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To feel sorry for the mother of the Tunisian gunman

(145 Posts)
namechange4this123 Sun 05-Jul-15 14:27:57

I don't think her upset can even remotely compere to the grief of those whose loved ones were murdered in Tunisia.

However I can't imagine how awful it must feel to find out that your child has done such a terrible thing, and have to live with the guilt of this for the rest of your life.

AliceInSandwichLand Sun 05-Jul-15 14:44:03

I would think her upset absolutely could compare. Not only has she already lost one son (struck by lightening) before, but also she has now lost her eldest son and also has to deal with the knowledge that he wasn't who she thought he was, the guilt that maybe she should have noticed something, her feeling of responsibility about the murders, etc. I feel dreadfully sorry for her.

Gemauve Sun 05-Jul-15 14:46:27

"My son is a victim like all the others."


Altinkum Sun 05-Jul-15 14:51:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thenightsky Sun 05-Jul-15 14:53:25

I cannot imagine her awful grief and sadness poor woman. When I saw the dreadful picture of her boy laid dead in the road I immediately thought of my own DS who is almost the same age and same body shape and size.

BabyFeets Sun 05-Jul-15 14:53:37

I feel sorry for her because she must feel embarrassed I would

PurpleSwift Sun 05-Jul-15 14:55:12

I think embarrassed is an understatement

BeyondTheWall Sun 05-Jul-15 14:55:21

Agree with alices post. Yanbu

AuntyMag10 Sun 05-Jul-15 14:56:17

Embarrassed and ashamed that this evil monster was her child.

Gemauve Sun 05-Jul-15 14:56:21

no matter what he did, she lost her son

That doesn't make him a victim.

He had a choice over shooting people.

The victims didn't have a choice over being shot.

Altinkum Sun 05-Jul-15 14:58:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack Sun 05-Jul-15 14:58:33

She is an innocent woman who has lost not just her physical son, but her idea of him as well.

She is a victim in this too.

Gemauve Sun 05-Jul-15 14:59:41

I didn't say he was a victim

No, but she did. I took the quote from the linked story.

SueDunome Sun 05-Jul-15 15:00:24

I think it makes his mother a victim, albeit one who has to live with the consequences.

BeyondTheWall Sun 05-Jul-15 15:00:27

He is a victim. A different kind of victim to his victims, and it doesnt negate what he did, but nonetheless he died because of someone elses cause. Notice the IS big bosses arent the ones risking their lives for their beliefs.

downgraded Sun 05-Jul-15 15:01:35

Well whether he was a victim too depends really doesn't it?

If he was taken in a vulnerable state and brainwashed, then I'd say he was a victim.

Child suicide bombers are victims as far as I'm concerned.

BeyondTheWall Sun 05-Jul-15 15:01:53

And his mother is a victim, and the families of him and the people he killed are victims, and the tunisian people are victims.
That doesnt mean they are all equal!

Gemauve Sun 05-Jul-15 15:02:10

A different kind of victim to his victims, and it doesnt negate what he did, but nonetheless he died because of someone elses cause.

But he had choices, and moral agency.

CalmYoBadSelf Sun 05-Jul-15 15:02:25

Embarrassed would be the least of her worries. She has lost her son, she has lost the boy she loved, the gentle child of her memories. Rightly or wrongly, she will be feeling guilt, looking back and questioning everything she thought she knew. Her whole world must be shaken, poor woman.

To say she must be embarrassed is trivialising it to say the least. She is a victim of ISIS just as much as the bereaved families are

ChwatFeechers Sun 05-Jul-15 15:05:23

I don't have any sympathy for her, no. She raised the horrible bastard, after all.

Bambambini Sun 05-Jul-15 15:11:24

She's a mother and has lost her son in a horrible and shocking way. She also has to deal with what he did and it all being played out in front of the world. Unless she was a horrible, abusive woman who encouraged him then she must be hugely hurting.

LibrariesGaveUsPower Sun 05-Jul-15 15:12:32

I feel horribly sorry for her. Yes. She has lost her son and she will not be permitted to grieve for him: the world sees him as a monster and the extremists as a hero.

I think when you read the story it sounds as if she is in denial. She has to believe he was brainwashed and therefore a victim because emotionally she cannot square what he has done with the son she knew. I've seen very similar statements in the past from the parents of people who have committed horrific crimes.

That doesn't mean that I agree he was a victim. But I do think it's perhaps unsurprising that she feels that at the moment.

Mrsjayy Sun 05-Jul-15 15:17:07

Its just awful that poor woman the son she raised murdered people and is now dead too she has lost a child she didnt know the child she thought she knew was like everybody elses son . His father spoke out after the murders talking about the shame he felt.

Bakeoffcake Sun 05-Jul-15 15:20:18

I don't feel sorry for her because I don't know her, she may have had something to do with him being a mass murderer.

AliceInSandwichLand Sun 05-Jul-15 15:28:55

ChwatFeechers, perhaps you don't have adult children yourself? I'm about the same age as the Tunisian woman, and my DDs are adult/near adult. Fortunately for me, they are people of whom I am proud. However, when your children grow up you realise that you only have so much input into them and that their adult decisions are not up to you - neither the good ones nor the bad ones. It would be wrong for me to take the credit for the things that my adult DD1 is achieving, and as far as we know there is no reason for the Tunisian mother to have been responsible for the actions of her son. I can't imagine anything worse than knowing your child has deliberately committed an atrocity like this. I believe the father of the Norwegian neo nazi psychopath reacted in a similar way, as Libraries mentioned. That young man was his family's hope for a better future, and now they have to deal not only with his loss but with the knowledge that he was a mass murderer. Awful.

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