to change DS surname

[nutdust]

Brief background:
I'm married but have retained my surname. Have toddler twin DSs who will be our only DC. For us, its not necessarily automatic that children take their father's, as opposed to their mother's, surname but in the fog of early days parenthood we ended up going with DH's, a decision I now regret...

DH surname is one of the top 3 most common in the UK. DSs do not have very unusual first names, so we now realise that their full names sound very...ordinary. My surname is quite unusual; not tricky to pronounce/spell or posh, just quite rare. I want to change their surname by deed poll to mine so they aren't one of a million so- named kids & to help them be more identifiable & unique. But I'm worried that they will then have different surnames on their birth cert than their passport, for example, & they might not understand why or not like that, as they grow older.

AIBU to change their surname?

(I'm canvassing opinions on the potential name CHANGE, not the wider principle of whether a child should take their father's surname automatically ).

[Theycallmemellowjello]

I have seen my birth certificate about twice in my life - I don't think a discrepancy between that and passport is a reason not to change. I'd go for it.

[Angeale]

It's no bad thing to have an ordinary name.

Mine is very unusual. I can never be anonymous.

[Hygge]

Could you double-barrel them?

Would that be a compromise for both of you, that would keep the birth certificate name and add your more unusual name to it.

[CainInThePunting]

Yes, of course you can, both with parental responsibility need to authorise it but the process is very straightforward. You can change it completely or double barrel. DS is now my name on all official stuff including passport and NI number.

[whois]

Double barell. Change to yours. Make up a awhile new one. Do what you want.

[ChunkyPickle]

It's easy. I've changed DS2's surname to mine, because I'd been regretting it since he was registered. DP had no issue with it, DS1 didn't care, so now DP and DS1 have the same name and DS2 and I have the same name.

[GinUpGirl]

Yeah change them. Noone will bat an eyelid.

[MammaFett]

(Obviously used different names) I was born Smith (dad's name) changed to Jones when my mum got re married (step dad's name) and then it got changed to Peters when I got married. The only annoying this is when I have to send off/show official paperwork, I have to show my birth cert change of name deed and marriage cert. It confuses some people, but over all it doesn't bother me.

[ComposHatComesBack]

It shouldn't be automatically the father's name and in fact it probably makes more sense to give a child the mother's name as women are overwhelmingly more likely to be the resident parent in the case of separation, but in your case that ship has sailed now. Changing their names on little more than a whim - that they'll sound more interesting and unique - sounds a bit silly to me. Changing your children from John and David Jones to John and David De La Cruz won't make them any more interesting, engaging, unique, well rounded or special, they become individuals regardless of what their surnames are.

Will their father consent to the change, (assuming he has parental responsibility) if he was adamant they should have his surname when they were born, what makes you think he's changed his mind?

[Fizrim]

I think that's an odd reason to change a surname tbh. Is that really the only reason - that you think they sound 'ordinary'?

[PourMyselfACupOfAmbition]

Why do you want them to be more 'unique'?

[TheMoa]

I have been thinking about this.

My children are all under 15.

Does changing their surname make exam entry/University applications/DBS checks/weddings/job apps. etc more complicated?

I, and they, would like to change their surname, but if passport applications etc. would be hard work, perhaps it's not worth it?

[Jewels234]

In an age where people with unusual names are very easily googleable, I would consider carefully whether it's a good thing. I would much rather be more anonymous, not because I've done anything particularly bad, but I do have to be constantly aware of what is on the Internet with me (You Tube videos, Facebook etc.).

[SavoyCabbage]

I don't think there is anything wrong with it particularly but there's nothing wrong with having an ordinary sounding name. In fact it might be a good thing in these googling times.

[Raasay]

I'm the only one with my name in the world.

As a result I am highly googable.

If you put in my name you get everything. Every newspaper mention, every comment on local planning consultations, my address, linked in, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

All with absolutely no question that it was posted by me/written about me.

It has made me pretty cautious about what I put out into the world as I am very traceable.

If I was called Jane Smith you might find the same info but you'd have to work much harder to prove it was all about the same person.

[Angeale]

I hear you on that raasay

[anon33]

Sorry but I think YABU to want to change their name purely for wanting them to have a yoonique name.

[19lottie82]

I think YABU tbh. You shouldn't be able to change your child's name just because you think it's not interesting enough. You chose their name that's on their birth certificate. live with it. If your kids want to change it when they're older then so be it.

[Plarail123]

YABU ordinary is good. I have an usual name and it is tiresome having to spell and or explain it all the time.

[SavoyCabbage]

For my dd's homework she had to google her own name and she was a bit freaked out to see her name and photo on the 48 hour famine website the school had set up. And in the results list for district cross country.

[WeAllHaveWings]

Sorry YABU, but that is silliest reason I've ever heard for a surname change.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

They have their name, leave it be. There are so many more valuable and enduring things you can do for your kids to make them unique, identifiable and memorable.

[titchy]

Agree leave it. There's something very comforting about sharing your name with millions of others and not being easily traceable. I had a very unusual name pre-marriage and absolutely loathed it. And that was pre-internet days.

[nutdust]

Some really useful thoughts, thank you