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to not care about wedding reception arrangements

(46 Posts)
Ludoole Sun 05-Jul-15 18:25:04

Dp and i get married in just over 3 weeks. Simple register office with a small buffet reception in a local pub.
My dm wants to know what food is being provided, how the table will be set, what entertainment/music will there be confused I dont care about any of these things and have asked the pub to just do a general buffet.
I dont see the point in 'dressing' the room as we are only planning to be there for a couple of hours. (Dp is terminally ill and tires easily)
Dm thinks iabu, i dont... Thoughts?

confusedandemployed Sun 05-Jul-15 18:26:42

No YANBU. It's your wedding, you can do what you like.

I hope you have a lovely day flowers

FunnyCatVideo Sun 05-Jul-15 18:27:51

What confused says. Yanbu. Hope you have a great day!

OneDayWhenIGrowUp Sun 05-Jul-15 18:31:53

It's your & your DP's day, YANBU. For what it's worth, I'd be with you in not minding at all.

DorotheaHomeAlone Sun 05-Jul-15 18:33:12

She's being unreasonable. Do it exactly how you want it and don't waste time that could be better spent with your DP. Wedding planning is a faff that you can understandably do without.

Anon4Now2015 Sun 05-Jul-15 18:33:52


Just tell her you want to surprise her!

Wishful80sMontage Sun 05-Jul-15 18:35:33

Your and dp's day your choice. I'm sorry to hear about your DP op hope you have a wonderful wedding day flowers

Tryharder Sun 05-Jul-15 18:35:45

If I ever get married again (unlikely) I will do as you are doing.

I can't bear the idea of project managing a big, staged wedding. A buffet in a pub sounds fantastic.

OwlinaTree Sun 05-Jul-15 18:39:02

Tell her to contact the pub for more details. If it matters to her but not you let her sort it with them herself. I hope you have a lovely day.

ASettlerOfCatan Sun 05-Jul-15 18:43:06

YADNBU. Don't even worry about it. We did a random buffet. Literally hired a room left my dad in charge of a buffet and a friend brought music. We loved it. I didn't care a jot about food as long as there was some.

Hope your day goes well and you and your dp have as much time together as possible. The marriage is the important part!

GloGirl Sun 05-Jul-15 18:45:10

Yy to telling her to contact the pub. She can fuss with them.

Fibbertigibbet Sun 05-Jul-15 18:49:09

YANBU. I hope you and your DP have a lovely day and enjoy yourselves

Jewels234 Sun 05-Jul-15 18:49:52

YANBU. It's your day.

Leeds2 Sun 05-Jul-15 18:58:48

Any chance that she wants to decorate the room herself, as a sort of wedding contribution?

BrianButterfield Sun 05-Jul-15 18:59:49

Maybe your mum is worried that you'll regret not paying attention to these things later on? With your DP being ill it's natural you just care about the actual wedding but perhaps she doesn't want you to miss out on a wedding and is seeing you would really like a bit more fuss made?

Kundry Sun 05-Jul-15 19:07:07

Tell her to ask the pub but make sure the pub knows not to change anything on her say so!

steppedonlego Sun 05-Jul-15 19:07:09

Perhaps she's angling to decorate the room herself so she feels like she's contributing in some way. Perhaps mention that you haven't got the time/money to worry about it and see what she says?

sooperdooper Sun 05-Jul-15 19:11:33

She's just showing an interest, no harm done smile I think often people just ask these kind of things about a wedding because some people are very concerned about them - but maybe like people say she'd like to contribute to decorations etc? I would tell her what you've arranged and that you're not really bothered about anything more but if she did want to do anything then to arrange direct with the venue? ( if, of course you're happy for her to do that)

LondonLady29 Sun 05-Jul-15 19:14:03

YANBU. Your wedding, your choice. Understandable your DM would ask those questions though, just say you've decided to keep it simple. Have a wonderful day sorry to hear about your DP. X

Ludoole Sun 05-Jul-15 19:22:17

Thanks all smile
Id be happy to have the ceremony and go home in all honesty. Im moving in with him the week before so its rushed anyway. Dm is on holiday the week im moving with my db and ds's so i shall be run off my feet with the move and dp's chemo treatment.

Ive just been blunt with her and told her i cant be worrying about reception issues when im just hoping dp makes it to the day!! Hes doing ok, but infection is a massive risk and he looks like hes going to drop some days...sad
I am determined to enjoy the day regardless. After all its not the wedding thats important, its the marriage smile

nilbyname Sun 05-Jul-15 19:27:55

You're totally within your rights to not give a toss about that stuff!

I hope you have a really lovely day, and your mil contact the pub and she gets to take some small elements of control.

I say this with nothing but kindness. But perhaps your mil is latching on to these little details in the face of the trauma of facing down the illness of her son.


ImperialBlether Sun 05-Jul-15 19:32:59

Tell her to back right off! I hope you have a lovely day. I'm so sorry to hear about your poor man. Wishing him all the best.


FeelingSmurfy Sun 05-Jul-15 19:34:30

In the years to come you won't look back and regret not spending time on planning every detail, you will look back and regret not spending that time with your partner

Whatever you choose someone always has a problem with it anyway, less time you have spent on it the less the moaners get to you!

HermioneWeasley Sun 05-Jul-15 19:34:44

Agree, it's massively unimportant. Have a lovely day with your DP

TheCatsMother99 Sun 05-Jul-15 19:37:02


I think it sounds great to be honest, it sounds all about the fact you're getting married & that's the important thing (and the whole point).

I hope you both have an amazing day and your DP/DH doesn't find the day too tireing. Sending you all my best wishes.

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