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To think this was bitchy not helpful?

(38 Posts)
Attilathehunny Mon 06-Jul-15 06:48:24

I just had Pilates class. First time ever. I'm a long / thin and my body type is kind that is basically impossible to build muscle. However, I'm pretty fit, walk everywhere and have a very physical job where I won't sit down for at least 8 hours. So after the class the instructor tells me I am very weak and do I have a desk job? I say no quite the contrary I have a very physical job. So she keeps saying it wow you have very little back strength & such bad posture! Do you spend all day crouched over then? Er no.. Bit disheartened by it all! I'm no bodybuilder but assumed I could hold my own! So AIBU? Bitchy or giving me advice?

Tootsiepops Mon 06-Jul-15 06:53:12

Sounds like she's trying to make you feel although you need to keep going to her Pilates class to get stronger and correct your posture. Instructor has a vested interested - I wouldn't take it to heart .

musicalendorphins2 Mon 06-Jul-15 06:55:45

She is just giving advice. How are your joints?

mrsdavidbowie Mon 06-Jul-15 06:56:47

Not bitchy...just maybe a bit blunt in her feedback.
Your core isn't strong...nothing to do with your fitness levels. I am the opposite..I'm quite sedentary but have a strong core after four years of pilates.

JessFine Mon 06-Jul-15 06:57:19

I think this maybe quite normal for pilates.

After my first class the teacher said 'you're obviously not used to physical exercise or movement' - I had a quite physical job too.

Obviously they are used to seeing people who've been doing pilates for a while, they should realise we don't naturally come like that grin

Optimist1 Mon 06-Jul-15 06:59:14

Not bitchy, but definitely not professional! She should be talking in terms of improving your back strength and posture, not expressing surprise at their failings.

QuiteLikely5 Mon 06-Jul-15 07:00:07

That was a early class!

She's giving you an ho eat opinion. Some people can take it some can't.

You can't.


Attilathehunny Mon 06-Jul-15 07:01:54

That's what I thought.. If she had said we need to work on your back muscles etc then I wouldn't have had a problem. Just seemed a little harsh!

Teabagbeforemilk Mon 06-Jul-15 07:02:31

Not bitchy. It's her observations, maybe not put in the best way but not bitchy.

SitsOnFence Mon 06-Jul-15 07:03:09

Not bitchy, but devoid of tact by the sound of it!

silverstreak Mon 06-Jul-15 07:03:14

Well doesn't sound bitchy so much as completely tactless and thoughtless! Some people are just like that.... Also would depend if she said it in a friendly/smiley tone? Did she say it as a precursor to offering advice on how to improve it, or a plan of sine kind? Or was it just a rather unnecessarily negative observation out of the blue?! If the latter then yes or could've been a bit bitchy! Did she have a chunky/roundish frame that could've meant she was a bit jealous (albeit unconsciously!)?!

AuntyMag10 Mon 06-Jul-15 07:03:50

I think she could have spoken to you from a point of pointing out where your weak areas are and how to improve rather than labouring the point.

Attilathehunny Mon 06-Jul-15 07:12:20

I'm pretty sure she wasn't jealous of me! - I have 10 years on her and.. well she was a hot blond Pilates instructor! Nice idea though. In her defence I've joined a weight training class now so she's given me a kick up my ( scrawny) arse

silverstreak Mon 06-Jul-15 07:17:12

Haha - yes the minute I sent that I did think, Hmm, Pilate's instructor - maybe possibly not chunky and round! smile but all good then op! Maybe I should book me a Pilate's class.....! grin

milkysmum Mon 06-Jul-15 07:21:40

Doesn't sound bitchy at all really. Pilates highlighted weakness in areas you would never imagine- I am slim, a keen runner, but when I started Pilates there were so many areas in my body that were obviously very weak and I need of work it was untrue!

YouTheCat Mon 06-Jul-15 07:29:25

Did she offer anything constructive so you can address the issue?

I'd find another class.

My yoga instructor knows my limitations (because I'm short and fat) and we work with what we have. He's never personal and always gives constructive ideas to help. He even sorted out my lower back pain.

OllyBJolly Mon 06-Jul-15 07:46:48

She might be one of those fitness instructors who only knows her own discipline and therefore measures everyone against that. A yoga teacher might be more observant of suppleness and balance than core strength, and an aerobics teacher would be looking at stamina. I don't know if instructors are trained in giving feedback sounds not

Is she right? Lots of people with physical jobs have bad posture and that's what leads to issues later. If you think she knows what she's talking about I'd stick with her. Directness can be good if you can take it at face value rather than let it demotivate you.

ChuffinAda Mon 06-Jul-15 07:48:43

A lot of very fit people have shocking core strength. It's nothing personal and it's the point of the class surely?

Athenaviolet Mon 06-Jul-15 07:54:24

I've never tried Pilates. My posture is shocking (large chest), maybe I should go if it'd help.

If that's the feedback the instructor gives to a lean fit person goodness knows what she'd say to me! blush

Me624 Mon 06-Jul-15 08:41:54

I've been doing Pilates for nearly a year now. I do work in a desk job and do very little regular exercise although I do walk everywhere. At my first class my instructor came over to help me, put her hand on my stomach and said, "Wow, you really have no stomach muscles AT ALL do you?!" She was nice though and said not to worry as we'd work on it, and now a year later I do have some semblance of a core.

Appleblossom82 Mon 06-Jul-15 08:55:01

Yanbu she sounds very rude. Id find another class.

marujadelujo Mon 06-Jul-15 09:56:59

She kept telling you were weak and she asked repeatedly if you have a desk job, OP? That's not being honest or giving advice. The weakness comment is far too general to be useful, and the only reason she'd ask repeatedly if you have a desk job is to undermine you.
There are fitness instructors around who have good communication skills, and don't need prove their authority by putting you down, but it can take effort and luck to find them. Depending on the alternatives, it might be worth putting up with a second-rate instructor, especially if now she feels she's shown who's boss and stops the stupid comments. I couldn't put up with them for long, though.

SirChenjin Mon 06-Jul-15 10:01:04

Find another instructor - one who listens to her customers, doesn't put them down, and offers constructive advice. There are plenty more out there more worthy of your time and money.

Hoppinggreen Mon 06-Jul-15 10:05:51

Sounds a bit tactless and use of the word "weak" isn't very nice but it is possible that the muscles you need for Pilates aren't well developed yet.
I'm pretty unfit and chubby but I'm strong and bendy as well so although running and aerobics would kill me I'm very good at Yoga and Pilates, it's a different thing to general fitness. There are people half my size and probably age in our Pilates class who are amazed at what I can do.
However, if you aren't happy with your instructor then maybe look for another if it's possible, feedback should be helpful.

MissShunImpossible Mon 06-Jul-15 10:09:49

agree. No matter whether or not you should be able to "take" her advice, you need to be able to trust her to look after you. That's a personal and subjective thing. Other people might love her to the point manner, you don't and that's fine!

Other pilates instructors are available wink

tbh when I went to pilates it would swap between 2 instructors. One was just lovely (and beautiful... I might have had a wee girl crush blush), the other was fine, but not a patch on the other. I worked so much harder for the first one, and completely trusted her to try more difficult moves etc. There was really nothing wrong with the other one, just we didn't click as well.

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