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... never to go out with ExH again?

(32 Posts)
MagicalHamSandwich Sun 05-Jul-15 20:56:58

The ex and I are reasonably good friends and we meet on a semi-regular basis.

So today is sweltering hot and I run into him at the local lido. We're both on our own. Great, let's grab a pint at their bar!

The bar is not exactly the Ivy but it's definitely the 'posh' one of the two places at the lido and features some (hideous IMHO) supposedly Italian style décor including an array of lemon trees.

So we're sitting at a table on the terrace when ex spots a lemon tree with two still green lemons behind him and promptly proceeds to pick one of them off the tree. The manager walks by, sees him, informs him in a really annoyed tone that he's not to do that and takes the lemon off him.

At that point I'm already really embarrassed and apologise. Not so ex, who starts to argue and tries to explain to the woman that it's his right to take the lemon seeing as he paid for a drink. She calls him a moron, he calls her a fucking cunt and before I know it I've been thrown out of the lido on account of his behaviour and banned for the summer. shock

Ex then accused me of being a stuck up bitch for not taking his side. Needless to say, I was absolutely mortified!

I've never seen him do this in public though he did often behave in a similar way when we were married (back then it usually pertained to him feeling entitled to grope me and getting pissed off when I said no).

AIBU to regard this as sort of a friendship deal breaker? He's just so incredibly entitled - and thanks to him I'll have to find a new lido!

IUseAnyName Sun 05-Jul-15 21:01:07

Sounds like a dick! Id be glad To be rid of him. Do you have children?

IUseAnyName Sun 05-Jul-15 21:01:22


OhEmGeee Sun 05-Jul-15 21:02:00

You even have to ask?

MagicalHamSandwich Sun 05-Jul-15 21:03:21

No children, thank goodness! I had a series of MCs which I took really hard at the time.

When he behaves like today, though, I'm honestly glad on behalf of my potential DC whose dad he ended up not being.

He is a dick!

MagicalHamSandwich Sun 05-Jul-15 21:05:35

I don't really feel I have to ask. It's just that ex is so absolutely convinced that he's in the right that I'm now somewhat uncertain and worrying this may just be my leftover resentment over my marriage speaking.

He is being a total wanksock, though, isn't he?

SnapesCapes Sun 05-Jul-15 21:10:40

Calling anyone a fucking cunt is entirely friendship deal-breaker material. Unless they shot him or set him on fire. Which is potentially how he's going to end up if he doesn't stop being such a bollock jockey.

You sound lovely. New lido, new friend I think. And block his bloody number.

IUseAnyName Sun 05-Jul-15 21:10:56

I wouldnt be spending anymore time with him tbh. You wouldnt have a friend talk to you like this would you?

SylvaniansAtEase Sun 05-Jul-15 21:17:04

Drop him, seriously. Quietly and delicately drop him from your life.

Don't let this 'friendship' get any more established. He is a twat.

'Do not associate with twats, lest one become a twat oneself' - said someone very wise once.

Mygardenistoobig Sun 05-Jul-15 21:23:02

He sounds vile.

Don't socialise with him again.

crustsaway Sun 05-Jul-15 21:23:27

Well now you know why they say an ex is an ex for a reason.

Mind you, you are a bit of a snob too. Banging on about it not being the ivy, really, oh dear, how awful for you!

Verdict - both unreasonable for totally different reasons grin

Icimoi Sun 05-Jul-15 21:31:15

crustsaway: OP obviously isn't "banging on", she's simply describing the place. Are you just looking for an excuse to be objectionable?

BestZebbie Sun 05-Jul-15 21:32:09

Consider it a free gift from the universe to remind you that it is a positive thing to no longer be married to him?

BlueBananas Sun 05-Jul-15 21:35:07

Wtf is a lido??

crustsaway Sun 05-Jul-15 21:35:58

The OP is actually describing a place in a rather snobbish fashion Icimoi. What's with the asking me if im looking for an excuse of something or other? Is that how you operate too then.

crustsaway Sun 05-Jul-15 21:38:09

Do you look down on places of leisure if they arent 5 star? If you do, then I'd say don't use them then!

19lottie82 Sun 05-Jul-15 21:38:55

wtf is a lido??

crustsaway Sun 05-Jul-15 21:39:56

A lido is a place with an open air swimming pool isnt it? well that's my take on it.

MagicalHamSandwich Sun 05-Jul-15 21:42:41

That's how I'm trying to see it, yes. His enormous sense of entitlement is one the main reasons I left him.

I just don't get it. It's a lemon FFS. Ex is a professional and makes a very decent salary. There's no reason why he can't buy himself a whole sack full of unripe lemons!

Same attitude towards his jobs: he's got great qualifications but never stays anywhere longer than a year because he feels he should be respected more and promoted faster. He applied to my firm after I got my second promotion in as many years and told them at the interview he wanted to start a level above mine. They didn't take him - good on them!

I just don't get it! But, yes, I'm currently feeling very glad he's my ExH and very inclined to make him an ex-friend, too!

crustsaway Sun 05-Jul-15 21:46:13

Its a dump and no friend thing either. Maybe you should ask yourself why you wont do that.

TheCowThatLaughs Sun 05-Jul-15 21:47:00

I'd love to live near a lido envy
And yes, your ex sounds awful

NoArmaniNoPunani Sun 05-Jul-15 21:48:43

Is a lido like that dodgy looking Rios place in Kentish town?

SolidGoldBrass Sun 05-Jul-15 21:48:48

What a cock! Definitely cut him off - as you don't have DC you are under no obligation to have anything to do with him ever again.
If you really love that lido and there isn't another one nearby, you could try emailing them a big apology, explaining he's your XH and his behaviour has reminded you exactly why you divorced him...

MagicalHamSandwich Sun 05-Jul-15 21:51:21

Yes, a lido is an open air swimming place. The one in question is at a lake side, not a pool.

And, FWIW, I've never actually been to the Ivy (and don't particularly want to go). I'm an admitted snob when it comes to hotels on account of having slaved away at some of London's finest in my uni days - the description of the lido bar was simply for background, though. Lidos around here range from seriously dodgy to MC fortress. The one I (used to ... ) frequent happens to be an in-between and was chosen due to its proximity to my flat.

MagicalHamSandwich Sun 05-Jul-15 21:54:09

Not sure I even want to go back there TBH. I don't think I can face that bar manager ever again without dying of embarrassment!

There's a riverside one close to my place of work, might try that one.

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