth rates. Also would men clain not to be on the pill to dupe women wanting a child in the way men accuse women of saying they are on the pill but then not taking it to dupe men into fatherhood.

What do you think, scary don't you think?

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Lateswim16 · 06/07/2015 14:55

Liars and idiots with both sets of genitals however until men can carry a baby and give birth I think I would prefer my dds to control their own fertility to be honest.

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someonestolemynick · 06/07/2015 14:55

Your post reads a bit like you are suggesting that men shouldn't be able to control how they reproduce. Maybe it would mean fewer unwanted children (or children for whom the father isn't on board). Surely that can only be a good thing.

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Trapper · 06/07/2015 14:56

Why is it scary that men may be able to have access to a new form of contraceptive? If it reduces the nber of unwanted pregnancies, then it is a good thing surely?

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cardibach · 06/07/2015 14:58

I've no idea where you are coming from in this. Most babies are really not created against their father's will! You must know an odd selection of people. I think it would have no effect.
Actually, if we're going to generalise about people, I think it might make more sense to suggest it would increase the birth rate as young men could tell ONS partners they are on the pill to avoid condom use...though if the women had any sense they'd insist anyway for other reasons in that scenario! I also don't really think most young men are feckless.

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Lateswim16 · 06/07/2015 14:59

To add I know lots of men who wanted their kids and some who wanted more. My dh would have gone for dc5 but that wasn't happening! Wink

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wayofseeing · 06/07/2015 15:01

Well my friend who's wife is pregnant has no idea of just how reluctant he is.

I am not saying men shouldn't have birth control or that men never want children but they probably want children a lot less than we do. I am getting at the fact that some men might not tell women they are using contraceptive pills or the like even if the women believes she is trying to get pregnant with a willing partner.

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GinUpGirl · 06/07/2015 15:05

I think the idea that anybody, regardless of gender, can take a pill to stop them conceiving (for the most part, freak accidents etc.) an unwanted baby is an excellent thing.

I wouldn't stop taking the pill because my bloke was though. If the technology is there and available to men, I think it is every individuals responsibility to make sure they specifically don't contribute to the fertilization of an egg.

Ie, no transfer of a couples' responsibility from one gender to the other. Just the idea that you look after yourself.

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OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 06/07/2015 15:08

I think a reliable male pill would be fantastic - contraceptive failure rates are pretty high already so anyway of doubling up would be great. It would also really be beneficial to couples where the woman doesn't like hormonal contraception and they would rather not use condoms.

Personally, if my partner was so unwilling to be a father that he'd lie and actively deceive me about his fertility then I'd question whether he was
a) someone I wanted children with
b) someone I wanted to be with at all

I feel very sorry for women whose partners have declared they "only went along with kids for their wives sake" - I can only imagine the lack of engagement and the mindset that childrearing is a woman's job.

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Starbrite00 · 06/07/2015 15:10

Men have a choice in having children, just as much as women.
If they didn't want children then they could have used a condom.

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QuiteLikely5 · 06/07/2015 15:12

I think it's a great thing! Bring it on........and sharpish

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BabyFeets · 06/07/2015 15:12

A male pill is a good thing not everyone wants children. They should also make adopting easier

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helenahandbag · 06/07/2015 15:13

I would love it if DP could take a pill! Neither of us want children but both hate condoms so I'm actually considering a diaphragm to "double up" with the pill. If both of us could just take a pill I'd jump at the chance!

Also, my dad wanted kids and my mum went along with it "so he wouldn't resent her in later life". It's not just guys that can be dick-ish about it.

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silveroldie2 · 06/07/2015 15:35

I can see it being popular with cheating husbands who won't have to rely on the OW being truthful about taking contraceptives or using a condom which isn't 100%

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VanillaTwirl · 06/07/2015 15:47

I welcome the introduction of a male contraceptive pill/injection.

I have two boys, they should be able to control their own choices re babies as women do.
(Condoms and STIs aside, obviously).

I don't understand why anyone would be against it tbh.

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ShipShapeAhoy · 06/07/2015 16:06

A friend of mines wife is currently carrying their first child but he has told me he did not really want a baby but went along with it to please his wife and is currently dreading fatherhood. My brother in law, loves his daughter but would not have choosen to have a child if he could go back.

Your friend sounds like an idiot. If he doesn't want children so much but is having one because his wife does, what difference would the male pill make? He could take it secretly I suppose. That could kill the trust in their relationship but then so could pretending you want a baby when you don't. Except with the pill there wouldn't be an unwanted child so sounds like the better option to me.

Did your bil want children initially but has changed his mind since? If so a male pill would not have changed that.

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WhatsTheT · 06/07/2015 16:10

I think it's great but I won't be using it. I'm surprised I don't have to remind the OH to breathe some days. So I'll stick to remembering the important things like taking a pill :)

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Uhplistrailer · 06/07/2015 16:32

I read the title as you supporting the use of male contraception! How funny!

It's a flipping brilliant idea, same as Vasalgel will be, when it's ready for human use.

Anything that prevents unwanted pregnancies will benefit everyone.

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Writerwannabe83 · 06/07/2015 16:44

I would hope that men would want to take it so they could have some control over whether they become parents or not.

It's not nice to say but we all know there are women out there who consider 'accidentally getting pregnant' by stopping taking their pills etc and some women who actually do it.

It's easy to say "men should wear condoms if they don't want to be parents" but if that argument was a valid one then women wouldn't even need to be on the pill would they because the guys they were sleeping with should all be wearing condoms. We all know life isn't that black and white though.

The Pill is a good contraception for women who aren't fussed about condoms being used and it is a great back-up for when condoms are used but an accident happens.

I think men should have just as much control over parenthood as women have and that isn't by simply wearing condoms. Like I said, in some LTRs the men believe their partner when she says she is taking precautions but that isn't always the case and having a Male Pill could prevent a baby being conceived in such underhand circumstances.

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Mygardenistoobig · 06/07/2015 16:48

I think it's a good idea.

I would prefer my ds to take it and be in control of his own reproduction rather than rely on a woman to do it.

No idea if it would dramatically reduce the birth rate.

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Cornettoninja · 06/07/2015 17:00

I reckon there are plenty of men who would use it (although I'm pretty sure I read it involved an injection directly into the balls so that may affect its popularity Confused). Condoms are great and all, but I don't think there can be any denial that skin to skin just feels better hence the popularity of hormonal contraception (ideally in a long term relationships after a sexual health check). There's a lot of trust involved for a man whose partner is in full control of contraception and most of the time that's fine, but it's incredibly naive to think that people don't lie for a multitude of reasons.

I would rather any sons I may have, have the opportunity much the same as any daughters to control their own fertility without having to resort to permanent sterilisation.

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TheQueenOfSheba · 06/07/2015 17:02

I have always thought this!!! Yes, I believe that, if men could take the pill, there would be a lot less 'unwanted' pregnancies.

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Getthewonderwebout · 06/07/2015 17:28

Would love men to have more control over having children. Might get some control over the population of children growing up unaware of who their father is, or reluctant fathers, or mothers constantly fighting for financial support from someone who didn't want to be a parent.

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SurlyCue · 06/07/2015 17:36

Well logically it will reduce the birth rate as if a couple are both taking the pill then double protection right?

However i wonder if the male pill will have anywhere near the same physical and hormonal side effects as the female one does? If so then i cant see many jumping to take it. I refuse to take hormonal contraception after experiencing what it did to me (which was mild by comparison to many) and i wouldnt blame anyone else for doing the same.

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SurlyCue · 06/07/2015 17:39

I would prefer my ds to take it and be in control of his own reproduction rather than rely on a woman to do it.

Why would he be relying on a woman? There are still condoms even without the male pill!

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SurlyCue · 06/07/2015 17:42

I can see it being popular with cheating husbands who won't have to rely on the OW being truthful about taking contraceptives or using a condom which isn't 100%

Do you think that about the female pill too? What a funny way to think.

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